So, this morning DH decided he would take the boys grocery shopping because DD is sick (she was diagnosed with pneumonia yesterday). So, I gave him my list. On it, I had included new spray bottles for hydrogen peroxide and milk of magnesia for deodorant for me. He asked about how much of each thing, wondered why I was buying MOM, etc. When I told him about the hydrogen peroxide and vinegar, he said, "Gee, why not just use bleach?" "Why not just use regular deodorant?" And, gee, millions of other people must be wrong, and, hydrogen peroxide is a hazardous chemical too. And, MOM is a chemical. Anyway, it led to a whole big discussion, which he apparently found funny. He thought it was funny that I was so worked up, but he acts like I am full of crap and get all of my information from "f-ed up websites" which I am apparently incapable of discerning as good or bad or slanted, etc. And, there are no medicines in our country that are not approved by the FDA, and there is no reason not to buy those items, after all, we have stricter codes than mainland Europe, even (I don't know where he's getting his facts, but I need to find some information on Denmark ASAP). What kills me is that he is working on very limited, mainstream information, and he acts like what I have to say has no credibility whatsoever. It really makes me feel badly. And it really ticks me off. My kids have been sick, and he keeps loading them up with tylenol and whatever other things he can find at the drugstore. Never mind the tylenol doesn't do much for DD when her fever is spiking, and the only way we are able to keep it down for more than maybe 2 hours with tylenol in her is to give her belladonna. Never mind that DS #2 has started coming down with the same illness that led to DD's pneumonia and I have given him some anas barbarie, which seems to have made most of his symptoms magically disappear.
Apparently, though, I am full of crap, and I am a nut job refusing to feed my kids "normal food," and it makes no difference, and who knows what he's letting them have at the grocery store right now.
Thanks for letting me vent.
__________________ Jody
Mama to two boys (5-10-98 and 6-01-01), and two girls (11-18-03 and 1-11-07)
Location: When I dare to be powerful -- to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
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Oh honey! I'm grumpy for you.
The only tiny bit of advice I have is stick to it. Don is now an avid believer in organic foods (I was ok even when he was only doing it to please me) and he also uses things like Arnica and other herbals regularly. We had SO many arguments like this 5 years ago that I was convinced eventually we would split up over it. Little things that wern't even really fights, but they would make it very clear we didn't (and hadn't) lived in the same world or seen the same things (or even had the same values).
Keep researching... and try DES and Birth defects/cancer to see the compotence of the FDA. *snort* Just keep at it. The more you know the better your arguments will be. (Be prepared to admit you were wrong and find middle ground on many things. Both extremes have blind sides. I am thankful for my dh so that I now see that.)
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}
Val
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Val; Living the dream we have been working towards for over 5 years.
Mama to Alex, Cyan, and Logan. Wife to my very best friend.
I talked to him this weekend and feel better now. I explained to him that although he thought he was *just* disagreeing with me, there is a difference between disagreeing and telling me that my information is whacked. He didn't remember saying to me, "another one of your f-ed up websites," which is interesting, but, anyway. Sorry about going off.
Location: somewhere between complete exhaustion and utter euphoria
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Totally OT: Have ya'll been tested for celiac? Somehow, celiacs are more susceptable to pneumonia.
Back on topic: DH and I fight about this all the time. I have just decided that if I need something he is going to put down, I get it myself. He does not complain that the house smells better and we are healthier. He only complains when he has to buy the stuff. (or something I cooked tastes "different"). I am not sure what it is all about.
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Michelle
-- Mom to Beth, 11 and Sam, 8
Location: When I dare to be powerful -- to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
Posts: 9,502
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kbsmama
He didn't remember saying to me, "another one of your f-ed up websites," which is interesting, but, anyway. Sorry about going off.
It's a maturity thing for my dh. I remember one conversation VERY clearly when we were dating. We were driving in my car for about 30 miles, and we had only been dating for about 6 months. We had both been in very serious relationships before and we split up with our ex's just months before we met. All of this was fresh and talked about quite often... what went wrong, how we could change it, etc. About half way on this drive he was poinint out cars and talking about the benifits of this and that and the power of a V6 over the power of a 4 cil, etc. Just general car talk. I said something to the effect of, "My dream car is a Porche' pick up truck that runs on Kleenex, it would be so enviromentally friendly." I was giggling and he said "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard." with a completely serious face. I stopped and said "I know now why Genni left you. If you said things like that to me, and I was not a strong enough person to say "That sucks, don't run my ideas down like that" then eventually I would hate you." What a slap huh? But honestly he had no idea that his words had that effect... or Genni had been so shy about telling him how much it hurt that he said them all the time and didn't even notice.
In my case, that was all it took. He got it right then and there and doesn't do it in that way anymore. He still scoffs and occationally gets all pissy about something hippie, and I deal with that with information banter and just general sense of what I am doing is right and I will do it with or without him.
The maturity to disagree and still be respectful is hard for men to master sometimes. Hang in there... if he sees what you do and you are strong about it, I think he will come around.
About the Celiac?
We have not been tested. We tested both DS's this winter for food sensitivities. Neither was sensitive to gluten. We also had DS #1's urine checked for peptides, and he does have peptides (meaning improperly digested protiens) for gluten and casein. DD was not tested; she is only 28 months old. Can one be celiac and not be sensitive or allergic to gluten? We have been gluten-free for about 3 weeks.
She had a nasty case of the flu with all of us when she was about a month old, and she had a nasty cough with it, and last winter she was admitted to the hospital with bronchiolitis. Poor baby.
Location: somewhere between complete exhaustion and utter euphoria
Posts: 5,883
Right, you can be celiac and test fine on allergy tests. You can be celiac and test fine on celiac tests. It is a complicated subject. It makes diagnosis hard. A lady on a celiac list I am on tested negative on the celiac panel and the gene test but the biopsy showed massive intestinal damage from celiac.
Because of a celiac's proclivity to pneumonia and Samantha's symptoms were so ambiguous, we chose to have her vaxed for it. She is not vaxed for most stuff but is for it. She is probably far more likely to get tetanus. She goes everywhere barefoot. I did verify that her dose had not themersol. They tried to give her a dose with it and I left telling them when they got a new batch in to let me know. Nurse thought I was nuts.
jody, are your dh and my dh brothers seperated at birth?! my dh has constantly told me, about this website, that i am in collusion, so to speak, with a "fringe" group!!! isn't that hysterical? where's that icon... there it is.
totally off topic again... i thought i read all the replies on the deoderant topic! i know kristerae posted about MOM-- what's up w/ hydrogen peroxide? who posted about it so i can go look up the thread?
thanks!
alycia
p.s. stick to your guns, but also, don't be afraid to fight your battles from the sidelines, so to speak.... i don't lie or keep secrets from dh, but when i was taking her to the chiropractor as a last resort for her constant fluid and ear infections, he knew she was seeing a chiro, but i just didn't tell him when we'd go. i'd take her during the day, when he was at work, and that was it. like, we fought about it initially, and i told him i wanted to try it, despite his skepticism, and then i'd just take her on my own. i'm NOT advocating keeping secrets from dh; i'm just saying that if it's not a big deal, not something major that he'd object to except on principle, then just go ahead and do it-- shop on your own, etc. obviously be respectful of his feelings, but i do try to avoid conflict, if i can, iykwim.
Kbsmama...I feel you! My bf (who I live with) is completely anti anything not composed entirely of artificial crap. Really. Even foods. Most guys prefer homemade to stuff out of a box, but not him. He laughs at my medicinal teas and tinctures and congratulates me when I have broken down and taken real medicine. It's infuriating, especially because I worry that his bad habits are going to bite him in the butt in ther long run and I'm going be widowed early or something. I hope to God he has invincible and stellar genes.
Anyway, he recently had an outbreak of nummular excema on one of his shins. I researched like crazy online to make sure that's what it was and not ringworm, picked him up some pure shea butter and told him I would fix him. He got really critical about my not just buying excema cream at the drugstore and when I tried to explain that there was no need he starting quizzing me on my sources of information. I found myself yelling, "I'm not a doctor, but I'm sure this will work," which of course made me feel like a crock even though I knew I was doing ther right thing. Long story short I'm sure he'll let me use any natural remedies I want in the future because his excema cleared up in days and his coworker who got the same type of outbreak around the same time used over the counter medicated cream and it took a week and a half. Nanananananaaa....
Jody
I'm grumpy for you.
and Sam, 8 
there it is. 
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