OT: Spin off of the "clean house" thread..

[Marion]

Do you allow the kids to play in your room?
I was thinking about this this morning. I don't really encourage the kids to "play" in my bedroom. But as soon as they step out of bed at 630, they come straight into my bed and spend at least an hour in there "waking up".

When they finally get up and moving, the do move into the playroom or their own rooms but I end up tripping over PILES of toys in my room. If you looked under my bed right now, you'd probably find at least 2 Blue's Clues notebooks, a Kim Possible doll and about a billion polly pocket pieces. I can't tell you how many dora dolls or shrek figures I find in my bed when I finally go to make it in the mornings.

I try my best to keep their "things" out of my room but I never manage to do it. I'm not one of those "Pick it up or it's going in the trash" kind of moms because I normally can't bring myself to pitch their Pixter or other $$$ toys.

Also, the kids love bathing in MY bathtub. It's open and pretty big so they prefer it to their traditional tub/shower in their bathroom. So I end up getting Incredibles and various dolls out of my tub every morning (dh bathes them each night). I've already lost my mind with DH and asked him to start bathing them in their bathroom. (I mean, c'mon! They have their own bathroom. There's even one downstairs yet they want to do everything in MY bathroom)

I'm fed up! I don't want to ban them from my room but I need some sort of plan to keep them from destroying *my* space. They do have THREE other rooms in the house that are pretty much theirs.



So, do you allow toys/books/games in your bedroom or do you keep them out?

[Scarlet]

Yeah, I don't encourage them to play in here, I tell them that the family room is for toys, but they drag them in here anyway.

BTW tip on the toy front. It only takes one or two actual throwings away/giving to charity to make your point. I've done it when it is something that I don't actually want and have (painfully) stood on at least once.

[Niri]

Well, my room is also the baby's room so she has her basket of toys in it and her clothes, diapers, etc. But the two bigger kids do play in my room a lot and I don't really mind unless they have friends over and then I close the door and ask them not to play there. They are required to clean up their stuff off of my floor a couple times a day though so that it can be neat in my bedroom so I can keep my sanity.

Also, about throwing things away tha they won't clean up. I don't throw things away (though they sometimes disappear ) but I do tell the kids that if I have to clean their toys up than I am going to put them away for a while because they are telling me that they can't take care of their belongings. So I take them and put them in my closet for a week or so and that's usually all it takes.

[Scarlet]

Oh to add, my friend has a system, she has a bucket on a high shelf in the garage. If her kids don't pick up the toys go in the bucket. They come down if her kids are sick or on Christmas Eve.

[countrycuttins]

Although I really don't like the kids "hanging out" in my room, it still happens. I often find my older kids, chillin' on the bed watching TV all snuggly with my down comforter. It's not like we don't have other TV's in the house, cause we do. They just like being in there. I often thought, maybe I will go hang out in their bedrooms, and see what they think about that, LOL! Anyway, my younger kids don't play in there, unless they sneak in. I guess I have harped way to many times about them playing in my bedroom Mostly they want to use my bed at a trampoline or a wrestling ring (I have boys!) Daddy used to encourage them to play rough on the bed, I really try to discourage it. My kids do have several other rooms with toys, and I want my room to be mine, for my own sanity!

[Niri]

I wanted to add that part of why I let my kids play in my room or watch TV in there all cozy is because some of the nicest memories I have of growing up is reading and talking and hanging out with my parents in their bedroom. Even now, some of our best talks when I go for a visit are on their bed. I would love to create similar warm and fuzzy memories for my kids.

[Shari]

I do let my kids play in my bedroom because that's also where my sewing area is. A few toys in my bedroom is a small price to pay for a little sewing time. Although, I don't let the toys live in my room. After I'm done sewing/their done playing we all clean up our messes...or at least I try to stick to that idea.

[jacNal'smom]

Everything we own is crammed into about 1/2 of our living space. The t.v. is in our room temporarily and honestly there is so much going on in my life right now that they get to watch a little t.v. They seem to drag half of what they own in there since they are watching t.v. in there. Also, the rest of my house has areas that have construction stuff everywhere-even the living areas- and I don't want them messing with that.

Normally, no. We don't usually have a t.v. in there and I rarely am in there myself unless I'm reading or sleeping. They have been known to play on the bed, but honestly, it's just that interesting for them in there.

My goal is to get all of these projects finished up and reclaim my house. I'd like to be a minimalist with my room. I don't really need much in there and it just ends up getting waaayyy cluttered if I try to keep stuff in there. Dh has a very stressful job and I would like to create a nice, clutter-free, quiet space that is sort of "adult only"...so he has somewhere he can relax without a kid sitting on his head or whatever.

I'm having a room put in the basement just for the t.v. I grew up with the t.v. always on and for the first half of our marriage we were in the military and always lived in smaller places that pretty much required the t.v. to be in the main living space. Since we've lived in our current house (6 years) we've rarely had a t.v. on the main floor and I love how quiet it is. Dh has this huge (to me) t.v. and it must have it's own room for my sanity. The kids won't really go in there, either, unless we are watching something as a family. Which is pretty rare.

Sorry, I think I went on a tangent. I do think it's important for adults to have their own spaces within the house. I don't think the kids should be exclusively banned from those areas, but I think they should be taught to approach those areas as if they were "visiting" or something. That may not be the right word I'm looking for. I guess I think everyone should have their own spaces that are just "theirs". (Even if it's something as small as a shelf or a drawer or something) I don't go in DD's room and rifle through her things and play with her stuff, etc... (O.K...so I sort of do sometimes when she's at school and I can't stand it any longer. She has packrat tendencies.) I ask her if I can come in her room when she is in there. I don't just barge in. You get the picture. Now, they are free to come in and out as much as they like. If they want to lay in bed with me, that's fine too. I just think they need to know that's my area and they should respect it as such.

[Jennbenr]

Nope! Im of the beleive that the bedroom I share with my husband is our sanctuary; our private, special place. Sounds a little kooky, I know, but thats where our limit is.

Thats not to say that we didnt co-sleep when the children were infants (especially with a child who wanted to BF once an hour ), but once they were sleeping all night they went to thier own rooms. The kids are allowed to come in and snuggle with DH and/or I on weekend mornings or when they arent feeling well - that kind of thing. Its not totally restricted space, but they do know that its not a playground and when Mommy says its time to go, its time.

[rjeast]

I do let mine (to an extent). My parents rarely allowed us in their room and even to this day (I am 29) I still feel uncomfortable going in their room. My Dad died 2 years ago and when my Mom asked me to sleep with her in her bed that first night so she wasnt alone it felt really weird.

So, I have decided that my kids are definitely allowed in my room. They dont play in there so to say though. We do read bedtime stories in there so there are alot of books. The only toys that usually find their way to my room are ride on toys that Tevin has ridden down there and maybe a few cars that he has brought in there too. We cosleep so he feels that is his room. The boys do use my bed nightly as a wrestling ring and the 2 little ones jump on it nightly. Its kinda like a routine. The bigger boys wrestle with their dad while I am in the bath with the little ones and then when I get out the big kids get kicked out and the 2 little ones jump on the bed for a few minutes. After that we read stories and everyone heads off to their beds (except Tevin since he sleeps with us).

[Nutmeg]

Not really. We allow them in the bed and sometimes watch a movie together, but not playing. We have self defense items in there and although they are locked up I don't want them finding or using them Plus I need some mommy/daddy space.