amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

Vanity Fair · 04-12-2005, 02:59 PM

What do you think of this article about teen "sex"? It's freaking me out and I know it's starting way younger than 14, based on some Oprahs and things that I've seen in the recent past.

I never thought that "oral sex" would be part of our first "chats" about sex. How do you say this "Oral sex is sex...period". And how do you even...ugh...I am at a lost. I am SO not a prude or anything, I thought I was ready for this, but throw some BJs into the mix and I am lost!

Durrrrr...edited to add the article: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/7378833/

MotherMoon · 04-12-2005, 03:33 PM

I have read and heard about this. They are not getting the information that oral sex can be just as deadly as intercourse. They are however, from home and elsewhere, receiving the message that oral sex is not sex therefore you do not lose your virginity. I think that discussing oral sex during a conversation about the birds and the bees is absolutely necessary. We should address all forms of initimate contact. And, unfortunately, it needs to be at a much earlier age than most of us are comfortable with.

Megmama · 04-12-2005, 03:39 PM

I hate to say it, but that attitude is completely true, at least it was for my daughter until I spoke to her about it. I told her that I was molested with that when I was 10 and be darned if anyone was going to tell me I wasn't because it's not really sex!! That worked. naturally I don't recommend saying that to your child, but you should start explaining soon (puberty hits earlier these days) what your expectations are in regards to sex.
My 15 yr old is a bit more mature about it, though what he wouldn't do to be allowed to have it..well...
but he knows that sex is a no-no and leads to disease. Alexis found out the scary way what unprotected sex can do, and oral sex can give you aids just as easily as regular. Now, Allie tested negative for all STDs but one abnormal pap for an 18 yr old was scare enough for her. She now volunteers to educate other teens about using protection.

I hope I made some kind of sense..you have to explain to your kids your expectations and what sex really is before some boy/girl convinces them it is OK because its not real sex!!

dreamseeds · 04-12-2005, 04:26 PM

Hugs Erin...I know how funky it is to explain these things, and talking to my son is much harder than my dd.

But none the less, we gotta talk to them so they don't get all the info from their immature peers that havn't a clue what is best for themselves even thought they *think* they know.

I know you know all of this, jsut stating my thought at the time