amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

folkymom · 03-09-2005, 06:03 PM

My dh's LDS cousin is getting married in a couple of weeks; we just got the announcement the other day. This seems rather quick, and we are wondering if it's an LDS thing to "just do it" instead of going through all the expensive rigamarole most people do? Also, we weren't invited to the actual wedding, but to the reception which is the next day - are LDS wedding ceremonies for LDS only?

Any other general LDS-positive-specific info we might need to know about any of this? We like to be as informed and respectful as possible.

Thanks for any help! I know there are a lot of helpful LDS mamas here!

miahswife · 03-09-2005, 06:11 PM

If they are getting married in the Temple then, yes it is just for LDS members that have previously been to the temple and are worthy to go back.

Temple weddings generally happen quickly because there is very little rigamaroll associated with the ceremony. No decorations etc for the actual wedding. So they usually have the reception for the rest of friends/family who couldn't attend the actual ceremony. I have never been to a reception that is over the top either but I am sure there are some.

HTH. Please ask if you have any more questions. I am sure that others will be more indepth. I am nak right now

folkymom · 03-09-2005, 08:49 PM

Thanks so much for the reply! That is much as I suspected, but I'm glad to know for sure.

I appreciate you taking the time to nak a response.

fericito · 03-10-2005, 02:01 PM

I'm here and just wanted to second that.

We had a nice, outdoor reception and a little ring ceremony since dh's family isn't LDS and couldn't see the actual wedding ceremony.

It wasn't that we didn't want them there, but we wanted to have our wedding in the temple and only members can go inside.

Tell us about the wedding afterwards, I'd be interested to hear your take on it

Momof6 · 03-11-2005, 01:12 PM

Kelli,

Have fun and go to the reception! I think you could take a gift for the couple like any wedding recption. Find out if it is a pot-luck reception.....I found many LDS wedding receptions are this format. (and ask what you can bring)

Yes, only LDS members with current Temple recommends can go to the wedding. (assuming it is in the Temple) It is just the way it is.

We just got a invitation in the mail this past week for a LDS wedding reception.

I honestly don't think you need to know anything etiquette wise that is different than any other wedding reception...except don't smoke (if you or dh do) and don't bring or expect any spirits or coffee to be served.

Have fun!!

Michelle

hadalamb · 03-14-2005, 12:26 PM

Well I'm sort of surprised this hasn't been mentioned yet, but the reason LDS weddings are so quick (ie: short engagements) is b/c the religion dictates no premarital sexual activity of any kind. Long engagements just aren't possible.

There are no dictates for it to be a short engagement, but it would just be stupid if the goal is to be sexually chaste and stay in good standing w/the church.

fericito · 03-15-2005, 04:00 PM

have to say that since dh and I were engaged for six months, the only thing that allowed us to still be able to go to the temple was the fact that we only saw each other twice a month during that time!! LOL - you're right Mary, that's a BIG part of it!!!!

Lydiasmomma · 03-16-2005, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hadalamb

Well I'm sort of surprised this hasn't been mentioned yet, but the reason LDS weddings are so quick (ie: short engagements) is b/c the religion dictates no premarital sexual activity of any kind. Long engagements just aren't possible.

There are no dictates for it to be a short engagement, but it would just be stupid if the goal is to be sexually chaste and stay in good standing w/the church.

We're not LDS, but I always have to laugh when I hear people say stuff like that. DH and I dated for 4 years before we got engaged, then it was another year until our wedding. We were both virgins when we got married. Maybe that's why Mormons are more evil than Mennonites... you're hornier.

jessica_momof7 · 03-20-2005, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lydiasmomma

We're not LDS, but I always have to laugh when I hear people say stuff like that. DH and I dated for 4 years before we got engaged, then it was another year until our wedding. We were both virgins when we got married. Maybe that's why Mormons are more evil than Mennonites... you're hornier.

not only is it the premarital sex being taboo, but LDS people see no reason to wait since they have prayed and know they are marrying the right person-so why wait you know?

I was engaged to dh for 9 months.

And we also had a ring ceremony that included my step father walking me down the aisle and everything a non-temple ceremony would have had. it was very cool and special for my family.

i've never seen a potluck at a reception-but there won't be any alcohol!

Other than that, I don't think there is anything you need to worry about

let us know how it goes

Kerri · 03-20-2005, 11:53 PM

It's just a cultural thing too. I grew up in New Zealand and the LDS weddings there were a much bigger deal than they are here (US and Canada). We still had temple weddings there, but the receptions were more formal. Here it seems like quick engagements and low-key receptions in the church cultural hall (basketball court) are normal. Either way, gifts are normal, alcohol/smoking/coffee aren't if it's held at a church building.

We had a temple wedding with about 25 people present, then a reception for 100 with a dinner/dance at a hotel. We didn't have a bar because no-one in our families drinks, but because it was a hotel, if people wanted to buy their own drinks in other parts of the place that was okay. Then we had the standard "calling reception" which is just a meet-the-family receiving line with pie and punch in my husband's home town the following weekend. Which seems really weird to me, but that's how they do it in Mormon towns it seems. His Mum just put the invitation in the local paper and anyone who knew us or wanted to come just showed up. So casual! LOL.

Kerri