amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

organicmama · 09-06-2006, 10:28 PM

i think I understand why women often break up with their husbands when they are menopausal.

Your body doesn't crave sex like it use to.

And the kids are usually grown up pretty good by then so desired freedom comes along with that

Some of us can get way too cranky and don't really want to be around people, esp a cranky or lazy dh.

You can't sleep in the same bed anyway most of the time because you can't sleep well at night anymore. Up and down or too hot all night.

It is almost like you think, why stay married when my purpose is complete?

Or am I just a black widow type of gal

I bet I could come up with a handful of other reasons. How bout you, mama's.

Do you get a wee bit frustrated with your mates at this crossroad of your life?

Covert_Lily · 09-06-2006, 10:58 PM

Yes, I do feel that same frustration. My only saving grace is that we have a king sized bed, so I can toss and turn as many times as necessary, while dh is happily sleeping on his side of the bed.

I did feel like escaping a year to two years ago, but found something that I really wanted to do and did it. It wasn't easy studying the passion of my life, while still maintaining a household and family, but I NEEDED that release for *ME*, and noone else. I've come through to the other side now and that passion has since been satiated. It was time well spent for later on down the road, when the true empty nest comes my way. I hope that my nest is never truly empty, so I'm talking more along the lines of there no longer being anymore babies and young children to tend to.

Maybe you need a change of gears in your life right now. Anything peaking your interest?

organicmama · 09-07-2006, 12:59 PM

Well of course studies and a possible part time job. I did apply places a couple weeks ago and realized I was moving to fast for myself. I need to wait until i am healed completely because every few days I crash. Just adjustments in hormone and healing I think. Saw my rad/onc and he agrees.

I am focusing on music alot. Just downloading stuff...lol but it has been pleasurable.

One of my problems is I shut down when there is too much noise around.

I may listen to music, then the kids get home and they want a snack and livi needs my help and Ben fell down outside, the phone rings 3 times during this and the doorbell rings once while someone turns on the tv. At that point, my brain cannot handle all the noise and busyness and I shut down.

That is my biggest problem...keeping it all together. This has been amplified since my treatment becuase I used to deal with this with no problems.

So outlets...not yet, but soon I hope.

freedomlover · 09-10-2006, 09:56 PM

I think women break up with their husbands around menopause more often because the man is becoming a man in crisis over his life and/or women don't want to put up with less than ideal marriages anymore.

Some women crave sex more in menopause (from what I've heard) and some less.

I imagine that the swift onset caused by surgical menopause probably is much rougher!

organicmama · 09-10-2006, 10:49 PM

I know...I never could understand until I was here in that place.

My hubby is really a reat guy tho. And he loves me enough to tolerate me.