Hey mamas,
If you don't understand why I'm offering one-on-one confidential and loving support to people who don't have it IRL, look outside your bubble.
Live for a week in a Texas Suburb, forget your internet ways, surround yourself by family that is judgemental and critical. These experiences are probably more common in our society than yours is.
Speaking of critical and judgemental... How's that working for you?
Let us uplift each other. What do you dream of doing? How would you like to help the world? How can the world make this sustainable for you?
Beautiful.
Thank You!
Love,
Dana
__________________
Dana
Mama to Egon Zap, 3.5 yo
and Dagny Bloom
Hey mamas,
If you don't understand why I'm offering one-on-one confidential and loving support to people who don't have it IRL, look outside your bubble.
Live for a week in a Texas Suburb, forget your internet ways, surround yourself by family that is judgemental and critical. These experiences are probably more common in our society than yours is.
Speaking of critical and judgemental... How's that working for you?
Let us uplift each other. What do you dream of doing? How would you like to help the world? How can the world make this sustainable for you?
Beautiful.
Thank You!
Love,
Dana
I've both been that person and have known people like that at various points in my life. To those I've seen in that position, I have tried to help. I have reached out. I have offered support and friendship. However, I have never tried to make a buck off it. I prefer to offer my friendship without cost.
Maybe, Dana, it would be better to call yourself a "polyamory consultant" since the word "friend" in a payment situation seems off-putting to so many people.
Hey mamas,
If you don't understand why I'm offering one-on-one confidential and loving support to people who don't have it IRL, look outside your bubble.
Live for a week in a Texas Suburb, forget your internet ways, surround yourself by family that is judgemental and critical. These experiences are probably more common in our society than yours is.
Speaking of critical and judgemental... How's that working for you?
Let us uplift each other. What do you dream of doing? How would you like to help the world? How can the world make this sustainable for you?
Beautiful.
Thank You!
Love,
Dana
so if I am supportive to you - if I uplift you-can I then charge you for it?
I think that is the problem here. you don't uplift and make friends and show support and then ask for money.
Is anyone else marveling at the irony of posting an ad offering friendship and support at $15/hour to a community whose foundation is built upon giving and receiving friendship and support all for free?
Isn't that kind of like walking into a church and offering to teach the word of God for an hourly rate?
Maybe, Dana, it would be better to call yourself a "polyamory consultant" since the word "friend" in a payment situation seems off-putting to so many people.
um, yeah that. It sound like you want people to pay you to be their friend. That's kind of off putting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sowest
Is anyone else marveling at the irony of posting an ad offering friendship and support at $15/hour to a community whose foundation is built upon giving and receiving friendship and support all for free?
Isn't that kind of like walking into a church and offering to teach the word of God for an hourly rate?
I can see it.
And Dana, if you want to come over to MD and see what we were talking about, it takes about an hour or so from when you first visit until the rest of the board opens up to you. It's set up that way to try and help keep out the spammers. Basically people are saying the same thing they are saying here. Your ad is kind of confusing and people are wondering if they are missing something or just reading it wrong.
__________________
Karen
married to DH Jim since 9/87
mom to Jeremy (12/88), Noah (4/91), Adam (4/95), Kathryn (10/01) and Clara (11/05)
If you want to start consulting services or life coaching you need to call it that. "Friends" don't get paid for talking and if you need a disclaimer that you aren't selling sex then even you must realize that your wording is clumsy. So don't get your panties in a wad, we aren't questioning or judging your personal or sexual life just your business sense.
__________________
When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.
Thomas Jefferson
I can appreciate that we are all mothers, servants, inclined to give without expectation of reciprocity or repayment. These are beautiful qualities.
And we generally choose to limit how many children we have at some point because we want our lives to be sustainable, we have limited resources, only so much time in a day, and unless we are so fortunate as to have financial support from a well-to-do husband or family, we find that we need to have a job.
Some of us go work for the local supermarket or megachain and make the most of it.
Some of have degrees and careers that pay more money and often require more responsibility/commitment, sometimes pulling us away from our commitment to our families.
And there are other options, too. The artists, artisans, entertainers, fortune tellers, traditional midwives, babysitters...all of these jobs, and many more, have their own unique paths to "qualification" and a subjective assessment of value.
I am not certified by an institution as a coach, counselor, or therapist; if I was, I'd be expected to charge a lot more than $15/hr. They also can't professionally offer love and friendship.
The only people who can judge the value of my service are people who have experienced my service. Make sense?
Thing is, for people who are poly curious, poly troubled, or poly experimenting, I am an incredible resource. I have offered my experience, thoughts, questions, and insights to countless friends and strangers in the past (same as you, at no cost) and universally received appreciation. I would like to be able to connect with more people in this way, because it is something I do well and a service that many people value, but unless I'm being compensated, I cannot afford the expenditure of time.
Maybe it seems strange to some people that anyone would offer to be your friend having never met you before? I'm sure that bounces weird for many folks. Which is why, partially why, you would never think of offering such a service yourself. Perhaps?
It is something I'm self-assessed as qualified to offer. I have done more personal growth work than your average therapist or psychologist, and am practiced at staying present, compassionate, curious, non-judgemental. I am a people person and I love people easily.
Appropriate, actually, for a competant and experienced poly woman!
Teehee, the sex favors disclaimer is there for people, like my mother, who hear "polyamory" and, in their ignorance, interpret "sexual promiscuity".
I can humor my own mother in my own ad for my own business and what's it to you, I'm still not clear on...
If you want "professionalism", go to the $50/hr certified coach/counselor.
Of course, the poly-conscious coaches and counselors are much fewer and farther between than are traditional monogamous/serial monogamous ones.
If you want "real" (as opposed to "professional") friendship, love, humility, and honesty, as well as poly-consciousness, and have tighter purse strings, you will likely be delighted to find me!
edited to make a clarification about "real" vs. "professional"
Last edited by mamatochubchub : 10-04-2009 at 03:17 PM.
Maybe it seems strange to some people that anyone would offer to be your friend having never met you before? I'm sure that bounces weird for many folks. Which is why, partially why, you would never think of offering such a service yourself. Perhaps?
Personally I'd never think of offering my FRIENDSHIP for payment because it isn't for sale. And while you may not have qualifications for coaching or counseling you certainly can and SHOULD call yourself a CONSULTANT. So please, take my advice (it's FREE!) and change "friend" to consultant.
I offer my (real) friendship to plenty of people that I've never met, free.
Curious what happens if they don't like your friendship. Do they get a refund?
Sorry, if I had to pay someone to be my friend, I'd feel pretty darn low about myself. Like the kid whose dad had to put a steak around his neck to even get the dog to play with him.
Teehee, the sex favors disclaimer is there for people, like my mother, who hear "polyamory" and, in their ignorance, interpret "sexual promiscuity".
I can humor my own mother in my own ad for my own business and what's it to you, I'm still not clear on...
If you want "professionalism", go to the $50/hr certified coach/counselor.
Of course, the poly-conscious coaches and counselors are much fewer and farther between than are traditional monogamous/serial monogamous ones.
If you want "real" (as opposed to "professional") friendship, love, humility, and honesty, as well as poly-consciousness, and have tighter purse strings, you will likely be delighted to find me!
edited to make a clarification about "real" vs. "professional"
Seriously. If you think someone buying your friendship for $15/hr makes you a "real" friend, I'm thinking you just might have the wrong idea about what friendship is.
In my world friendship is its own reward. It's mutually beneficially with no financial incentive required.
And, if the ad isn't something that appeals to you...don't support the business!
It doesn't mean that the ad shouldn't exist or that it won't appeal to others.
I feel some sadness when I notice that so many people look out in the world and see negativity: in this case the judgements from this forum and others are-- money grubbing, under qualified, too young, unethical.
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