The Next Phase of WomanhoodAre you a curious what the next phase of life will be like, or are you already there? This forum will be for discussion of the Crone phase of life, filled with wisdom and new challenges. Come in and talk about your experiences and fears, your joys and hopes.
Location: True health flows from loving relationships, good food, time spent in nature, daily hugs, inner work, meaningful work and breathing thankfully for the richness of this life.-Kate Gilday
Posts: 22,916
Sex Hurts....This really sucks
My keyboard is misehaving today so I wont elaborate, except to say that it is terribly uncomfortable right now. I am hoping that t is due tomy absense from dh for 2 weeks when I wentto grandpa's funeral.
I am supposed to either have sex or use a dilator 3 times per week after radiation so I dont close up, but I did not take the thing along....
I hope that is why, but I am getting more nervous each time we come together.
And dh wont climax is he senses he is hurting me.....
I wish I had some advice for you, but I only have a sympathetic hug.
Would I come off seeming abnoxious, if I were to say for you to try and relax? I can only imagine that your less than ideal experiences are causing a bit of tension for both of you. I know that you know this, but be sure to use a healing lube, even in between your times together. Are the two of you giving yourselves enough time? You don't have to answer that, but I just wanted to toss it out there and encourage you to do so, if you aren't already.
Location: In the Land of Golden Warmth, Surrounded by Majestic Mountains, Inspired by Desert and Ocean, Cocooned in Love
Posts: 2,780
I'm so sorry. Keep at it with the dilator until you feel more comfortable. Can you use estrogen cream (not everyone with cancer can use it)? It would be a really good idea if you can. I can't stress enough how important it is to do everything you can now, before your vagina gets so inelastic that penetration becomes impossible.
I haven't had my hyster yet, but have had years of painful intercourse. I know that the more I anticipate the pain the more likely it is to be there, because I just can't open fully when I am anxious. For us, success breeds success. These days I need far more foreplay than I used to and (TMI) have to start slowly and missionary style for the first few minutes until I finish opening.
((((Hugs)))) and thank you for being willing to talk about this. Losing sexual function is my biggest fear when it comes to my hyster.
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Peace,
Kimberly...walking my path; loving, living and learning with an amazing man and two incredible boys.
Talk about adding insult to injury! What a complete bummer. I wouldn't even TRY for several months after my hyst, so I don't have any advice. Just (((((HUGS)))))
Location: True health flows from loving relationships, good food, time spent in nature, daily hugs, inner work, meaningful work and breathing thankfully for the richness of this life.-Kate Gilday
Posts: 22,916
Ya know, post hyster I was fine but post radiation was more challenging. After my 2 weeks trip when I went to grandpa's memorial and helped the family that extra week, is when it was really painful. I guess going 2 weeks is not wise! But I had no idea I would feel only 2 inches deep and feel things so intensely I can feel my dh when he ejaculates. I mean every swelling or what have you is felt so completely. It is bizarre.
Relax, CL, indeed. Things have been so off the wall for our family. Trips are never taken and I am on my thrid one in a months time. I am tired....but probably not relaxed. Thanks for sharing and listening
I wish I had some advice for you, but I only have a sympathetic hug. 
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