amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

amyorama · 07-07-2009, 12:41 AM

I need child care for my 4 y/o and 2 y/o when I return to school this fall. My friend offered to watch them. My kids love her! However, I am wondering if it's a good idea.
I would be paying her $10 an hour for two 6 hour days, on Tuesdays and Thursdays at my house. She can bring her 14 y/o and her 9 y/o to my house. They can eat my food, too.
Any thoughts? Any ground rules to share if I DO allow her to watch my kids?

tracey · 07-07-2009, 12:45 AM

talk to xt about this. she paid a friend of ours to watch her 3 kids several days a week this summer in order to go to school. it seems like it worked out ok for everyone.

tisme · 07-07-2009, 10:53 AM

I watched my friends daughter for a while on my days off, and she helped out with watching DS after school a few days a week. Our schedules were such that we were off when the other needed each other.

We said right from the start that we would talk about any frustrations and would be upfront and honest with each other if we didnt feel it was working out - so we didnt hold it in and allow it to affect our friendship.

After a few weeks, she felt it was too much for her to pick up DS from school those days and her DH's schedule changed that he was home the same day I was off work, so she told me how she was feeling and our arangement ended. We're still friends, and everything ended up working out. But had we held our feelings inside for the sake of the other person, I dont think it would have ended the same way.

xt · 07-07-2009, 11:17 AM

Our similar situation is working out pretty well for me - honestly, it couldn't go on forever or we might have issues, but we can deal with our families' differences knowing it's temporary.

heythereheather · 07-07-2009, 01:07 PM

I'd worry about the food issue. It would be annoying to come home from school, ready to get dinner on, and find out what you'd planned was eaten already. KWIM? I'd think about how to handle that a bit more. Or if you were on a strict budget, having a lot of your food eaten by hungry older kids could be hard.

Otherwise, I've watched kids for friends, but not the opposite. Does she parent in a similar way to you?

teathymes · 07-07-2009, 02:56 PM

for me, $10 an hour for 2 kids at your house with your food up for grabs seems like a lot. The kids will go through alot of food I will imagine.

Maidenmyhome · 10-20-2009, 11:51 AM

I have heard of this going bad more than one time.
It depends on how close you are as friends.....all sorts of little things could arise and the friendship might be seriously hurt.

Good luck, its a tough decision.

freedomlover · 10-20-2009, 12:29 PM

I would not have the food up for grabs.

Maybe, have a certain shelf or whatever with available items for them.

Food costs quite a bit and it might be financially bad to have it for taking.

amyorama · 10-20-2009, 10:06 PM

Update

I told my friend that if she didn't want to watch my kids just let me know, no questions asked. I would still want her as a friend, no matter what! (I am fortunate that I have my mom and FIL as back up babysitters so I can find time for her replacement, kwim?)

I pay my friend $10 an hour and she comes to my house to watch my 4 and 2 y/o only one day a week. She also brings her 9 and 13 y/o DDs and brings food. My kids love her and her kids.

She has been an awesome babysitter! They do crafts and today they made glycerin soap with spiders in it. How cool is that?! She also does housework although I tell her not to! She is such a generous person!

I really appreciated all the responses. I seriously couldn't have done this without input!