amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

3boysnagrl · 01-14-2006, 10:04 PM

before going anywhere - Austin is 8 and in 3rd grade at PS. He would have been considered 4th grade had we homeschooled him, but he really did need held back to catch up in a few areas - he's easily distracted at home. Anyway... Nathan just turned 8. He's considered 2nd grade. (but working ahead in math and doing some neat application stuff that blows my mind)

This has been a big frustration for the last couple of years... and part of why Austin (my oldest) was so hesitant to sit and do work with me. This year he is in public school, and he is getting some more help in reading and math. Yay.

BUT... the other night I was helping him with his math. Nathan decided to come out and see what we were doing. Fine. He was looking at Austin's paper as Austin wrote his answers... and was correcting him as soon as he started to write the wrong thing. Nate tried to tell Austin *how* to do it - a different way of thinking than Austin had been using... and all heck broke loose. sigh.

I tried to stop Nate from saying anything to Austin, but he did before I knew what he was doing. He was being nice and very helpful - not at all in a 'you're so stupid' way at all.

This HAS to be frustrating for Austin. I mean, here is his little brother telling him how to do his math. He has a hard time listening to ME give him strategies for solving problems... let alone his LITTLE brother.

And Nate... he just wanted to help. Math has always come very easy for Nate - but he is also a much more sedentary child - opposite than Austin.

Anyone have any words of wisdom for dealing with a typical/on grade level child - and the younger advanced child who is surpassing his older brother?

We plan on bringing Austin home again next year to homeschool, and I am sure that Nate will be ahead of him - probably a good year or so. Right now he is at least 1/2 year ahead of him in computation skills... but even further in application. I want to find a good way to deal with this without it becoming a problem for Austin thinking he is stupid, and Nate thinking he is all-knowing.

heythereheather · 01-16-2006, 07:39 PM

My only experience is with my younger sister. She's 11 months younger, and was always much better on the piano than me. Probably when I was 3rd grade, she was 2nd grade, she would sit down at the piano, pick up a piece I had been practicing, and play it better than me. It infuriated me.

My mom instituted a rule that she couldn't play the pieces I was working on, which works because there is a lot of piano music out there

But what I most appreciated was how she helped teach me that I wasn't alwasy going to be the best at everything. Some things I was good at (reading music), some things my sister was better at (sightreading, playing by ear). She pointed out the places where I was stronger, and pointed out areas where Becca was stronger. It was a good lesson for me, that I didn't have to be the best at everything to be acceptable.

Korwynne · 01-17-2006, 01:21 PM

is there something the oldest excels at that he could help the younger with?

Sontanned · 01-23-2006, 11:42 AM

This is the time to drive home the idea that people are unique individuals with different areas that they excel in.

Mamax4 · 02-24-2006, 09:18 PM

My standard line to my kids, said totally from my heart, is this: We all have our own gifts to share.

Life is a journey, not a race.