Personally I'd never think of offering my FRIENDSHIP for payment because it isn't for sale. And while you may not have qualifications for coaching or counseling you certainly can and SHOULD call yourself a CONSULTANT. So please, take my advice (it's FREE!) and change "friend" to consultant.
Can I? I'd gotten feedback in the past that this is a professional title, for which one must somehow proffer certification.
I'll take your advice, I think, if you know what you're talking about.
Anybody else have an educated opinion on this matter which we can add to a collective consensus? Does it take any legal qualification to call oneself "consultant"?
Thanks!
__________________
Dana
Mama to Egon Zap, 3.5 yo
and Dagny Bloom
1. a person or party that is consulted.
2. a person whose occupation is to be consulted for their expertise, advice, or help in an area or specialty. Alternatively, a party whose business is to be similarly consulted.
friend (frnd)
n.
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
so there are definitions for you. Which one pertains to being paid?
You can't possibly be this dense. It is fun watching you stretch to find persecution in this, though.
__________________
When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
Thomas Jefferson
You can't possibly be this dense. It is fun watching you stretch to find persecution in this, though.[/quote]
Is that for real? I thought you were trying to help...
Edited to add that both of the words apply with accuracy to my service.
And some loving unsolicited advice to you, as you have given me; your obvious wisdom and intelligence will be more efficiently utilized by others when you can get clean your own **** from your offering.
Thanks; I really am appreciative that you might be able to help me find a word for my service that has a wider appeal,
Love,
Dana
Last edited by mamatochubchub : 10-04-2009 at 03:38 PM.
And, fwiw, I would tend to agree that you are talking about working as a consultant and not a friend. There is no certifying organization that grants the title "Consultant." I believe that it would be apt in this situation.
__________________
Jonathan
Louisburg Cider Mill
October 2009
"Master, which is the greatest commandment in the law?
Jesus said until him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment.
And, the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
On these two commandments have all the law and the prophets."
I was writing that before you quoted me and actually asked. The next thing you wrote after I wrote what you quoted was
"in this case the judgements from this forum and others are-- money grubbing, under qualified, too young, unethical."
that's why I got an attitude. I and others who are on this thread have nothing wrong with earning money, nobody is calling you unqualified, young, or unethical. Most of us have done nothing but question the word friend from the beginning of this thread.
I don't think it's a bad business idea really. You have experience and advice to give but the way it's written now is just going to make everyone and their brother think you are selling sex.
And some loving unsolicited advice to you, as you have given me; your obvious wisdom and intelligence will be more efficiently utilized by others when you can get clean your own **** from your offering.
Thanks; I really am appreciative that you might be able to help me find a word for my service that has a wider appeal,
Love,
Dana
and you will benefit from others advice MUCH better when you listen at the beginning instead of finally waking up two pages into a thread and listening to what people are telling you. You were so intent on people having problems first with the poly issue, then with you making money period that YOU couldn't see what anyone was telling you.
It is a different life path and I'm sure you get judgment from some but everything is not always about that you know.
I realize that you probably didn't mean for this to come across as it did. But have you even bothered to read on the boards lately? If you did, then did it not enter your mind that people might "question" your motives for offering "friendship" for hire? We have several mamas on this board who are trying desperately to keep their families afloat in the midst of job loss and continued unemployment. We have mamas who are dealing with severe illness that is threatening their employment. AND we have some that are dealing with illness with their children.
With all that in mind to come to this board where many of us are friends and DAILY offer friendship and support for free with an ad that is for paid "friendship" is a little this side of tacky.
So maybe you should have taken a moment and caught up with what is going on here and maybe even *gasp* ASK for advice on this ad before you put it out there worded as you did. For the most part we are a friendly open group but we will call you on crap and we all like to tease each other. I can promise you Storm was trying to help but it is hard to believe that you didn't at least *consider* that your thread might be poorly worded and taken the wrong way.
__________________
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Robin wife to one awesome guy for 19 years,
mama to four beautiful boys
an ad that is for paid "friendship" is a little this side of tacky.
I would venture to say it wasn't even 'this side' of tacky. Just plain old tacky.
And yes, the ad as written above made me think there was 'more' that couldn't actually be said - and of course with your disclaimer for your mother - I wondered if there was something sexually being 'sold', and that was what you meant by 'friend'.
Your ad was pretty vague, and by calling it friendship instead of what it is - a very specific kind of consulting - is very confusing.
__________________
Heather Mitchell
mom to 4
and another on the way... from Ethiopia!
wow--i've learned a lot from this thread. I've learned that I'm a servant, that people actually think that they can charge money for friendship, and that apparently polyamorous people have way more real-life growth and knowledge then any professional therapist. LOL!!!!
So, mamatochubchub, i just want to know one thing....
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.
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..
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what are you smoking?
I think it's fine if you want to charge people for your caring and friendship, but can we please laugh at the people who pay for the service? Because you can dump your problems on people on the interwebz for free.
The quality of this conversation sure went south.
Hopefully, I've extracted from it a shred of betterment for my business; contemplating changing my official title to "consultant"...looking for more feedback/information before I decide.
No, I won't be spending more time reading forums here...It doesn't appeal to me, actually.
I have a life outside of the internet that is full of people who are loving and supportive and give feedback (yes, even unsolicited or negative feedback) without judgement, criticism, and condemnation.
Sorry to see Amitymama so overrun with negative energy...
A professional means you charge for it and a professional "friend" is an oxymoron, unless you mean escort or therapist. BTW, I guess you'd find it just as offensive if your RL friends offered to charge you for their "services".
--NB (who also has a bit of experience with poly, but shares her knowledge freely)
__________________
Wife to M
Mama to:
Jahnu, Chakra, Vikram, Tarani, Karika, Devesha, and newbie Shrida (1/16/09)
A professional means you charge for it and a professional "friend" is an oxymoron, unless you mean escort or therapist. BTW, I guess you'd find it just as offensive if your RL friends offered to charge you for their "services".
--NB (who also has a bit of experience with poly, but shares her knowledge freely)
I agree that "professional friend" is an oxymoron, but no, she cannot use the term "therapist." That is an area that is licensed and regulated and requires specific training, education, experience, and personal growth work . Consultant is very apt.
Dana what about seeking training to be a life coach? I do not mean this in any sort of derogatory means either to you or to life coaches. It is a growing field that, I believe, provides a fair amount of opportunity to both clients and coaches. I do believe that there is some amount of lay training that would be needed. I know in our state - Kansas - it remains an unregulated profession that does not require licensure and, thus, anyone can break into the field though I do believe that there are skills to be gained by certification programs. It sounds to me as if this might be something both accessible and close to the type of work you may be considering.
I think that you may consider the need to be careful in the type of work that you do and education is something that could be helpful as being a professional friend likely defines a dual relationship with a client. There are very real personal, emotional, and potentially legal consequences (not because you are doing anything wrong, but because a dual relationship increases the potential that your client may sue). Clear boundaries in such work are not just something that professional counselors do because of any overseeing body imposing an unnecessary ethics code, but because it ultimately protects you. There are reasons why counselors/therapists/psychologists/etc. not only avoid sex with clients, but dual relationships.
That said, I believe that many times, people can do just as well with a skilled (but unpaid) friend as with a therapist, so I really would encourage you to pursue your career goals, but with a bit of professional training/education/boundaries behind you which is why that I'd really encourage you to consider looking into life coaching training. I would encourage you though, in this situation, to avoid saying that you will not have sex with clients as this should be a given. Well, unless you really want to specifically focus on polyamory because I am sure that there may be some who are not polyamorous who would misunderstand that means that they can get laid.
But, good luck and, please, consider sticking around. Do understand if you continue to use the word "friend," that people here will take offense and react similarly to the manner in which they have.
Last edited by Sunflower_Momma : 10-04-2009 at 08:17 PM.
I survived my husband's 15 mos. deployment! 
. Consultant is very apt.
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