amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

MotherMoon · 03-01-2004, 11:05 AM

My reply to the garbage post got me thinking - how uncrunchy is the rest of your family. Mine? Pretty uncrunchy, starting with DH. He is fairly crunchy but would never want to be considered that way. He is happy to be an old Southern redneck.

My parents -- Ugh! I considered them somewhat crunchy when I was younger. My mom breastfed us when NO ONE did (early 70s) here. She even made it to 9 months with my sister. But, I see now what crunchy means to me and NO WAY. My mom even takes a drug to help her sleep when dreams get weird. (I love my weird dreams). Basically, my parents' thinking is a doctor is a cure-all and drugs (legal prescriptions) are wonderful. My parents use paper everything. Chemical everything and rely on them heavily. My mom puts like 5 different cleaners in a load of wash. (And they are not vinegar or baking soda). Gardens are heavily fertilized and pesticided. (Is that a word?)

The rest of my family is much the same. Discussions are usually about a new dr or drug, which margerine tastes better and which chemical sugar replacement they should use now.

So, how do I let me kids spend quality time with them without all this rubbing off on them? I hate them hearing about all the latest newest drugs and medical procedures my family loves to gab about.

arasmama · 03-01-2004, 12:59 PM

My dh is fairly crunchy, but you wouldn't know it by looking at him. He's all for how we raise our kids and eating organic, etc BUT if I gave him free reign on how many cars we owned and what kind, oh boy. We'd probably have a full size truck AND an SUV in the driveway, along with the three cars we already own!!

Okay, I digress. My mom is crunchy, eats organic and veggie, uses alternative meds, etc and my dad follows along (although not by choice). My two brother's are sorta crunchy, just because we all live in crunchville. My sister, well, that is another story. Although she does agree with our parenting choices and we've gotten her to start shopping at TJs, she still feeds her family tons of non organic meat and sugar cereals and such. She doesn't mock our choices - expect for my unshaven legs.

Now dh's family - that is a whole other story. I won't even go there. We are not close to them though, so it doesn't matter what they think of our life choices. His sisters we see all the time. Neither have kids so they borrow ours. They would never live our lifestyle, but they respect it when they have our kids and follow our rules with them. Let's just say that Ara learned the word "gucci" from them.

Kbsmama · 03-01-2004, 01:09 PM

DH comes from an AP family. He is one of 8 kids. His mom has been a LLL leader for over 30 years. Since about kiddo number 3, (DH was #2), they have family bedded and done extended breastfeeding. They used cloth diapers (some diaper service). The middle two were partially homeshooled, and the last three were entirely homeschooled. The youngest two have limited vaccines, and the youngest (now 16) has none. They fought hospital administrations to have their family (not just dad) in the delivery room. They profess gentle discipline. When #4 was extremely hyper, they made everything from scratch and whole foods.

NOW, with that said, these days, they eat a lot of junk, just 'cause it's easy. They seem to have discovered the wonderful world of pharmecuticals, opting for cholesterol-reducing meds and anti-depressants instead of better diet and counseling (if I seem harsh, there's more to the story)....
DH is anti-homeschooling because of the way his brothers and sisters were homeschooled. He won't even consider it as an option. He believes in extended nursing and attached parenting, goes along, usually without complaint, with the family bed, goes along with no vaccines because I have done the research and he has not. Goes along with my cooking from scratch, but refuses to eat beans or whole grain anything. While he is very good with the kids, when discipline is involved (not saying I do a great job either, but anyway), I see him shaming and scaring the kids (by yelling). He tells me that's how he was disciplined. Only one of Ben's sibs has kids so far, and while they practice attachment parenting, they are far from crunchy: I'm not sure his younger sis on the verge of a family will even AP. All of them are very into status; probably a result of being poor when everyone else in their extended family was wealthy.

My parents raised us in a very sustainable-living kind of fashion. We lived on a farm. Mom cooked from scratch. We had gardens and meat they butchered themselves, eggs, one year we had goat milk fresh from the goat. My dad fixed everything and built everything himself. He tends to be very anti-establishment in his thinking,while still being very much a conservative..

When I was a junior in hs, dad graduated from law school. When I went to college, my mom also returned and got her art ed. degree. About the time I went to college, my parents stopped saying I should find what makes me happy and started suggesting maybe I should seek out what would earn the most money....they still grow a tremendous garden most years and talk about raising some chickens or beef foir meat, but that probably won't happen because it will interfere with sailing in the summer, about the only thing they are passionate about (including each other. So, in retrospect, I feel like most of the crunchy stuff happened because 1. we were poor. 2. my dad is a perfectionist, and thus, would prefer to do stuff himself.

My dad talks a lot about how crappy the system is, etc., but it doesn't really seem to affect his lifestyle--I think he just likes to b*tch...I have 3 sibs, my sister closest in age is basically my opposite, definitely not crunchy. My brother is probably the closest to cunchy, though I don't see or talk to him much for no good reason,so I don't know. My little sis is only 21 and finishing college. The jury is out on her.

So, we have a real mixed bag. I've gotta go,

Megmama · 03-01-2004, 02:34 PM

This is interesting...my family is mostly totally uncrunchy..my father will brag about being a redneck..my mother is the most biased person I've ever met. When I was younger, however, it was different..Mom was into Wicca, crafting, art, etc. I guess that was her 70s thing, because boy has she swung the other way. When I up and moved to California to marry Tom, my mother decided I was no good and quit talking to me.

I have to say, my stepsister is about as crunchy as I am, though she has no children yet, and we both eat meat (it's a type O thing). I, personally, get crunchier by the minute, I think it's a reaction to moving to GA, really.

Now, DH, is an environmental scientist and he is the one who got me to be more crunchy, and he fully supports everything I do. The worst thing I can say about him is he is lazy and would rather I do all the hard stuff like composting, gardening, etc..but if I ask him (bug him) he will help and give me useful tips. He loves having a creek out back and will go on and on about the watershed (he's a hydrologist who studies/designs watersheds) but he can't remember that we have to do the dishes LOL. His family is very sweet and well-intended but i think they see us as the california weirdos a bit. Tom's mother is very open minded and creative and loving...his father is very absent minded X-philosophy professor from a small college. They both went to one of the most interesting colleges in the US (St. John's in Annapolis, MD, where one studies the classics). I love them, because they do not question me or give me unsolicited advice, ever. That can be the best kind of support, IMO.

MotherMoon · 03-01-2004, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Megmama
thing). I, personally, get crunchier by the minute, I think it's a reaction to moving to GA, really.

Okay, how is moving from CA to GA crunchy? I live in Alabama and this has got to be about the most uncrunchy place -- the SouthEast as a whole. What part of GA did you move to? I wish I could get folks here to even consider crunchy. The only reason organic is getting to be available as it is the "In" thing for the yuppies. But then so is HUGE SUVs.

Megmama · 03-01-2004, 06:11 PM

Michelle:

What I meant was..it's SO uncrunchy here, my reaction to it is to become MORE crunchy than I ever was. This may have happened normally in California for all I know, but being in serious non crunchy land, I had to do something. I swear no one here has even heard of hybrid cars or getting good mileage...or having more land and less house..I know the looks I get at the mall publicly breastfeeding a toddler are interesting..and today I got tons of stares wearing my son in a maya wrap at the library...but someone has to be the one with the new ideas or no one will know about them!! There IS a great group of GA amity mamas, though..so I'm not the first, nor the last, crunchy mama in georgia LOL

Meg...baby wearing, attached mom..cloth diapering, cloth pad wearin', composting and gardening, etc etc...

sweetladyaz · 03-01-2004, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mpeel
My reply to the garbage post got me thinking - how uncrunchy is the rest of your family. Mine? Pretty uncrunchy, starting with DH. He is fairly crunchy but would never want to be considered that way. He is happy to be an old Southern redneck.

That is SO my dh. He likes to drink organic milk, eat realy butter, and have fresh whole foods...lol, but doesn't want to pay the high prices, so he buys regular processed stuff. He drinks coke like it's going out of style TOMORROW...lol.

And he is Mr.Bleach. Smelly feet? bleach bath. washing laundry? bleach. cleaning the bathroom? bleach. changing the cat box? rinse and bleach....ugh!

I try not to buy bleach, he's very anit-recyle anything. And he says i'm a hippie....lol.

But at least usually i do the shopping and can buy what i want and get him to eat right.

I'll work on the rest of him slowly, hee hee

mama_frog · 03-01-2004, 07:21 PM

My dh is pretty accepting of whatever I choose. He'll go along, even if he'd never have thought of the idea on his own. So he's crunchy by default, lol. He tends to be very conscious of our impact on a grand scale, whereas I'm paying more attention on a daily basis to our consumption within the boundaries of our house and property.

I wouldn't term my parents crunchy, but they are definitely environmentally very aware (recycling, water consumption, tread lightly on the earth, all that type of stuff). They are also very thrifty, so they love to refurbish old, thrown away items. Great resource for me, I'm learning a ton about "do-it-yourself" techniques.

MIL is pretty much the opposite. She buys something new every time she goes out, gets really sucked in by the marketing techniques that companies use, and ends up with a ton of stuff she doesn't need. Her views about the environment correspond mainly to how new legislation affects HER, and whether it inconveniences her. I love her, she's a great lady, but man, don't ever get me into a discussion with her about driving to work vs transit, lol.

KD · 03-03-2004, 12:19 AM

Hmm..

My Dh is semi-crunchy but I know if we never got together or if we were no longer together he would buy scrubbing bubbles the second I was gone! LOL! He tries really hard but I think most of it is for me... Just got him to use crystals instead of deodorant and Burts bees shaving round instead of can stuff... He likes those so I think he would keep them! LOL!

My parents are semi-crunchy. They really try the more they learn. My dad came home one night about 16 years ago and told my mother he was a vegetarian! LOL! She told him he could then cook for himself! LOL! Up until that point we ate meat 5+ times week

Dad changed all that even though my mother resisted! LOL! He is still vegetarian, hemp seed eating, no leather wearing man! LOL! Mom became a semi vegetarian a few years ago.

My siblings are not crunchy and my sister calls me a Quaker (????) and loves her Clorox pen! LOL! My brother is convinced organic produce will give you cancer! ROTFLOL! He said one day he will prove it!

DH's folks? Umm.... so uncrunchy! FIL is SO BAD he puts us down for recycling!!

grisandole · 03-03-2004, 03:15 PM

Dh is from the midwest, and was pretty much the typcial, mainstream midwestern boy when I met him. But, he was open minded, and is now crunchy like me! LOL! Sometimes he surprised me; he was adamant about breastfeeding, and very pro-extended nursing. He didn't want a homebirth, but was comfy with it about halfway through my pregnancy, and is now a homebirth advocate

He probably would've vaxed ds2 if it were up to him, but I did the research and he supports not vaxing. He would've circed due to societal/family pressures, and it did bother him for a while that ds2 isn't circed, but not anymore, and I think that he is becoming an "intactivist" slowly but surely. He would happily use paper towels and napkins if I let him. When we started dating he and his roommate ONLY used paper plates and plastic utensils so they wouldn't have to do dishes!!!!

My family is far from crunchy. Though, my grandmother has a healthy disrespect of doctors and is into some alternative medicine. So is my mother.

Dh's family is also as far from crunchy as you can get.

Kristi

mamabear · 03-03-2004, 03:42 PM

My dh is at least as crunchy as I am. We both have our strong and weak areas, though, and those are different.

My mom has come a long way...she now calls me to ask what alternative stuff she can take for this or that. She never could handle the unshaven legs, though. And she still is not very crunchy - loves her paper plates, paper cups, and paper towels and buys Redbook and LHJ to read when she's here. When my family visits my trash quadruples! They just make so much trash, so much wasted paper products....it's gross.