amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

07-25-2003, 12:44 AM

Well, since I am posting, I have a question...we are veggie, (dairy free at home, eat eggs and dairy when out but try not to have it in the house) but I really want to let go of the food issues in my house. I am drawn to self regulation for children but food seems to be my last area to let go. I really think that my son has trouble with dairy (makes him cranky and itchy on his leg) and my daughter has dark eye circles and bumpy spots on the backs of her arms (corn seems the most likely culprit). And also my son is a sugar craver.
So, while I want to let them eat freely without me saying anything, I just can't seem to. When my son is gulping down artificial colored drinks and eating his third ice cream cone, I really wonder if self regulation will work.
Anyone have any experience with this issue?
thanks
vicky

07-25-2003, 01:45 PM

Vicky,

I don't know how old your children are, so I'm working a little bit in the dark.

One of the benefits of being a parent (or parents) is unlimited executive authority. Your kids don't get a vote. It's certainly useful to solicit their opinions on certain issues, but on things that you feel strongly about you are under no such obligation. If you don't want your son eating ice cream cones, you can eliminate them from your shopping trips. If you don't want your son eating three ice cream cones, you can say "no" after one. Or after two.

Here's where the age factors in. It' probably not reasonable to expect a five-year-old or even a ten-year-old to make healthy eating decisions. There are exceptions, of course, but your average kid of that age will usually choose the Kool-Aid over the celery sticks. Children need parental guidance in all facets of their life, from ethics and morality to food and fitness. There will be plenty of opportunity for your children to explore their individuality (clothes that annoy you, music that drives you nuts, and friends you can't stand

). Their nutrition probably shouldn't be one of these areas.

In your home, don't feel guilty about making dietary choices for your kids and then enforcing it by rule of law.

Good luck!

IBelieveInFae · 07-25-2003, 08:14 PM

Well, what I do in my family is I just don't buy the stuff that I don't want Annabelle to eat. If it's not in the house, she won't eat it plain and simple. If we go out and see it she might ask for it and I might let her have it but I don't every time.

I'd switch to non-dairy alternatives like Rice Dream instead of Ice Cream, cut out corn completely and stock up on juice. Don't take the kids shopping with you if you don't want to have them ask for things.

JoMamaCo · 08-07-2003, 04:52 PM

im trying not to jinx myself but it's funny how i can already foresee this happening with my daughter. she is only 13 months and LOVES sweets especially unrefined junk food, which i do not give her!
my mom brought us up on whatever was around- she still has not grasped that i turned out vegan, eating mainly organic, so it's hard for her not to give my daughter cola flavored slurpees and lollipops!
anyone else have this problem? i dont know how to deal with it because she's my mother, but i KNOW if i leave her at grandma's for 10 minutes she'll be spoiled with junk i would never give her!
i guess im just venting,
joleen

thea · 08-17-2003, 12:33 PM

I don't believe in making children eat foods they hate, but that does not mean letting them eat whatever they want. If you believe a particular food is causing health problems for your kids, they should not eat it. Being a parent means protecting your children from things that harm them, including foods they are sensitive to.

freedomlover · 08-17-2003, 01:11 PM

that being said....

we have days when I bring junk they shouldn't in.

I have a 10 and 13 yr old who want to have stuff like soda and chips and candy sometimes and I let them (not everyday though)

I also give them choices of which bread out of several we will have at home.

So choices among acceptable foods helps them feel content.

We just don't have artificial flavored/colored foods 'in stock'....we get them on planned days and the kids know that they are here and then gone again!

My little 3 yr old loves popsicles and I get real juice ones for him or make some.

My two boys have some food sensitivities but they don't want to eat the foods which bother them.....so I don't have to fight them on it.

Away from home I let them have a bit of whatever they want (but they consume the majority of their food items at home)