amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

stampinblue · 09-08-2004, 04:19 PM

There are never any threads here. Am I the only one who was physically unable to do it?!? I am not feeling very encouraged. In fact now I feel guilty and depressed. I tried it all, I swear. We pumped and nursed and took herbs and drank tea and went to a lactation consultant and even went on meds you have to import from Canada. I ate oatmeal and peanuts and everything else my lactation consultant suggested. All for a lousy 4-8 ounces of milk a day which totally dried up after I went off the meds. So much frustration and rejection. It feels good to write it down even if no one is listening.

mamasky · 09-09-2004, 09:24 AM

Skylar was early and I think his 3 week stay in the nicu killed any hopes of a good nursing relationship. I was able to pump for about 3 months before the stress from my horrible relationship ruined that too. I'm still sad that I never got to have that experience with my Skylar but I'm determined, no matter what happens, that I nurse this baby.
Nope you're not alone...every once in a while people will pop into this forum.
much love
-Lindsey

Robin · 09-09-2004, 12:50 PM

I have been able to bf all three of my boys, but with my oldest, I had to pump for over 3 1/2 months before he ever latched on. I think there are quite a few mamas here who have had some sort of problem bf and there are several who were never able to at all. This forum is just a little slow lately.

stampinblue · 09-09-2004, 04:40 PM

Thanks! It is good to know I am not alone. I have PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome which has been disturbing my hormones since puberty. As a result, my body did not produce enough mammary glands in puberty to make enough milk. Also, my hormones don't signal my body to make enough milk. It was such an awful struggle for me after such an awful birth experience (see my thread in the super crunch forum). I have a lot of healing to do.

shandrath · 09-10-2004, 02:41 AM

I was able to exclusively breast feed my first two. I produce milk like a cow. But my new little baby cannot nurse. I struggle with my milk supply because my body wants to feed a baby not a machine. Some days I produce a days worth of milk in one pumping. Others I pray I will have enough to avoid supplementing. His cleft palate will be fixed around one year but by then he will be beyond nursing and I may have given up on pumping.

I still don't know how to do all this nor how to survive it.

Shannon

branwyn · 09-18-2004, 04:34 PM

i am no longer able to bf sarah (she will be 4 weeks on monday), i also have PCOS and had supply issues but i also have hemochromatosis (as does sarah) so what little i made was started to make her vomit and have blisters all over her body. i have been scared to admit, on this board, that i stopped bfing last week and have gone to exclusively ffing for fear of being raked over the coals. i cant tell you how happy i am to see i have a new friend in this forum.

GranolaMomma · 09-18-2004, 05:32 PM

branwyn, I just wanted to say that you did what was best for both you and that cutie pie Sarah. And if a mama can't understand that then too **** bad for them. You did what was right for you and I support you for that!!

Robin · 09-18-2004, 06:10 PM

I just want to say to all of you that you have to make the best choices you can with your children.

I know for many bf advocates on this board and others, it is hard because they are so passionate about bfing. I know that bf is best for babies but sometimes for whatever reason it may not be possible or in brawyn's case it may not be best. Sometimes it is easy to forget that there is a another human on the other end of the computer screen in our passion about things.

For women who have never had to struggle with bf it is easy to be judgemental. I understand because even though I have struggled to bf I get frustrated with those who don't even try.

I know how hard it is to admit (on here and other places) that you can't bf. I avoided LLL like the plague because of my struggles bf my first. I cried the first night I pumped and gave him a bottle and then still had to supplement him. I know how difficult it is.

Please just know that you are making the best decision for your child. In the years to come you will be faced with many decisions about how to raise your children and there will probably always be someone to tell you that you should be doing it differently. My advice (with bf and other things) is that you go with your gut and then if you want advice from someone, look around and pick someone whose children are obviously well loved.

mommabee · 09-18-2004, 06:14 PM

I don't talk about it much on forums either, but I wasn't able to exclusively bf Althea after the first couple of weeks. She was a 3 week early, footling breech, surprise c-section, 6 lb baby (nothing like my coveting birth plan said she would be). Then there were latching and supply issues. Then we moved from Sarasota to Pittsburgh 3 weeks after she was born, not good for building a relationship either. I struggled for four long months and tried everything that I could find to help.

We may not have that bond, but I think we are doin alright

stampinblue · 09-20-2004, 10:28 PM

Yes! I feel SO much better! Let's all come out of hiding. Not being able to breastfeed is NOT a sin!! I think there is a lot of support on this site. A lot of these mamas nurse and for a long time and they are proud of it. They should be! But it doesn't necessarily mean they will look down on those of us who couldn't. It is ok to even choose not to breastfeed. You know your circumstances best. I finally gave up after three months. My daughter turned into a new person. I stopped resenting her. I stopped feeling rejected. Now we are starting to bond. Now she is happy all the time. Poor little thing was just hungry! I struggled so much. My depression got worse. It just wasn't the right choice for us and I am still forgiving myself. Every time I have to spend my DH's hard earned money on formula I question if I made the right choice. But I know in my heart that I did. I too get frustrated with people who didn't even try. I am jealous of them!! I wanted SO much to be able to do it. I never even entertained the notion that I wouldn't be able to. It is ok. We are ok. Our babies are more than ok. Thanks, mamas!
Nicole

Lmata · 09-20-2004, 11:37 PM

I have had sucessful bf experiences w/ my dc.

I am very greatful that we live in a time where there is formula available. I do think that it is used way too often. But, as we've read here there are times to use it.

I've had to use formula when I've been on medications that would harm the baby if I nursed. It is hard to pump and dump my milk, but I had to. Boy was I glad for the formula and the info about medicines passing to the milk.

What would my dh do if I were to die tomorrow? My dd would be on formula. That is much better than what he was given as a baby in Mexico...Carnation powdered milk. Before bottles mothers who couldn't nurse had to rely on others to nurse their babies if no one could be found the baby would die.

As mommies we should all be thankful that we have options available to us that others before us didn't have. Yes, we need to strive for what is best for for our babies, but our best may not be what is best (or possable) for everyone.

maxnmaizy · 09-22-2004, 02:52 AM

I just have to tell you all how good it is for me to read your stories. I can be a judgemental breastfeeding mom and I really need to be put in my place sometimes. You guys are brave to come out in an envrirnoment of us righteous breatfeeders. Good for you making the decision that was right for you. I vow to stop looking at formula fed babies with pity and jusdgement towards their mamas. We all want what is best for our families. And anyway it isn't any of my business!!!!! Good luck fellow mamas. love. love.

mamasky · 09-23-2004, 09:00 AM

I'm glad to see some bf moms post on this thread. I felt so horrible everytime I shoved a bottle in my baby's mouth. I was so determined to bf. When he was 9 months old I was so filled with guilt I went out and bought fenugreek, mothers milk tea, and starting pumping to try and relactate and it didn't work. I still feel bad when I see mothers nursing their babies and I know that I never got to have that bond. I hated being out in public and having to shove a bottle in his mouth. I felt like I was being looked down on for giving my baby milk.
I'm determined even more this time then I was last time. I'm more educated and I've prepared myself to have problems and I'm already starting to find resources for when I have problems. Things will be a lot different with this baby, mainly it won't be 2 months early. This one might latch on right after it's born and never have a problem.
I'm preping for the worst and hoping for the best.
Thank you for understanding that some people have situations and simply can't bf.
much love
-Lindsey

Halo · 09-23-2004, 11:04 AM

but I have always had problems with my supply. As one ever-so-helpful nurse told me (after seeing my big bazooms, no doubt), "you know, honey, there's no guarantee that the bigger they are the more they'll put out." Well, she was right.

That's what kinda burns me up about the 'trust your body' comments. I was trusting my body - to the point of starving my kid. I didn't know that he was crying because he was hungry, because, as a first time breastfeeder, you have no idea if the latch is correct and it's all working. If we hadn't given our son formula, and if we didn't continue to supplement, he'd not have received the nutrients he needed to get bigger, grow his brain, crawl, etc. So to anyone who imagines that every woman is a natural at it, look around. These abilities are not a given.

I see it a lot in the disability field in which I work. People don't understand until they are directly affected. It's easy to be militant when you have no experience with the reality on the other side. Anyway... I'm glad someone started this thread, because it is important that women don't feel bad about ff'ing.

Linda · 09-24-2004, 04:06 AM

{{{{{HUGS}}}} mamas...
I hope that you find the healing that you need. I went through many b'feeding problems with dd but was able to successfully do so. And I know that it would have left an ache in my soul had I not been able to do so.

You are awesome moms for doing what you needed to do to keep yourself and your child healthy. Breastmilk and breastfeeding are really important. **** But just as important, if not more so, are loving moms like yourselves. ****That love has just as much to do with a child's/persons health as any food you put into their tummies.

(hey-I was raised on soy formula and I am OK : )