Thanks everyone. *sniff*
Looking at it again, I'm not sure and it might just be the yoke that is all wacky. I'll try to take pictures tomorrow.
The sweater is from Elizabeth Zimmerman's Knitter's Almanac. It's December's project, the Wishbone aka Hurry Up Last Minute sweater. The yarn is knitted at 2.5 sts/in. I made it the same as hers, 46" around the outside. I measured dh's shirts - he usually wears a size L shirt 38/40 and his chest is around 41" or so around, but it's a very very thick sweater and I thought it should have some ease. It might be too thick a yarn to have some ease.
But the thing is, if you scrunch up the yoke, it looks like it might fit okay. That's how I got almost to the end and found it humungous - you knit the body and sleeves from the bottom up in the round and then join them on one needle and knit the yoke to the neck. I'm wondering if the pattern should be to decrease 4 sts every row not every other - though it clearly says every other row in two places in the pattern (she writes it out in the chapter, and then has "pithy directions" and both say dec 4 sts every other row). The yoke is what becomes huge...it seriously would fit a 275 lb football player, and dh is not *skinny* at all - he's nearly 6 ft and a good 205 at the moment.
It's just going to take a few days of it sitting there for me to get up the nerve to rip the yoke and try it again. Trying to think Zen about it, process not product, but darnit, I SO wanted to have a finished product!!
I'm going to go upstairs and knit on my hoodie instead.

Of course I am hoping against hope that it won't come out too *small*! Ack! If it does I might just sell it, LOL.