amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

myshiningstarz · 04-15-2005, 09:48 AM

I'm starting to believe what they say... that the childhood years are easier then the teenager years! I'm just not sure I'm cut-out for this... I'm constantly screwing up...

Yesterday I told my 13yo dd that I didn't like her taste in music... and she started to cry! She said that I'm always "making fun" of her kind of music and instead of just accepting what she said I tried to explain myself which just made the whole thing worse and ended up in an argument! UGH! I have NO IDEA where she came up with the idea that I was making fun of HER because of her music... because ALL I SAID was I didn't like this song she was listening to...

Anyway... it ended up a mess. I should have just accepted what she felt at face value instead of trying to talk her out of it.... Even though those were NOT my intentions and I think any adult would have seen my point- she obviously felt differently so what I said didn't help anything.

It's just so hard! My fil once told me that trying to talk to a teenager is like trying to talk to a drunk person. LOL

I'm just constantly screwing this up...

Anyone else feel this way?

Livn4them · 04-15-2005, 03:33 PM

{{{{{{{{{Danielle}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm sorry she was *offended* by your comment. Mine roll their eyes when I tell them the music is awful

I may not like their music, but honestly, it's not my *style*...just like my parents weren't into my style of music as a teen! As long as they don't have it blaring throughout the house, I'm okay with it. They generally have headphones on while listening to their music. I DESPISE when they put CD's into my car player................................

I hope she sees you weren't making *fun* of her

jeni · 04-15-2005, 06:44 PM

The crying can be a result of hormonal changes in adolescence. My sons used to cry when I would get on them about things when they were around 12 or so. That doesn't mean their feelings aren't hurt, but that hormones make them react differently.

I feel like I can't do anything right, too.

dreamseeds · 04-30-2005, 02:34 AM

Thankfully it has been getting better at our house the past couple months. My teens are doing counseling...then say it does not help but I think it does. I know for 2 of my kids they have a hard time dealing with the divorce of their dad and I and it hurts them that he gets on and off crack cocaine so much that he is rpetty much irresponsible.
Then when he shows up after long periods of separation, he promised the world, yada yada and convinces my teens that I am a boring old fuddy duddy and that life with him and his girlfriend woudl be better for them.

It is THEN that everything I do is wrong ALL THE TIME.
So I am hoping counseling can help them cope with their emotions/hormone changes as well as situations that bug them adn hurt their hearts......

My story may be a littel different, but I know how you feel and how hard it is raising children often times.
They don't have an owners manual to refer back too *lol*