Mamas with Teens and PreteensOh dear- the eye rolling, the attitude, the whines of 'OH MOM'... hormones? just a phase? being a teen is tough- being the mama of one is tougher...
Hi, I am new here, My name is Tracey and I have two children.. 14,7.
My daughter wants to go to the beach with a group of friends. No adults will be present. The person who is driving is a 20 year old. The beach they are going to is 1 hour away. I told her no. There are about 10 kids going but the boys are 19,20, 17,16 and the girls are two 14 year olds and 2 16 year olds.. I said no.. She is driving me insane. I think an hour away is too far. There are no adults other than the 20 year old. Which makes me suspicious. She is pissed at me because her best friend is allowed to go.. She is 14 and has a 17 year old boyfriend and her mother is going to let her go. I just dont feel comfortable. Am I insane? I feel like smacking the crap out of her.
dont worry about it, if you want to trust your kids and have that relationship with them where you can trust them then you should just try and see how it ends up. if not and you really dont trust your kids then u wont ever be able to trust them like you would like to, the same kind of problem happened to me :hippy:
Personally, I do believe that it is not a big deal. I mean its just a beach. Like i said before...Develop trust and she will respect you more. Plus if you give her what she wants, she will be most pleasant to live with. At least for a few days...Lol
I have a 14 year old DD also and no I woudln't feel comfortable letting her go in that situation. I think a group of teens that large needs more supervision than a 20 year old can give.
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Mama to Trystan 8-16-90, Ty 5-12-93, Gracie 6-19-95, Gavin 1-22-99 and sweet Emilianne Elizabeth Rose 4-18-03
If they were then it would be a definate NO! But for a day trip to the beach, I dont know. It would depend on how much I trusted this child and how long they would be gone. I think I would definately set a curfew and some standards. But then again I dont have a daughter nor do I have a teenager. I guess it is all up to how you feel about your daughter and her maturity.
I wouldn't let her go. First of all driving that far with the boy's all so much older than the girls sends a bunch of red flags. Too much unsupervised time with teens is setting them up for trouble.
And about her friend. What in the world is a 14yo doing with a boy friend who is 3yrs older? Doesn't sound good to me. A 14yo doesn't even need a boyfriend yet.
Its not that a mother doesn't trust their daughter, its a matter of maturity and having already made mistakes. Parents are parents because their experiences make them wiser and better able to guide their children in the right direction. There are lots of things that could go wrong in the coarse of a day at the beach that a 14yo wouldn't know how to handle or get out of.
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Lisa, wife to Simon and mom to 6 wonderful kids! McKrae 11, Westley 9, Grant 7, Leah 5, Elise 3, & Ella 1!
Does anyone else think user xXPaulaJonesXx is this mama's 14 year old dd?
No way would I let my 14 year old CHILD go an hour away to the beach with such older guys. Not happening.
YUP!! Or at least someone in that age group who is bucking for her own rebellious freedom.
I have a 13yod, and sons who are 15, 18, and 20. As a family I would have NO problem letting them go to the beach. However, with mixed blood, being from different families, you know what would need to freeze over before I would consent to such an outing. It must be remembered that even 20 year old young men have desires that could put a young 14 year old girl in a undesireable position. She would literally be at his mercy if she wanted to get back home. NOPE!! I wouldn't let it happen with my daughter.
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My 1st son and my 1st granddaughter -
It takes a real daddy to wear a baby girl blanket.
my father ALWAYS said "I trust YOU. I cannot trust anyone else's child."
And once, when I was a teen and had a similiar issue, my mother pointed out that a 20 year old man was out of school, legally reponsible for under-age activity in his presence and would have very little in common with a 14 year old girl.
Based on that. she could only see one very underhanded and indecent reason for a grown man to want to spend time alone with very young girls.
Neither was easy to hear, but both were VERY true.
Well just so you people know it wasnt me who was Paula_Jones or whatever. Even if it was I wouldnt choose that as a SN because Paula Jones is.....well, she is just someone that one would not want to be compared to. If you know what I mean. Perhaps it was somebody else, well not perhaps...it was somebody else.
Last edited by Marie123456 : 04-09-2005 at 08:05 PM.
Reason: oops
"she could only see one very underhanded and indecent reason for a grown man to want to spend time alone with very young girls."-EmilyToys
Also, he does not want to spend time alone with us. This group of friends im going with always hangs out together. Matter of fact I just was with them last night. But he doesnt want us to be alone with him, if he did why would he bring 4 other boys....
This is just a set-up for a bad situation. Marie may be very responsible, but if the group dynamic starts to get out of control (staying too late; smoking; drinking; meeting other kids that are not doing respectable things) then Marie is too far away to get home by herself & is at the mercy of these older boys.
Unless the 20 yr old is an older brother of someone in the group who is along as the chaperone; he should NOT be interacting with underage kids.
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Natalie
mom to
DD #1: tiny terror (6/01) who's becoming a nice little girl
DD #2: peanut 3/04 who's becoming a toddler terror
Wife to Mick -13 yrs
I'm getting the distinct feeling that it is the Amity Mamas who have been set up. The original poster hasn't posted back yet, which makes me wonder if one of two things might be happening. One, the original poster and the "daughter" are imposters and are probably both teens who are trying to get an adult on their side. Or two, these are adult women who are No matter, I stand by my words.
waiting for us keeps me from preventing...
Im her kid....
No matter, I stand by my words.
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