amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

BlueRoseMama · 10-01-2006, 01:50 PM

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Just thinking about our next house because a move is coming next year, and feeling out what I want. I do want a bit of a larger house. 900 sp ft is too small for 5 people... it just is. But I have used the space really well and I get better every day at decluttering and I think if this house had 2 acres with it I would buy it and live here forever. Does that make sense? I may add on in the future, but what I really want is land. My house is small, and soft and just my taste now that we are done painting and decluttering, and I feel at home here.

And of course we rent... so I can't really buy this house, and I can't transport it to a place where there is land anyway. lol... But it got me thinking what I would give up to get the property I want to live the life I am looking for.

I would give up living in a large house if the small house was laid out well and secure.

I would give up a garage all together... that has never been an issue for me.

I would give up each child having their own bedrooms, at least for now.

I would give up an office and get a lap top and have my computer in the main living area. (Ugh... I really hate this idea, but I would do it)

I would give up living close to town and traveling everyday (easily).

I am NOT willing to give up good schools.

I am NOT willing to give up the ability to live in a place and feel secure.

I am NOT willing to give up places to walk.

I am not willing to give up being in a progressive area.

What about you? What would you give up for your land? What would you never compromise for space and property?

Val

Mamax4 · 10-01-2006, 02:01 PM

1100 square feet of living space.

That's the difference between the house we live in now (good space) and the house (cramped old house in excellent condition) on land we want to buy.

I am not sure how that would work, but the land is beautiful.

I would also be giving up my kitchen I love. That I planned out with hsing and children and massive amounts of cooking in mind.

I would not buy something that we had to have two incomes to live in.

MotherMoon · 10-02-2006, 12:30 PM

What we did give up:

Free good schools (we pay for private but have homeschooled also)
close stores (until recently, we had a gas station convenience store and little else. We now have a Dollar General, Subway and BBQ place)
close jobs (in a town of 600 jobs are scarce. We commute 45 minutes (me more with taking kids to school too) each day)
garbage pickup (we have it now but did not until a few years ago)
cheap internet service (we pay about $75 a month for DSL and it is our only option)

What we have:
15 acres with some trees (mature oak, elm and hackberry)
safety (my kids can be outside 24/7 without me worrying about anything aside from snakes)
A house we are generally happy with
room to roam (even off our 15 acres, there are roads we can walk)
wonderful community with people willing to help in a bind (I discovered this when my IL's were dying at the same time at separate hospitals)
wildlife
room to garden (though I am still amending the soil)
learning opportunities galore (DH and I watched two spiders mate last night as we grilled)

I love our place. I'd only move to have more land and more trees. Where we are, in the near future (like 10 years), we would not be able to purchase more land. We'd like 75 acres or more.

JenTwo · 10-02-2006, 06:12 PM

We spend a majority of time outside so indoor space isn't completely necessary. I'd give a lot to have land, no debt, etc.

I would give up living in a large house (we don't live in a large house and have NOT enjoyed it when we have- too much to clean, the need to "fill" space, dust, heating, cooling inefficiency).

Can't give up the garage because of woodworking hobbies and outdoor hobby storage. Don't think we've used a garage for a car before.

My kids already share a room and love doing so.

Don't need an office

I don't want to live near a town/city.

We homeschool.

Won't do it on two incomes with the kids are at home (MAYBE, MAYBE late teens). Any debt incurred from the purchase must be easy to pay off in a reasonably short amount of time (i.e. I don't want to be in debt my entire life).

Security is a must but more land and less city feel to the area would definitely help that feeling.

Land IS the place to walk.

MUST have scenery, wildlife and a variety of weather.

We move in a week and will have no trash pick up, commute 38 mi (1 hour), high speed wireless under $25/mo, lots of room for exploring (next to forest), variety of weather, wildlife. We'll be renting, and for a short time (2-3 yrs). The closest small grocery store is 4 miles (pretty close) but is owned by a neighbor and run by his family.

The next closest grocery is a WalMart 30 mi away as well as two small, locally owned grocers.

xt · 10-03-2006, 02:21 AM

I would give up a lot. I have no need for a garage. I'm not all that attached to my stuff. I don't use the schools. There's nothing walkable here, anyway, so that's not a sacrifice. In the South, if you move out to the country, you have to expect folks to be more conservative, so I'm not really concerned about that.

I wouldn't give up my financial stability (we're not willing to take out a crazy huge mortgage). I wouldn't live next to confederate flag flying idiots. DH isn't willing to give up as many rooms or square footage as I am, it turns out. Oh, and as a family, I guess we're not willing to add another hour to his commute, cuz that's just mean. Apparently.

Ariadne Umbrell · 10-06-2006, 12:41 AM

I can't imagine having acreage. It sounds like a total fantasy. What do you do with it? There's a ranch two blocks from here, and it's mostly scrub, with a few cows wandering around.

We, I, us, live in a city: Austin. It's the only progressive city in Texas. It's more conservative a state than anywhere else. I don't know that I would cope well, anywhere else. DH had the offer to move to another city in Texas, and we turned it down b/c there was only one bookstore in town.

So, I guess what's important to us is :

3. A house
4. a backyard
5. a tree
1. bookstores
2. a university, and colleges

7. interesting people.
8. decent jobs.

I'm still hinked that one of the tech firms I worked at, temporarily- the head of HR said that they could pay people less- 25% less- than the rest of the country b/c people wanted to live in Austin. I know for nursing the pay is about half the rest of the country, and lower than the rest of Texas. I know in other jobs the pay has been incredibly low, and the managers really up front about it- "You'll take it so you can stay in Austin." Like, minimum wage to run a bookstore.

Dh has a 1 1/2 hour to 2 hour commute each way, each day. I see him at 7 in the morning, and again at 7 at night. Before the commuting job he had a 12- 16 hour workday, in the tech industry. Before that he had a job, with night school.

It's a balancing act. DH is really conservative, and I"m not, so when he gets excited about Dallas, I quash it, and when I get excited about San Fran, he quashes it. Austin is also one of the most expensive cities in America. Not coastal expensive, but expensive for the center. I'm in awe of how much house my friends can buy. But they can't really leave the house for something wonderful, either.

what did you do to your house to make it "just right" ? What colors of paint? What sort of organizing?

ari

BlueRoseMama · 10-06-2006, 10:59 AM

I painted the walls in the livingroom a sagey purple called "Evening peace", painted the bathroom "dusty toupe" and brought in colors of nature. I brought out all my baskets for organization, and decluttered like mad. I cleared off the deck/covered patio and put two rocking chairs out there. I threw away a lot. I cleaned a lot. I had the kids go through their rooms and rearranged so that they were happier: Cyan got the loft bed at 4 1/2 ft up (I cut the legs off and a fairy fort underneith) and Alex got his bed back on the floor. I put more shelves in their rooms, and brought in more baskets. I moved all their toys out of the living room except the trains. I bought picture frames for our favorite posters so it looked more grown up. Don bought me a papasan chair in green with a pink and brown pillow. I repotted some plants and got rid of some others. I put the winter bedding on the beds. I cleaned out all the closets so that everything was functional and had a spot to go... and then I brought in baby stuff. I got a second hand cradle in red oak varnish and am in the process of refinishing the bedding in all green/earthy leaf prints and tan corderoy. Perfect for a boy of mine I think. I got a baby papasan (which made Don laugh out loud) that vibrates similar to the little vibby chair that Cyan loved as a babe. It is also done in greens and tans. I vacuumed the couch really well... I made tied backs for the curtians out of huge beads I found at Peir One. I cleaned some more... that is about it actually.

Korwynne · 10-06-2006, 02:33 PM

I don't know what we want/need, to be honest. We've got a 1700 sq foot house, with a full basement and .4 acre here.. I'd love a little more space, actually. Our rooms are good sized, and I really enjoy that, we just need another room for Leila. I want them each ot have their own rooms. We're in a quiet neighborhood, but close to everything. I really like that.

Right now, our main thoughts are that we want to be home in the Northwest, we want mountains.. we want to be closer to family. I'm so freaking homesick.

That being said, in our next house, I'd like it a little larger, or maybe I should just say I want the rooms to be a decent size - I get claustrophobic. I want 4 bedrooms, and a backyard. I want trees. I'd love a pantry, and an office.. oh, and we need real dining room since I've got my grandparents table and china cabinet and curio waiting for us to arrive..

Val, I'd love to see what those colors look like - they sound like something I'd like in *my* house

BlueRoseMama · 10-06-2006, 07:43 PM

So ya asked for it.

You know me and pictures...

Here is the living room... I love this color!

And here is the bathroom:

I am LOVING these colors ladies. I wasn't so sure about either of them, but now I adore them. They are darker than I normally would like. BUt for some reason they just really set off the house.

Oh and here is the cradle (without the bedding that I haven't made yet);

Yes, the walls in my bedroom are baby blue and all of my bedding is toupe and red. lol... it seemed like a strange combination to me too, but it actually looks REALLY good. Esp with black accents.

So now my room is in baby blue, toupe, and red. My bathroom is dusty toupe, sage green, and orange. And my living room is light purple, dark green and black. That seems odd.... to type it out, but it also seems like it really works in my house. LOL!

And now that we are 100% ot...

mamabear · 10-06-2006, 09:36 PM

Val, I can't wait to go to the library and load up those pics.

Speaking of which, here is what I did give up to have my dream place:

*highspeed Internet, LOL (I can get satellite for a price, and am trying to hold out 3 mos to a year for wireless internet to get here)

*being even remotely close to any sort of major shopping. We are 10 minutes from a locally-owned general store, and 30 from a supermarket. An hour from any real big box stores besides Big Lots, Sears and JCPenney. This wasn't really important to me but when you're far from everything things do tend to be more expensive and you spend a lot of time running around looking for something. Luckily our general store is good about stocking almost everything you could ever want.

*We gave up each child having his/her own bedroom.

*We gave up sq footage - we are in a cozy and well laid out 950 sf. There are some challenges - no closets, a funky low-ceilinged and open loft for our bedroom, barely room for a desktop computer, no room for Jake to swing. We have some plusses like a basement, a garage and a storage shed, a huge wraparound porch and deck, and twentyfive acres.

*We gave up neighbors. We don't have any that are really that close. However we have several within a longer walk that are great friends.

*Racial diversity. This is probably the thing I miss the most about NY, Philly and the West Coast. Florida, where I lived, was not very diverse, and Vermont is about as white as it gets. It's crazy. I don't like it, but there is not much to do about it.

*We gave up being near family, and that was the hardest part of our choice. However in our choice we were not just moving for acreage/a homestead.

*Matt gave up his job, all the familiarity, a job he liked well enough, to move to an entirely new school in a whole different place where he had never lived before.

What I would not give up:

*a small mortgage
*clean air
*clean water
*good schools
*community
*low crime

Other than the basics, I am pretty much an opportunist! We did make these lists...not so much what would we give up, but what we wanted in a place to move to, before we moved here last year. It was really helpful to clarify priorities. Some places we considered, ended up nixed after we really examined the list of what was important to us.

I should add, what we do with our acreage - right now, not much - a small garden and some free-range chickens. A lot of it is wilderness that we are slowly carving trails through. We are eating wild berries and rose hips from it. We planted a garden and will plant a bigger one next year. We are thinking about getting some cows, sheep, goats and/or horses. (My son has an amazing relationship with a friend's horses and we are seriously thinking about using our land so he can have his own.) Or it could all just sit there and either get hayed and/or brushogged each year, or just sit there and slowly become wooded again. We also are going to collect sap and boil syrup in the spring, and selectively harvest the forest (just dead wood or trees that really need to go). It exhausts me just thinking about all of it. It is definitely a lot of work but we are doing the parts we enjoy.

Also as far as size, we are going to add on within a few years, as much as we can afford to. I love how simple the house is to clean and heat right now but it is squishy. We are trying to figure out a way to add just enough space and not too much. I think 400 sf more would be perfect and any more than that could be too much. I want a bedroom each for the kids, space for them to spread out and do art projects and set up trains, and an office and sewing space for myself. I know Matt wants a place to play music, but right now the garage serves that function.

Okay. Really done rambling now!

Ariadne Umbrell · 10-12-2006, 05:59 PM

Beautiful colors. Does the purple tilt a little yellow, or more blue? Is it more iridiscent? It doesn't look sugary at all.

You have a good eye. It looks like a very inviting house.

ari

BlueRoseMama · 10-12-2006, 06:19 PM

It is tinted grey/blue more than anything. If it was tinted yellow I wouldn't have picked it, because the greens would have clashed.

Thank you! The Detective from Don's new work told me that too and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

thea · 10-15-2006, 05:12 PM

We're closing on our 9 acres this week!
The main thing we'll be giving up is being close to family. That will be hard, since we're used to seeing Chris' parents, mine, or both at least once a week, and they also provide free child care.
We'll also be giving up natural food stores (and any other large stores as well), a comparatively long growing season (moving from zone 5 to zone 3. It's snowing like crazy there already), and the jobs we love and are secure in.
Of course, all this is still a long way away since we'll have to build a house before we can think about moving up there, and having just taken out a loan to buy the land, we don't want to go deeper into debt building the house. We're going to put a small cabin or a camper or something there so we have a place to stay when we're there, but the house is years away.

mamajohnson · 10-27-2006, 12:12 AM

Well, we did get the land we wanted five years ago. We moved from an 1800 sf home on 2 acres in Mass to over a 100 acres in Maine. The house is around 3000 sq ft. The original owners did some things right and other things that boggle my mind. We were looking for some decent land and the house was a nice added feature. There is still lots of work to do inside and out but we are slowly getting there.

Currently we have free-range chickens, turkeys and geese and also raise hogs every year. I have a good size garden. We are looking into goats for next year. Our five year plan is to have the pasture set and a barn built. We are also working on restoring the old apple trees on the property.

We gave up:

*being close to things (closest stores/library etc., is a 30 min drive)
*DSL or high speed internet (choice is dial up or satellite)
*family (closest is 4 hours away)

We gained:

*land
*freedom
*extremely low crime
*small town where people help each other
*the kids can go out and play and the only thing we have to worry about are large critters
*seeing the stars at night and wildlife throughout the year
*lots of room to roam
*good school
*and lots, lots more.