Michael is not as gifted as Vidura (from what I can tell of your posts) but he is 5 and at the same level or more advanced - in a lot of things than Melissa age 6. Blows me away how easily he catches on to math. I totally had planned to take a more unschooling "better late than early" approach - but that's just not doing it for him. He needs structure and he is able easily to work with Melissa and learns things in less time than she does. Though for goven't purposes right now I have him as K and her as 1st grade when they are mostly doing the same work. Melissa is quite bright as well though. Both are night and day from my 4 year old Maddy - who I can't imagine starting any kind of workbook or learn to read program with her. It would be forcing it. She's not ready. Hard for me because I was always extremely advanced academically - reading well before first grade and so on. But all kids are different. From everythign I've read - you are doing a great job with Vidura.
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~ Cheryl ~ single mama to
Melissa (9), Michael (8), Madeleine (7)
twins Megan & Maribeth (4)
Why do I feel bad/guilty/like a crappy mom when I read a post like the Kindergarten post in alt. learning forum???
I keep repeating to myself that I'm not pushing him, and I know I'm not. But still it makes me feel like crap when people paint you a picture of "you'll see" "after 3rd grade they'll stop" "it's gonna put strain on relationship/family" "academics are crap play is the only way for little ones to learn" etc.
Yeah I'm paranoid and always take everything personally. It's hard not to.
You know what? Vidura would lose it if all we did were nature walks and play.
I buy him age appropriate board games and he cries that they are for babies. Except for Hi Ho cherry Ho because he managed to create new rules that make it more interesting. Otherwise he likes parcheesi, chess and stuff like that.
He plays, all the darned time. He has little people and he makes them recite sanskrit verses to each other he plays with toys, makes sand castles at the park every day, goes on the slides, you know, he's a REAL kid!
He's not a robot, not a machine. But yes, he can spend 3-4 hours a day just doing work books, staring at a board where i draw and write lessons, etc.
I don't force anything. If anything he's the one forcing it on me.
You tell him birds are born in eggs, he won't be satisfied, you also have to tell him how they live/develop/breathe in there, and what the shell is made of, how it forms inside the mother. That's the way he is. Not the way "I made him" ykwim?
**** sometimes I wish he was just "normal"
Anyway, this post is pointless I guess, but I need to get it off my chest.
Ys,
Radhanuga
OMG- I started that post and I never meant to hurt you, or anyone else, mama! I am so sorry! Vidura is an exceptional boy: he's bilingual and is starting to read, or he already knows how to? How old is he now, 3? Well, my Henry will be five this month, and can not read, doesn't care to learn his letters or numbers and writes his name like this: HoOttTooOOHTTtttoooXxXoO
See my concern? LOL
I apologize for making you feel less than. You are not in the least, mama! When I read how well Vidura is doing, how precocious he is, I panic, and think "Why can't Henry do those things? Why doesn't he even care to do those things?" I know one should never compare oneself to another, much less your child but I am human and tend to be very insecure when it comes to homeschooling my young boys. Honestly, without the support I get here, I don't know where I'd be. I love you all!
Again, my apologies. I never meant to hurt you! Please forgive me!
Amy
ETA I would have never seen this post since it was in the "gifted" forum. I clicked on "new posts" just to let you know.
ETAA One reason why I am so insecure about HSing, is because my FIL is Korean and I swear, he went to school six days a week, maybe 10 hours a day for his whole academic career, not counting the war, of course. So, he thinks drill work, endless hours doing mindless lessons are the way to learn. It worked for him, he is extremely bright, top of his class in college, etc. When he sees us homeschooling, he doesn't agree. Our kids can't learn unless they're in a building.
Again, my apologies to anyone I may have offended.
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My boys
Amy, abuser of quotation marks and parentheses,
Mama to five sprites
I must take responsibility for speaking out as well on that thread.
I did say that each family must do what is right for their child and I mean that!!
I have 2 gifted children, one that is extremely so!! So, I know the challenges.
But, what I was saying as someone else pointed out is that families who pushed academics and didn't allow free time is when the child will put on the breaks!!
I was the one who said it would hit them in the face by 3rd grade as I have seen it in several families (not just homeschoolers). These are the ones who pushed academics and I mean pushed because one family, in particular, wanted to have her children finish high school early!!! Her children are bright but not gifted and I felt sorry for them for a long time because they just seemed to be missing something. But through our friendship, I have learned from her and she now sees the benefit of letting go and letting them be for a while.
I was not trying to offend anyone, merely share observations.
I do agree with Meeshi about being offended by certain things that I see and cringing when I read something that isn't done the way I think is right BUT, I do know that people have to be where they are as changing and growing goes on all the time. I know I am a different person, wife and mother I was 5 years ago. I did things then I don't do now!!
I am sorry you felt bad by the things brought up. You seem to be giving Vidura a wonderful life and educational journey!!!
I also type and think way too fast sometimes and may not reveal my thoughts as nicely as I would like, like now, I am typing, sitting with 2 yo and talking to my mom at the same time so please forgive my often blunt behavior on the internet.
Location: Driving an SUV powered by Biodiesel made from waste vegetable oil.
Posts: 2,883
That's the beauty of homeschooling, isn't it? We each get to choose what works best for our child. In your case...from what I'm reading here, Vidura needs more in the way of academics. He thrives on it. Enjoys it. What's wrong with that? I thinks it's great.
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~Amy~
Cherishing my newest wee boy...Fionn Skye and homeschooling mama to Spencer (proud to be 9) and wee Lazlo (5)
Kayaking is my bliss. Strip-built kayak made by DH.
San Juan Islands - New Years 2007.
Again, my apologies. I never meant to hurt you! Please forgive me!
AAAAWWWWWWW Amy you NEVER offended me
Nobody did offend me at all, I was just venting, I'm so sorry my post came out the worng way.
It just happened that after a day with people irl telling me how Vidura is a mini adult and I push him to hard I came accross the post and got very emotional. I am very sorry I didn't mean to start anything.
Amy you know I you and you can never offend me.
And Tracey same thing it wasn't directed at anyone, I was really just venting. Combination of events in the same day...
I understand.. I've been accused of pushing Lindsey her whole life.. she's not where Vidura is, but she was talking in sentances by her first birthday, etc.. people just don't understand and I actually had someone tell me they were uncomfortable with their children playing with her because she's too intimidating.. my kids are too intense for quite a few other people too.. which makes me sad.. but they are who they are, kwim? Best thing we can do as parents is to encourage them and answer the questions they ask us...
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Our first REAL snowman.. a lasting memory of the snow
I have been told by many here, and other places, that they feel they have to "hide" their children's "giftedness" because they don't want to worry others or have others compare their children. But we still need a place to talk, to share ideas, etc. If I were to post on alt. learning "I need a chemistry curriculum for my 4-year-old" I would invariably get at least one response of "Just let him play, don't do a curric. with him yet." The same is true on many other sites. "Our" hope for this forum was a place to get specific suggestions and support, without worrying others or having that constant mantra of "don't push them".
And I tell you, I was soooo "better late than early" before I was faced with Erik. I remember telling someone when Erik was 18 months old or so that I wasn't going to do any academic work with him, I was in no rush for him to learn the alphabet, no way I was going to quiz him on it.... and 2 months later, he knew the whole alphabet. So much for me getting to teach it to him at the "appropriate" age.
Which is why I posted my vent in this particular forum. I asked Jo and Brian to set up this forum for us mothers of gifted children, because we can vent/share/discuss and support each other.
People who don't have gifted children honestly can't even begging to understand. No logic applies to them. No "norm" applies to them. They are special need. They are intense. Most of the time we just sit in front of them with our mouth open not able to say or do anything because we are totally overwhlemed by them, their knowledge, their ways, their thinking.
Kaya has always been ahead of the pack on so many thing, I truly do understand having a child that is hard to keep up with. I won't list all of the things she can do, but needless to say, she has even surpassed her 7 year old sister in some subjects.
I hope you can all see how different that is from pushing a child who is not into it.
I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone. I just wanted to express how I see people taking things personally that aren't so. If you're not pushing your child past their comfort level, then please don't read into others posts that you must be. Only you and your child know if what you're doing is too much, too soon.
I have been fortunate enough not to hear negitive things about what my DD does or doesn't do but only because she chooses to focus in an area that isn't obvious to strangers. She focuses on art. She was scribbling at 10 months, drawing faces before she was 2. Now at 5 she is in art classes with 10 year olds, working on perspective and shading. I would never have considered pushing her to do these things. Still when we tried to hold her to her age group in art class she was bored and disruptive. Turns out we weren't the ones pushing, she was pulling!
That's the hardest part in parenting a gifted child, balancing their need for stimulation with the constraints that other people have on their age.
I'm glad to have a place where the parents of gifted kids can vent and get support.
Chole
__________________ 18th century Mama to a exciting 8yr old, SO to a graphic novel guy
Kaya has always been ahead of the pack on so many thing, I truly do understand having a child that is hard to keep up with. I won't list all of the things she can do, but needless to say, she has even surpassed her 7 year old sister in some subjects.
I hope you can all see how different that is from pushing a child who is not into it.
I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone. I just wanted to express how I see people taking things personally that aren't so. If you're not pushing your child past their comfort level, then please don't read into others posts that you must be. Only you and your child know if what you're doing is too much, too soon.
Meeshi--
Can you see how Anne might take this as you invalidating her feelings? If you feel they are appropriate or inappropriate, by saying that they are unfounded DOES invalidate them in a sense. Whether or not she should feel this way isnt the question-- the fact is that she DOES feel this way is what she was venting about here. I know you didn't mean to offend, but by rewording, you could have probably avoided a lot of hurt feelings. It seems to me that essentially you were trying to say "if you know what you are doing is right for your child, then dont let what other people say affect you". Instead it came across as " what you are feeling is silly, and you shouldn't feel this way".
BTW, I swear I am not trying to jump on you (you know I like you ), I am just trying to say that more care with your words could go a long way.
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Heather , mama to Liam, born 12-19-01, and Simon, born 04-17-05 wife to Mark, married 09-23-97
Sure, Heather. I'm just upsetting people left and right these days. I tend to be blunt, especially when posting quickly between running to the bathroom. I guess I have to remember that I have hardened myself against taking things *so* personally, but others are very vulnerable to it.
My whole point is....eh nevermind. It would just come out wrong anyway.
Sorry you're feeling hurt, Anne. I am pretty sure you know I truly like you. I know you have deep insecurity issues, and I just hurt you more instead of helping you see it's not personal. Sorry.
If I was that type of person it would make me feel better that you must be pushing since my son is not reading at age 7. However I know they learn differently and I don't really want my kids to be to far ahead of me. I am more envious of people who are more organized then I am then how much their children know.
As I once again drool over my RR catalog (trying too) convince myself that No, I don't need another book to teach him how to read he just needs time.
he plays with toys, makes sand castles at the park every day, goes on the slides, you know, he's a REAL kid!
it wasn't directed at anyone, I was really just venting. Combination of events in the same day...
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