amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

mama_wingnut · 06-30-2004, 02:32 PM

I've been thinking about this lately...when I met dh he was not veg...one night after he ate some meat, I could not physically bring myself to kiss him, even after he brushed his teeth... I don't think I pressured him or anything, just said 'I can't kiss you, you smell like meat'

He has not eaten cow or pig since, occaisonally fish (& then I really can't kiss him

We did separate for a month a couple years ago & told me that he ate a steak when we weren't together...i didn't think much of that at the time, but have been lately...I don't wanna have him be vegetarian b/c I am!

My kids are veg until they can understand what it means to eat meat. My 7 yo wanted to try his granddad's chicken in a restaurant & I asked him to remember where it came from, but that he could decide. He took a tiny taste & felt sad about it afterwards...but we talked about it objectively (hard for me!) and I didn't force him, but told him my facts...I don't think he'll want that taste ever again...but I didn't want to stifle curiosity, ykwim

My own reasons are: not wanting to impact the earth, walk lightly whenever possible...evolution has brought us to a point where we can survive WELL without consuming other animals--usually living longer & healthier lives...the meat industry has disgustingly low standards (ever read that krishna book where they quote gov't standards on the amt of chicken breast PUS allowed !!!

) and to devote my life to kindness, not murder.

Anyone else want to share philosophies? And how your family reacts?

This post is long! Too much coffee!

veganbaby · 06-30-2004, 02:52 PM

When I met my husband he wasn't a vegetarian either. We were dating for seven months before he converted. I think he realized what kind of lifestyle I wanted to live and the impact of eating meat does on the world. We went vegan togehter two years ago. Although since this pregnancy, I admit I've cheated a couple of times....but my belly has made me pay for it. Which helps me curb my cravings for dairy. My family wasn't supportive when I became vegetarian but they accept it now. They're not too keen on the vegan diet though. And I know that they will give me trouble for raising our child vegan. My husband's family is very accepting and respectful, although I don't think they fully understand what we can and cannot eat. "A little chicken won't hurt for flavoring. You can't see it." That can be flustering because his mother has cooked for us before. She wouldn't put meat in our food to be mean, just that she thinks that it adds flavor. His family are avid meat eaters so it's hard for them to see a meal without meat.

mama_wingnut · 07-01-2004, 01:22 PM

Hee hee my MIL used to suggest that we pick the beef chunks out of the beef stew

I wonder veganbaby, do you ever wonder that dh became veggie for you & not for himself...and isn't thinking for yourself important? I just have thought of starting a conversation w/dh many times, but I'm afraid he'll just start eating hamburgers if I tell him to think for himself

No, not really, I think it's a case of the lifestyle coming BEFORE the decision. I don't think he could go back to meat if he tried...back when he ate that steak, he felt sick about it.

PS thanks for your reply on my 1st post

anikasmama · 07-01-2004, 03:15 PM

dh and I were both veggie when we met. I don't think I could have ever considered dating someone who ate meat. That's just me though. I know a lot of people who are veggie and their SOs aren't. We have done the vegan thing off and on a few times over the years, but always had trouble drawing the line (what constitutes vegan - there are so many hidden animal products in things you really can't avoid them all, i.e., gelatin on film, I read somewhere that they use some animal part in making tires, etc.) so now we aren't vegan, but try our best to avoid animal products when we can. Our reasons are mostly ethical and environmental. We will raise our children veggie.

~Becky

veganbaby · 07-01-2004, 05:52 PM

mama_wingnut, sometimes i do wonder why he became veg, i think at first it was more for me, but going to protests with me he stays with it for ethical reasons. ankiasmama, i didn't think i would date someone who wasn't a vegetarian either...it just happpened. he always knew where i stood when it came to rasing my future children though. when we became more serious and talked about having children together, he said that he wouldn't eat meat in front of them. now we don't have to worry about that.

anikasmama · 07-01-2004, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mama_wingnut
Hee hee my MIL used to suggest that we pick the beef chunks out of the beef stew

My grandma, bless her heart, tried to make something for me to eat at Thanksgiving when I was a teenager after I became veggie - I think it was stuffing or something - and I asked her what was in it...just bread, celery, CREAM OF CHICKEN SOUP.... I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I put some on my plate and when she wasn't looking my dad helped me slip it onto his plate quick. From then on, I always just brought something with me when we went to visit. That was easier than trying to explain the intricacies to her.

Quote:

do you ever wonder that dh became veggie for you & not for himself...and isn't thinking for yourself important?

I convinced my best friend to become veggie by showing her a few pictures in the book "Animal Factories"...while she was eating chicken. She was still thinking for herself. She just needed to be informed. I'm happy to say that was 10 years ago and she is still veggie.

Veganbaby, I probably WOULD have dated someone who wasn't veggie if everything else about them was cool. I just can't imagine someone with all the other qualities I was looking for not being veggie. Most of the people I hung out with were veggie (most of the people in my major at college were very crunchy, and outside of them I was in the punk crowd and most of them were veggie too) and I'm lucky I met my dh who shared many of my views.

~Becky

Oh, and mama-wingnut...Welcome to Amity's! I'm glad to see the Veggie Place getting more posts in the last month or so. I love to chat with people about veggie stuff, but there wasn't a lot happening in here when I first came to Amity's. I hope it keeps up!

mama_wingnut · 07-02-2004, 03:50 AM

Thanks for the welcome! I feel all fuzzy

I guess I should just be glad he is veggie, huh, b/c if I had to kiss someone with flesh on their breath...I don't know...my SIL does it, all dh's brother eats is sugar and red meat. I don't know how she does it...that's another post altogether

I'm lovin the Amity so far, I need to get back to my art, and thought this is based on trade & art, somewhat? Am I wrong? Anyway, I was feeling oppressed at the Mothering site...so thought I'd check out u sistahs!

Thanks for every mama's replies so far, I gotta go upstate this week for the Rainbow National...it's in Cali this year so we HAD to go...if anyone's there, look for Chez Wingnut...won't be around here for a week so don't miss me too bad...