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I grew up as a 'pk' in a non-denominational bible church where that way was the only way there is. I stayed strictly with it till about 5 years ago when I started reading about witchcraft and paganism. Well, actually I first began reading about greenwitch craft in college. I would stand in the book store and read books on it hoping no one I knew saw me. It really called to me, but I was in no way ready to change. Anyhow, I began studying paganism, but I still couldn't give up christianity because of that well instilled sense of guilt. But it still was making a lot of since to me and wanted to incorporate many of the practices into my personal christian practice. i changed what I thought of myself as several times to include things like christian witch or christo-pagan, green witch, and kitchen witch, all the while still going to the same type of church I grew up in and taking my kids too.
Right now i still enjoy learning about those kind of things and have even begun studying asatru, but as much as I like learning about it, I no longer feel a need for any kind of formalized ritual that is involved in pagan or heathen religions.
Once not too long ago I went to an unprogrammed quaker meeting. That was really interesting and I kind of enjoyed it, my kids hated it tho. I've tried to find a UU church, but there is not one in this area.
I'm still taking my kids to church, but I no longer believe in Christianity the way I used to. I've just learned to much to be able to feel the way I once did. Sometimes I think we would quit going all together, but there's the whole guilt thing that still rears it's ugly head, and the kids would miss that sense of community. They really enjoy going to church. But you know, there are things the kids are taught at church, the same things I was always taught and never had a problem with before, that now when I hear just makes me cringe. And I think what am I teaching these kids?
Anyhow, I don't know where the next path on this journey will take me. I'm still waiting to find the one that says this is it! this is where you belong!
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