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Advice on applying to christian seminaries (x-post)
SOme of you might know that I have decided to go back to school. Originally my plan was to take my PhD in Philosphy because the school I would be attending doesn't have a graduate religion program.
A few days ago, on a wild hair, I started looking into the local seminaries. Both the Presbyterian and the Episcopalian seminaries have very promising programs. They both offer a lay track (for those with no intention of becoming ordained clergy) and the courses they offer range the gamut--everytrhing from church history to feminist thelogy to wilderness and spirituality to studies in fundamentalism. Reading over the various courses I felt this light go off in my head and something in my heart was shouting with joy.
The problem that I face is, of course, that I am not a Christian, have no intention of becoming a Christian, and the chances of my ever coming to accept Jesus Christ as divine are awfully slim. That said, however, most of you know I feel very drawn toward a devoted service to God through my writing and through my personal ministry and interfaith dialogue. I am sympathetic to the mission of the Christian church as far as faith devlopment goes and as far as encouraing people to foster their relationship with God. So while i am not a Christian, I very much feel the need to answer this call to udnerstand the culture of Christianity and to offer an Abrahamic-inspired vision of God to those who have been shunned by the church or otherwise have not felt fulfilled within mainstream Christianity. And that isn't something I could do in just any academic institution. In order to understand the culture of Christianity (which is, of course, largely the culture of spiritual America) I need to be able to do that with actual Christians and actual people of faith, not merely professors pontificating abstractly from on high.
I don't merely want to learn about God. I want to further my knowledge of God. I want to know God here, now, in this moment. To be in the presence of God and to guide others to that same place.
I guess my question is, knowing this and knowing what you know of me, would it be disningenuous of me to apply to seminary? Would I be unwelcome? Would it be improper? I don't have a good grasp of the situation and I feel extremely conflicted abotu the whole thing. Obviously if someone were to flat out ask me if I were a CHristian, I wouldn't lie. But if no one asks, should I come out and say that? Or is it enough to say basically what i've said here as far as my commitment to God and to God's kingdom on Earth? Is it enough to be committed to the goals of the church as far as ethics and relationship with God go, without acepting JEsus as fully God?
All thoughts welcome. I'm having such a hard time with this.
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