My 2 cents. I'm not the mom of a teen. I'm the sister of a picky teen who is high maintanence and sister 2 additional high maintance sisters. I just wanted to chime in with some of my thoughts based on what you are saying.
1- have you checked out the "perfect tee" from Old Navy? They are a little longer. They also make a "perfect tank" They are not that pricy and if they work you could easily knock off a pattern to make from your own fabric. And if they are close but not quite perfect then it is easy to do slight alterations, espeically if it is just adding length. And my guess is at 5'9" (I wanted to be 5'9" so bad but I topped out at 5'7") she may always need added length so this is a good time to start learing to sew.
2- keep her as involved in the process as you can. I was a 12 yo who was 5'7" 140 who wore a 34C as my first bra. It is tough to be 12 especially when you look anything but 12 and nothing fits you like it does the rest of the girls kwim? Find out what she would like to be wearing (it sounds like you've done that already) and don't buy fabric without her ok. Ok, I was a supper picky 12+ but it really makes a difference. Because even if something was just a "muslin" if I didn't like the way it looked you wouldn't have stood a chance at getting me to try one on again.
3- I'd start by taking her favorite shirt, that may be a little too short, and draft a pattern from it. Even if you take an recycled shirt in a larger size (think something unique from the Thrift Store) and cut it down so it fits the pattern the look she wants.
I've got a Water Polo T in a men's XL that I've been meaning to cut down so it fits my size 18/20 curves without looking like a sax on me like it does now. Point is that, in my opinion, you have the opportunity to make this fun for the both of you. Have you see some of the recycled stuff from Craftster.org ? Some of it will be too old for your dd but depending on lengths and stuff she could really be inspired to work with you.
4- When making things for my sisters I've had the most sucess with taking fav items of theirs and traceing them and making something else just like it or super close. It is tough to "guess" what they will like so unless I *know* a specific print/pattern will work I have to consent that I'm making something for my own pleasure and if they happen to actually want to wear it then it is a bonus.
5-One more thought on the too short shirt thing. Maybe do and added layer so it is almost a layered look at the bottom hem. kwim? It does depend on how your dd is built as to how you'll want that handled.
I don't know. I'm just brainstorming out loud for you. My kids are in ChickenPox lock down so I'm going a little stir crazy and we are only on day 2.
waiting for us keeps me from preventing...
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