Mamas with Teens and PreteensOh dear- the eye rolling, the attitude, the whines of 'OH MOM'... hormones? just a phase? being a teen is tough- being the mama of one is tougher...
Chelsey has decided she doesn't think she wants to go to college at all. She has read that the college degrees can be pretty meaningless and really doesn't see her self in any career that requires it. She is considering doing a cosmetology course thru junior and senior year instead. Vocational program thru the school. She'd graduate, continue in school thru the summer and then she'd be certified to work as a cosmetologist/hairdresser. She figures she could work for a while and if she decided later to go to college she could use the money from working to pay her way - work her way thru school.
I have mixed feelings so I'm sitting on it and not saying anything yet. She still needs good grades either way, so she's not using no college as an excuse not to do well in school. She seems pretty serious bout wanting to learn to cut/color hair, do perms, do the acrylic nails, facials and cosmetics.
Part of me thinks she might be right. Maybe she's not a college bound girl. Part of me thinks she'll miss out on some amazing experiences even if the education isn't something she'd actually use.
Thoughts?
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~Barb
Mama to 18yo Chelsey, 8yo Zoey & 5yo Roman
Zoeys 8th birthday!
my son talks about college all of the time. he is looking forward to it, and preparing himself academically to get into a good one. Sorry, can't help you.
I got only the one in my question about my separation anxiety, so I know how ya feel! I guess not everyone is cut out for college, and she seems to have a plan. When I dropped out of college a counselor there told me I'd be back. She said that kids who don't go out of high school often don't go at all because they get a life right away, but those who start come back. It was true for me. But I think I got more out of it when I went back on my own terms.
Peace!
We are actually encouraging our kids to take a year off between high school and college. So far both of my older girls want to go to college eventually, but that could change. We don't feel like at age 18 kids need to make such a huge commitment to what they are going to do "for the rest of their lives" (because face it, remember when we were 18 we thought we had indeed reached that point of living. ) Taking some time to explore life and see what direction they really want to go in is, IMO, a wise move for some people. There is definately a mixed message about college these days, and with student loans being the primary way of financing a degree, students are more and more going in the direction of jobs that tend to pay more, such as high tech jobs. For a kid considering college it may indeed look like the kind of jobs you get are not the kind of jobs you want. Especially if they are at all of the artistic and creative bent that Chelsey seems to be. Perhaps it would serve her exploration to look into colleges and careers that are strong in the arts.
I wouldn't stress too much though. She is just now finishing up her first year of hs (I think I remember that?) and is very likely to change her mind a million times between now and graduation. As long as she is learning and is engaged in schooling and activity now that is what seems important.
etided to correct spelling of your dd's name! so sorry, I bet she gets annoyed with that. I know it bugged me when I was her age. Still does sometimes... :P
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Katie ~ Mama to my sweet girls~Dylan(17),Kiah(16), and Anja(7)
I thnik it's fantastic that she has a career goal. I started college at 17, took almost 3 years off to be a nanny and then went back and earned 2 degrees. I think sometimes that college is seen as the only way to be a success in life and that is simply not true. I have seen lots and lots of young people go straight to college, not really knowing what they wanted, and screwing up their school records and accumulating lots of debt that really limited their choices further down the road. You can have amazing growing experiences without college. My nanny experiences were some of the best in my life I can't say the same about college. I think if she has a goal that fantastic and she should be supported in it. college will always be there when and if she wants to go. just my 2 cents, Sarah
Location: Stuck in the neverending cycle of cleaning
Posts: 2,382
I was a teen who didn't want to go to college. Now I really regret it. I am going now but it is hard because stuff isn't fresh in my mind like it used to be. Also, I have a family to juggle.
I will be strongly encouraging my Chelsie to go. She is already aware of the grades needed, and how grades in high school affect your chances of colleges, scholarships, etc.
I think if your Chelsey has a plan, and wants to become a cosmetologist, that's ok too. I think as she gets older, 17 or so, she would want to look into the pay range. Sadly, it is true that sometimes that dictates what we do in life. We would all love to follow our passions, but we need to be realistic about the income. And YES, totally, a hair-dresser can support herself. But she should know what type of income to expect, etc. Kwim? I know many people who got into different fields, even WITH degrees, only to go back to school as they loved their job, but could not live as they wanted to on that. And I know, money is NOT everything, and many people are happier with less money and with a job they love.
I agree that in "real life" and hands on ways, many college degrees are useless in some sorts. Especially computer ones, the technology they teach is so outdated and offers nothing in the real world today...well, except for that "piece of paper"....the one many places DO require. It'd be nice to say no, please, let me prove myself to you. But most will not even glance at you w/o a degree in many careers.
And of course, jobs like nurses, teachers, etc. are all ones that require degrees and for good reason.
It's a tough call Barb. I think give her some more time, and make sure she knows the pros and cons, and she will make a good decision for her. And if not, like she said, she can always go to college while working later on too.
__________________ "Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity."
George Bernard Shaw
It's a tough call Barb. I think give her some more time, and make sure she knows the pros and cons, and she will make a good decision for her. And if not, like she said, she can always go to college while working later on too.
I agree with Denise. My oldest ds did not go to college. He struggled through school & put a mental block up when it came to learning.
Sarah, however, has always been a gifted student. At this point she has no clear career path, but is talking about attending college.
I think it is wonderful that Chelsey does have a career path & plans for vocational school. She is thinking of the future & that is a good thing.
__________________ *~Gail~*& Miss Elizabeth
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth ~1 John 3:18
) Taking some time to explore life and see what direction they really want to go in is, IMO, a wise move for some people. There is definately a mixed message about college these days, and with student loans being the primary way of financing a degree, students are more and more going in the direction of jobs that tend to pay more, such as high tech jobs. For a kid considering college it may indeed look like the kind of jobs you get are not the kind of jobs you want. Especially if they are at all of the artistic and creative bent that Chelsey seems to be. Perhaps it would serve her exploration to look into colleges and careers that are strong in the arts. 
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