I'm gathering ideas for ways to truly bless and surround an expecting mama, to truly celebrate who she is and what she is about to go through. As a mama myself I've had baby showers- some very traditional and special in their own ways and some uniquely special as they were tweaked to be unique and really focus more than just on baby clothes but on me as a mother to be. I know many of you have had special celebrations, often referred to as blessingways, and I'd love it if we could share those experiences, pictures, ideas. It can be from a blessingway that was thrown for you, one you threw for someone else or ideas that you have read, heard, or dreamed about that you think are special.
As a doula I just love discussions of this nature and I want to create a mental resource of ideas and experiences- for celebrations I'll throw in the future and I'm sure others will gather insight from this as well. PLUS its just fun to talk about and share pictures!
Thanks mamas,
Sarah
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Mommy to Elias (Summer 2000), Hannah (Fall 2001), and Bayus (Spring 2005)
happy wife to Eddie (September 1999)
A moms group I'm in has done something like this.
We usually have a potluck lunch, and everyone brings a bead for the expectant mama. There is also scrapbooking paper there, and each person writes a blessing or special message that is about the size of a photo. The mama can then put these in a scrapbook, or whatever she wants to do with them. Everyone gives the mama the bead, telling her why it was chosen for her. We have that stretch elastic jewelry makers twine (maybe there is a name for this but I don't know!) and some filler beads and the mama strings them to make a bracelet. We have also had where the expectant mama gets pampered with things like a footbath, eye pillow, manicure, etc.
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Ann
mommy to Morgan Phillip 5/24/02
and Elisha Nicole 5/10/05
and Bethany Alyssa 1/5/08
What Ann wrote is like all the bw's I have been too. We also did a belly cast at mine. At a friend's bw we had a belly dancer come in and show us how to belly dance.
we had one for my aunt that I organized. Let me see if I can remember everything we did (it was over 5 years ago already!)
we did the "everyone brings a bead" thing to make her a birthing bracelet.
each person got a few moments on camera to leave a wish, thought or blessing for her during the birth.
we had a long ribbon. everyone stood in a circle. then we connected each person wit the ribbon, it looped around their wrist then traveled to the next person &c til everyone had been included in the ring. Then we said a poem or something like that (can't remember it off the top of my head) and cut the ribbon. Each person kept their section of the ring as a bracelet to wear until sh gave birth.
as a give away, each person got a mini candle to light when she went into labor. my aunt also got a bigger version of our mini candles to light on her birth alter.
Each person gave a "gift" to pamper her right before or during birth (things like scented oils, a gift cert for a prenatal massage, relaxing CD &c)
Each person signed up to bring a meal or do a chore/errand for her after the baby was born.
We ate lots of finger foods, fruit salad, mini quiche, chocolate dipped strawberries, mimosas and iced tea.
It was really nice and the focus was on mom and birth.
Chole
__________________ 18th century Mama to an nutty 9yr old, SO to a graphic novel guy
I do blessingways and rituals for mothers-to-be as a service that I offer. I don't have time right now to go into all the details, but I would love to chat more later. (we are moving today...getting in last minute 'net stuff!) If you have not checked it out already I highly reccomend this book Mother Rising: The Most Complete Guide to Blessingways . One of its co-authors is a BFW mentor colleauge. It is a gorgeous book with great ideas.
HTH!
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Katie ~
Me and 2 of my 3 girls at the Sacre Coeur, Paris August 2009
We had a sort-of blessing way for my best friend (many of our friends are very conventional, and we didn't want to freak them out). It was an evening tea with desserts/scones, etc. by candlelight - VERY nice, I'll have to say.
Two things we did that were cool was to have everybody bring fabric at least 8" by 8", and I assembled these into a quilt for her. She had mentioned previously that her vision for her labor is that she's labor naked under a warm blanket with lavender all around, so that's where I got the idea. (Well, instead, she labored briefly in her bathtub, then briefly in her car, and then out came baby... but at least she was very encouraged by the quilt anyways.) The quilt was only about 4' by 6' - the size of a throw blanket, and I just assembled it with 6x6 squares and muslin for the backing - with a little advice from the sewing mamas since it was the first I'd ever made!
(BTW - the quilt was so much fun and so well received that I've considered maybe offering that as a service - putting such quilts together - if somebody else wants to do that but doesn't have the time/machine/or experience.)
The second thing we did is have everyone write a "labor love note" - something about her, something about motherhood, something original or borrowed... and I collected these to be read by her or to her as her labor started. (She probably ended up reading these after baby was already here LOL!)
I Just wrote an article for my blog about blessingways. I've been lucky enough to have been given two, and I have hosted a couple for friends- they are the BEST celebration in my opinion.
I've had two and been to several. There have been variations to all of them. When we would pass the yarn to wrap around our wrists everyone would say their name and then say, "the daughter of_________the daughter of _____the daughter of_____" as far back as you know and wrap the yarn around your wrist with each name. That was always neat to here the names and it represented all the women with you in labor. After the mom has the baby (or finishes lotus birthing) everyone would cut theirs off.
Everyone would line up in two lines and face each other and make an arch with their arms and the mom would go through first backwards and then get turned around between each set of arms. There would be a saying about coming into this world by woman and each woman would kiss you on the cheek. I would have to look up exactly what was said.
We had a special tea and each herb meant something and we had to pour the hot tea in our hands and it represented the other women taking part of the pain of labor for you.
We sang songs, brought beads to make a necklace, brought stones and other special things like shells, plants, flowers, candles, and or poems. We usually brought something that was one of our kids to pass on to the new baby too.
It would be potluck and it was a lot of fun getting together with the other woman and the mother before her birth, sometimes we're all so busy it's hard to get together. Other things we might do would be henna, belly cast, belly pictures, release negative feelings written on balloons (for past bad births or family giving them problems), cornmeal foot rub, and even a bath w/ rose petals. Candles were always lit. It would really depend on what the mom was comfortable with though.
Most of the moms would get together again after the baby was born for a visit and to bring meals and healthy snacks for mom. It worked a little better since everyone could meet the baby at once and not have lots of separate visits.
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Rosemary
Semi-Crunchy mama to A (9/97), B (8/00), O (3/03), R (4/05) and brand new twin girls I and A (1/08).
i had one & in addition to many of the things already mentioned, my sister (she's a potter) made a "belly bowl" & brought it. everyone got to carve "blessings" to me & the babe prior to glazing & firing it.
i have a belly bowl for each of my bellies & each babe got their 1st bath in them
we also did henna tattoo-ing on my belly & if the guests wanted one, they got one.
I've had two and been to several. There have been variations to all of them. When we would pass the yarn to wrap around our wrists everyone would say their name and then say, "the daughter of_________the daughter of _____the daughter of_____" as far back as you know and wrap the yarn around your wrist with each name. That was always neat to here the names and it represented all the women with you in labor. After the mom has the baby (or finishes lotus birthing) everyone would cut theirs off.
Everyone would line up in two lines and face each other and make an arch with their arms and the mom would go through first backwards and then get turned around between each set of arms. There would be a saying about coming into this world by woman and each woman would kiss you on the cheek. I would have to look up exactly what was said.
We had a special tea and each herb meant something and we had to pour the hot tea in our hands and it represented the other women taking part of the pain of labor for you.
We sang songs, brought beads to make a necklace, brought stones and other special things like shells, plants, flowers, candles, and or poems. We usually brought something that was one of our kids to pass on to the new baby too.
It would be potluck and it was a lot of fun getting together with the other woman and the mother before her birth, sometimes we're all so busy it's hard to get together. Other things we might do would be henna, belly cast, belly pictures, release negative feelings written on balloons (for past bad births or family giving them problems), cornmeal foot rub, and even a bath w/ rose petals. Candles were always lit. It would really depend on what the mom was comfortable with though.
Most of the moms would get together again after the baby was born for a visit and to bring meals and healthy snacks for mom. It worked a little better since everyone could meet the baby at once and not have lots of separate visits.
I could see myself getting very emotional; considering I was tearing up just reading about it.
Hi Sarah! 
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