I have been lonely for a while. I am not a church person. I am not a soccer mom. I am a liberal feminist in the bible belt. I haven't had friends in a long time. I guess the solitude is getting boring. I just have no idea how to get past the fact if I am not at work, I am at home. I love who I am and my life...maybe I just need something a little bigger.
It's one of the reasons why it has been so hard for me to give up work - it's the only place where I feel a sense of belonging and acceptance among adults.
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Rebecca, wife and mother
Happy Holidays
(and it was the best I could do - I gave it three different photoshoots)
It does get lonely at times. Don't give up, though. Somewhere not too far from you there are probably some like-minded mamas who are feeling the same way. The trick is findind them.
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Thea
wife to Chris since 8-7-99
mom to Louisa May 9-30-2002
and Morganna Rose 6-17-06
I totally hear you. 1 of my closest friends is moving from 30 min away from me to about 2000miles. My other friend is away as well. It stinks but i am thankful for many online message boards like this one where i can "meet" like minded mamas.
P.s. i met my best friend online about 4 years ago on a message board, it was the best thing ever!
__________________ Jill single mama to my Samuel and Carter
Check out my new For Sale Or Trade album. It's a work in progress though.
Location: somewhere between complete exhaustion and utter euphoria
Posts: 5,883
I know the feeling. If not for these boards and a lot of long distance phone calls I think I'd go nuts. My best friend is outside Seattle. My other good friend is in Baton Rouge. I am pagan (in the closet) in an area what you are who you are by what church you belong to. And, the discipline of choice is spanking. Calgon take me away.
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Michelle
-- Mom to Beth, 11 and Sam, 8
I'm sorry, I know it's rough. The ladies in the playgroup are very mainstream, and sometimes it's hard for me to be around them. When they start talking about forcing potty training, spanking, and other things I don't agree with, I tend to become easily upset. I'm *hoping* to meet some other Indiana mamas soon.
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My chilluns and I before the 4th of July fireworks.
I knew there were mamas out there...it is hard finding them! I watched the second Bridget Jones movie and cryed. Not because of the romance...I was jelous she had friends! Gahh!
Are there any LLL groups in your area? Do you have a co-op or natural food store that you could hangout in? Sometimes at NFS and co-ops they have fliers up about events and meetings where other crunchies hangout.
I lived in Ohio most of my life and even there I was able to eventually find some like minded folks, so don't give up!
I can relate to how you feel. my kids were on vacation this week without me and it was sooooo lonely and wierd....my two best friends live hours away. I'll be your friend
I can relate to how you feel. my kids were on vacation this week without me and it was sooooo lonely and wierd....my two best friends live hours away. I'll be your friend
Hey, you can be lonely with a church, and sports. It's really easy.
Now, add colds, sniffles, school volunteering, ear infections, surgery, out of town guests, I see people twice a year, sometimes three times a year.
You are lucky to have the boards.
Now, to find people........you know that made the front page of the Wall Street Journal? Seriously, it did. Moms finding friends, and how hard it is.
Regal Cinemas are having free movies for kids in the summer. Start talking to whoever's next to you.
Find a coffee house, not necessarily Starbucks.
Post a flyer for a playgroup. You can drop out of playgroups that you start.
See if the bookstore will have a reading of Sue Kidd's books---that's sort of a stealth way to find the non- Christians, or the dissatisfied ones.
Do political volunteering, or just show up in the various reps' offices, and ask questions. City council meetings, too. Bring knitting, or something, or kids. Just listen, and say hi to everyone.
There has to be a cable station, and the cable station has community access, probably with classes. If they are free, try 'em. If they are cheap, think about it. Say hi to people.
Take a camera around town, and start taking pictures. People like talking to people who are playing.
Are there museums? Do they have play days? Can you talk to docents, guides, curators?
Is there a meditation group, or a UU church? Even a Friends meeting?
I have been lonely for a while. I am not a church person. I am not a soccer mom. I am a liberal feminist in the bible belt. I haven't had friends in a long time. I guess the solitude is getting boring. I just have no idea how to get past the fact if I am not at work, I am at home. I love who I am and my life...maybe I just need something a little bigger.
You just described a big need in my life. It is something that is really bothering me a great deal lately.
I long for friendships. I'm a really really good friend, however most women hate me on sight. Seriously...they do and I have never figured out why...even my dh saw it when he went to a function for preschool story hour at the public library with me last week. Now he really feels bad for me and understands why I get so upset at being totally shunned before I even get a chance to say "hi".
I do attend a church....but it is a liberal one and it is dying out and only has a handful of very elderly members. I even entertained going to a more conservative (but full of families) church in hopes of finding some kind of female friendship, but I have not been able to bring myself to do that yet becuase of how my views are sooo vastly different from theirs. (from a Biblical standpoint and political standpoint)
I worry that I will go through my life w/out friendships. I'll be 36 in less than two weeks. My children will all be in school this fall. I'm planning on volunteering locally and hope I can make some friends that way.
I really feel the pain and lonliness right along with you. It has been so long for me, that I worry that I'm becoming socially unable to meet people. I am not a shy person, but am becoming that way just due to being burned and rejected so many times. Ok, I sound really lame.
I"m having the same problem. I take a long time to make friends and have recently moved. I think my trouble is compounded by the fact that the only ways I can think to meet other "like minded" parents is through things like LLL and my DD is too old for me to attend LLL. It's compounded by the fact that I had a great group of friends (that took me 6 years to build) in our old place. Sigh, I just keep missing them
I too have tried to make friends. there is one specific lady and her daughter that my DD & I have run into several times (at the library story times, at the grocery store, at the park). DD 7 her daughter are great together and love to play & play nicely to boot. Yet everytime I try to talk to this mom she just stares at me blankly or owrst, walks away! I mean I know I'm not conventional looking, & she may well be a a conservitive christian, (which I"m not) but I've never had problems being friends with people that have strong religious beliefs.
Ahh well, I've got one gal here that I *think* could be a good friend. I'm just scared to mess it up YK. So maybe I'm not doing enough to make it a friendship because I too don't want to get burned.
Chole
__________________ 18th century Mama to a exciting 8yr old, SO to a graphic novel guy
I get this, too, and I see LOTS of people some days. It's just that on a first or even second or third meeting, a new possible friend is more likely to see you as a bad investment. For example, my BEST friend is clearly a shopaholic. That is not at ALL a value I share. But, we've been friends for years and have lots of other things in common, so it seems worth it. OTOH, all of the ladies in the MOMS Club I once belonged to shopped at least as often as my dear friend, and I just decided I did not really want a NEW friend with this particular value conflict.
So, I met two different moms at two different parks today. Both of them are working moms, and I thought, gosh, you sure seem interesting, but our schedules would not really work, so I left the park without exchanging personal info. Also, one of them couldn't figure out where to look while I was nursing the bay. The other one... I don't know, I was probably wrong to not exchange info as her son was great, and she's a teacher so there would be summers...
Anyway, I just think it's harder to make friends the older we get and the more opinionated we get. Then, even when I do make friends, I am often not completely genuine with them for fear of scaring them away. I mean how many mothers in Fort Worth, Texas are going to be accepting of elimination communication and Waldorf and anti consumerism and socialism all from the same person. It's alot to swallow.
and Sam, 8 
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