Teens and PreteensOh dear- the eye rolling, the attitude, the whines of 'OH MOM'... hormones? just a phase? being a teen is tough- being the mama of one is tougher...
tell me that I will get thru this. It's really bad right now with my almost 14 year old. I'm even going to cancel her birthday celebration (Saturday). I can't believe how bad it's getting. Every time I think that she's FINALLY getting her act together, something happens. I really don't know what to do. We all want to see the best in our kids, but I think that it's time for me to wake up and smell the coffee.
well I am right there with you.
My daughter is 17 now and it has gotten harder, not easier.
She is beautiful, bright, charming, funny, kind, sweet, generous, loving and in general an amazing person.
she also 'forgets' to take out the trash, thrashes her room, fails geometry, lies on occasion over the stupidest things, won't get off the ****ed phone and/or internet, thinks she is smarter then we are, may ruin her chances of any type of formal education after highschool, can be rude and downright nasty and speaks with a hateful tone 80% of the time - especially if we are calling her out on her nonsense.
It is very very hard. I drink alot of coffee and pray alot. I am not sure what to do. I continue to tell her I love her, that I like her and that together we will get thru this but that if she is rude to me, lies to me etc - that it is very hard for me to be a loving, supportive mama. So she needs to let me help her , but being kind to me.
Sigh. Teenagers are so tough
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))
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Barb
mama to Chelsey 20, Zoey 9, Roman 6 , gramma to Miss Alea, 10 mos and sorta mama to Nienie 19.5
We really don't get out much. Welcome to my world.
I hear ya, i have a 13 yr old whom i love very much but sometimes just dont plain like. She is very smart, beautiful and talented but can be so tempermental i sometimes wanna smack the crap out of her, she is especially snotty to her siblings if they ask for help but then wants everyone to bend over backwards to help her. She isnt too snotty with my dh and I (yet)because well she knows better but she has tried to see how far she can go on a few occasions my main thing is the lying about doing things, i CANT STAND to be lied to so if i ask you if you did your chore and you say yes it better be done, but usually she hasnt done a dang thing. I dont ask much of the kids other than to pick up after themselves and on occasion do something to help me out but i cant get her or my 11 yr old really to do anything, its very frustrating and i dont have any answers other than eventually they will leave our house and finally then hopefully they will see that we werent full of BS like they thought we were.
Oh and dont get me started on her room, both of my older 2 are plain arse slobs when it comes to their rooms, ive kinda given up on that unless it starts to travel out into the hall. I dont know how they know where anything is, but i try not to freak out about it too often only because i remember not being the greatest room cleaner when i was younger either and so i pick my battles.
teenagers are a species all their own. I wish ya luck. I just pray i make it through 4 teenagers. One day at a time,lol.
Oh ive done the cancelling of parties before too sometimes things get bad enough they call for drastic measures.
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SAHM/Homeschooler of 4 wonderful kids who amaze me one minute and drive me crazy the next. But I wouldn't have it any other way
My daughter is 17 now and it has gotten harder, not easier.
She is beautiful, bright, charming, funny, kind, sweet, generous, loving and in general an amazing person.
she also 'forgets' to take out the trash, thrashes her room, fails geometry, lies on occasion over the stupidest things, won't get off the ****ed phone and/or internet, thinks she is smarter then we are, may ruin her chances of any type of formal education after highschool, can be rude and downright nasty and speaks with a hateful tone 80% of the time - especially if we are calling her out on her nonsense.
Barb, I could have written the above, even down to the failing geometry, execpt my teen is 16.
Ok...Well, here's from the other side..Alexis just turned 20 and we got through it. She was really horrible from 16-18 mainly. Before that she had soccer which kept her very busy because she was good at it, but then she had a major injury and the teenage rebel went nutso.
Today she is working full time for a public defender's office, going to school part time with the intention of becoming a nurse/midwife. This child is very very smart, and yet almost didn't graduate high school she was getting so crazy. Life threw us all a lot of curve balls in those years, but she's alive, she's well, and we talk constantly. Our relationship got strong because despite all the fighting, at least I was her safe harbor, yk?
In some respects, the fighting, the crazy stuff, it's what is supposed to happen..and if it is happening rather than having a child completely shut you away, it's hard, but it's good. A child won't fight with you if they don't feel loved, yk?
Anyway..it's going to be OK.
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Meg
Mama to Alexis, 22; Jacob, 19; and Elijah 11/20/02 and Sophia Jane, 11/20/04
I can understand how you feel. My dd just turned 14 and all I can say is some days she is good,tries real hard wants to help etc and on others it is total hell,major attitude rudeness etc. Its hard somethimes I tell you. But from what I hear from others it is normal teenage behaviour,but sometimes I want to ripe out my hair
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Tamara:s mama to Alexis-16
Dylan 15
Sarah-12(mild C.P)
Hailey-10
Alyson- 9
Brayden-4
Baby Rian-April-9-07
mine is an almost 16yo son and this has become my mantra-
"He will find his way. I can't see his way because it is not my way. But I KNOW he will find his way. It will be an amazing path-- something I can not even dream of.....but it is out their for him and I know he will find it"........without me and probably in spite of me. LOL
In the meantime mamas....keep it simple...just like with a toddler...lol....for us that means saying "take out the trash" 20 times...he may piss and moan but as long as we keep it simple and leave out all the yammering (like-- how many times do i have to tell you to take out the trash?!?!? why do you always have to be told?!?!?!? When are you going to yaddda yadda yuckies.) the storm rises and falls very quickly.
And try and remember that it IS THEIR JOB TO CHALLENGE US. This is how they learn where the boundaries are and what they can expect. Think of the mental/intellectual challenge as the same thing as the toddler who is learning to walk and grabs things. Here these young people are growing up and getting more freedom and responsibility and they are both excited and frightened all at the same time. Be clear. Be consistent. Be patient.
And this to shall pass. LOL
The bottom line for me it that at this age they know on some level that you really can't 'make' them to much. We have to generate cooperation, not take it personal, and pray, mediate or medicate. LOL
Luna
mama to a 15yo with 3 F's, who scores off the charts, and it about as lazy as they come---- oh and filthy!!! ......and kind and gentle and caring to everyone except his parents.
we have days like this. TBH, my kids have tons of privileges, and I will take them away in a heartbeat if they become obstinate. Just like acting up at work and not doing your job well will get you written up/possibly fired, I will do the same at home. My 15 yo has a permit, cell phone, ipod, computer, allowance, and PS2. That is all subject to being yanked in an effort to adjust her attitude. She did fail Latin this term, but she is doing VERY well in all of her other classes and I have to accept that she will be good in some areas and not others.
We do have days where she gets pretty snotty but I just remind her that she can go into her room and scream all kinds of venomous things into her pillow so long as I don't hear them lol. Most of the time she takes me up on that offer. Honestly though, if I just point out what I don't like about her behavior she tries to do better. I think she doesn't even realize how difficult she is being until I point it out. Hell, sometimes *I* don't realize how difficult I am until I get called on it.
Just keep repeating "this too shall pass".
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Robin
Mother to Brian, Libby, Emily, Joshua and Jake
come Play with Mii 0707 6585 8883 9574
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In some respects, the fighting, the crazy stuff, it's what is supposed to happen..and if it is happening rather than having a child completely shut you away, it's hard, but it's good. A child won't fight with you if they don't feel loved, yk?
Anyway..it's going to be OK.
I want to remember this - my time is coming up very quickly!
oh mamas, I wish it were as simple as a messy room. Really, it's way worse. And it's not grades either. Try hanging out with liars, lying herself, she let people in the house when she wasn't supposed to and they stole money from me, and now today, I found condoms.
Try hanging out with liars, lying herself, she let people in the house when she wasn't supposed to and they stole money from me, and now today, I found condoms. 
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