Mamas with Teens and PreteensOh dear- the eye rolling, the attitude, the whines of 'OH MOM'... hormones? just a phase? being a teen is tough- being the mama of one is tougher...
I think you can only make the decisions for your own children. I would never, ever presume to supply birth control to a child under someone else's legal responsibility without first clearing it with their parents.
That said, the kids need to know that EVEN with a condom, EVEN with whatever else, the pill, etc, they may still become pregnant...they may.
I got pregnant with my oldest child young (19), but am thankful every day that I didn't get pregnant any younger...because I was on the pill as a teenager, and did believe that condoms were also important. I feel no regret over not having had babies in my early-mid teens (and yeah, most kids are having sex young).
No, I am not devoutly religious, so that could be a big part of it, but I know plenty of people who became more faithful and even born-again as adults who are more than glad they didn't have babies at age 15...and they were going to have sex either way.
I think you can only make the decisions for your own children. I would never, ever presume to supply birth control to a child under someone else's legal responsibility without first clearing it with their parents.
That's not the point, the point is that they (our children) actually know what they are taking and what it really does rather than just think it "prevents pregnancy", because later in life they might be upset to find out the truth about the pill.
I agree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gethane
This was a great thread until it had to become a sermon instead.
so you think that children should not be informed what their choices can do?
I think if they are adult enough to be having sex...adult enough to be using protection, then they are certainly adult enough to know what they are taking does to their body to make an informed choice.
I think you are the only one that seems to have a problem with this thread. You ask a question on this board, you are going to get all kinds of answers. from BTDT and "this is what I would do"
No one is preaching anything. just giving their advice too.
my oldest child is 12. His school since 4th grade has had sex ed classes and they get more involved each year. We use condoms for bc here because I can not tolerate bc pills. He has seen me buy them he knows that what they are for. We try to be open and only talk about what is important or relevant at this point in time at his age. I hope that our openness continues and when he is ready he will discuss it w us. I know I will be more ok w him using a condom and being w a girl then I will be ok w my dd when she comes to me. I do know that we will tell our kids that sex is not just about feeling it, it comes w emotional responsibility and has real meaning. It is something that you should do when you really care about the person you are with.
I think you have done a excellent job so far.
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Kelly Proud mommy and wife.
9-13-97
michael 1-95
samantha 10-99
nicholas 10-00
sunset in cancun (2006)
When my kids hit that age I will be more then happy to provide them with forms of birth control. I plan to ensure that they know that this is okay to talk to me about. I also like those rules posted early...no means no and so on.
I have to comment...
Having condoms in a basket near the door for your own kids is fine.
Having a condom at the door for other kids who are not 18 or older...not such a nice idea. It really doesn't make you the cool mom.
It makes you the mom that other mothers dread dealing with. It makes you the mother that other mothers don't want their kids being around.
You can be the cool mom to your kids and their friends without crossing lines such as providing alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, BC. I would never provide birth control for children other then my own. Sure they will use it with somebody else but I will only put it in the hands of my kids.
I don't think any parent has any right to provide BC for other children. If my kids were friends with your kids we would have a problem.
I cringe for the parents of the children who are getting BC like this. It's not the least bit appropriate.
NOt to jump on any bandwagon here, but Kas do you really get numerous calls in the middle of the night form kids looking for birth control?
I was pretty active at a young age, and partied with a wide variety of people doing a wide variety of things at all hours of the day and night and not one single time did anyone ever consider calling someone elses mom looking for birth control in the middle of the night. That is the oddest thing I have read.
To the OP it soundslike you are doing right by your son. Brancing of what KR said about christian parents - my parents and I just had this conversation last week after dh and I chaperoned prom here. MY parents were afraid to be to frank with us, they felt like we would come talk to them if we needed to, that if they didn'tmention it it would not be on our minds. Wrong-o. My borther and I navigated those waters alone and I know my parents regret that deeply. It is hard as a mom who 'hopes' your children will abstain, to talk to them about birth control. Kudos to you moms who are walking through this with your kids - I think communication is the most important thing!
I mentioned to my mom that many 'christian' kids do not want to plan for birth control, because then it is like they are planning for sex, Where if it just happens, you just fall into it, well, that seems better somehow!
Gethane - I do not see anything resembling a sermon, just wanting to disclose the facts. You mentioned on page one that choice is a good thing - does it stop being a good thing when it involves things you don't want to hear?
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wife to one, the love of my life
mama to 4, all incredibly gorgeous, smoochable and bright - taking my breath away everyday.
"Little things are indeed little, but to be faithful in little things is a great thing." - Mother Theresa
Having condoms in a basket near the door for your own kids is fine.
Having a condom at the door for other kids who are not 18 or older...not such a nice idea. It really doesn't make you the cool mom.
It makes you the mom that other mothers dread dealing with. It makes you the mother that other mothers don't want their kids being around.
You can be the cool mom to your kids and their friends without crossing lines such as providing alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, BC. I would never provide birth control for children other then my own. Sure they will use it with somebody else but I will only put it in the hands of my kids.
I don't think any parent has any right to provide BC for other children. If my kids were friends with your kids we would have a problem.
I cringe for the parents of the children who are getting BC like this. It's not the least bit appropriate.
Huh, doesn't bother me a bit to know that. I'd rather a fertilized egg not implant than have had a baby in my teens or while in college. And I feel the same way about my daughters.
To each their own. That's what choice is.
It might not bother YOU to know, but your daughter has a right to choose another form of birth control. It would be irresponsible to withhold the information from her.
the basket is also made available to his friends, at any point in time, with no questions asked (i grew tired of 9/10/11pm phone calls from his friends/girlfriends who were iso a condom to have sex).
which is just one more reason to make sure you know well the PARENTS of those your friends are hanging out with.
kas have you considered what would happen if one of dj's friends had an anaphylactic reaction to latex? it happens. you could find yourself one bad latex allergy away from a lawsuit.
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Life at its best...Game Day in Auburn, Alabama...Go War Eagle!
Huh, doesn't bother me a bit to know that. I'd rather a fertilized egg not implant than have had a baby in my teens or while in college. And I feel the same way about my daughters.
To each their own. That's what choice is.
whether *you* believe life begins at conception is irrelevant --it's what your *daughter* believes that matters. THAT is what choice is.
I think handing out condoms to all the neighborhood is unnecessary. After all, they are easily purchased with no prescription or ID needed at most any store. If kids are too embarrassed to buy them, you might want to remind them how embarrassing it is to go buy a pregnancy test or ask your dr to be tested for STDs.
I really like MamaJosie's response and that is very similar to the approach I plan to take with my children.
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Melinda
with 4 great kiddos!
Josh (6/96), Nathan (9/97), Corrie (6/99) & Rylee (9/02)
dont they supply condoms for free other places anyhow? Like a planned parenthood type of place? I know some schools they were giving them away.
Not that I think its right.. but I dont see much difference in kas giving them away or going to school to get them for free. Or a PP. They are all the same condoms. I mean, PP doesn't have any higher grade of condoms than you get at the store.
I wouldn't do it, but I would rather have my children have means to get condoms if they need it than not use one at all.
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SAHMama to 4 beautiful little munchkins and one angel 6/26/05
no sermon, just personal *experience*
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