Mamas with Teens and PreteensOh dear- the eye rolling, the attitude, the whines of 'OH MOM'... hormones? just a phase? being a teen is tough- being the mama of one is tougher...
Trying to get it moving in here... Can we discuss how to handle "ennui" ?!?
My 14 yo is right in the throws of a serious phase of ennui right now. And it is making me NUTS! If I have to hear her tell tales of woe about how bored she is one more time I may scream. It is not for lack of interest in things - she knits, reads, needle felts, blogs, paints, is learning guitar - just to name a few things. We homeschool so she really has pretty free reign over the types of activities that she can choose to do. There is no lack of opportunities in our area either as we are really lucky to have a strong homeschool support in our community. Yet this )!(@#)!(@_ teenage ennui has set in big time. She says "I know I want to do something, but I don't know what it is." , so I try to get her to just pick one thing and start from there. She may go as far as to choose, but when it comes to following through on it she drops the ball. This is when she ends up sitting around heaving heavy sighs and commenting on how she is always available to babysit (she has a steady clientelle) because she has no life.
Ain't being the parent of an older child fun? Talk about dealing with button pushing!
Isn' t it fun! My 14 year old does nothing when she is at home but talk on the phone, chat online watch tv and eat. It's not that she hasn't been encouraged to do stuff, I can't list all the activities we have tried, but she just hasn't found anything that will hold her interest.
I wasn't much help was I. But at least your are not alone.
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Deborah
Mama to: Ginny 18, Sasha 11, and Toby 8
Separated at birth? Toby and his soccer coach, CO Rapids goalie, Justin Hughes.
For me, I require one activity. Whether a sport, art class, yoga, etc. It keeps her active, healthy, and not "as bored"....(but apparently bored enough to consider piercing herself....arghhh...)
I ask this of all my kids. To have one extracurricular activity. We public school, and imo, they don't offer enough physical ed or art, due to cuts. So I do it here, by asking them to choose something. They are vary it, choosing different things after completing one, etc. Or stick with the same. It's helped them beat boredom and stay active.
I am considering not forcing this though on Chelsie next year. I never HAVE had to force it, it's always been a welcome thing, to choose one thing. But she is thinking freshman year means more adjusting and homework, so may not want to do something in addition. I'd be ok with it, but am considering maybe suggesting a Mom and her yoga class to take. For activity, boredom, stress, etc.
__________________ "Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity."
George Bernard Shaw
Guess i'm lucky cuz i don't have to deal with this issue. Chelsey is in public highschool and the first semester kicked her bootie so she's been working her tail off to get back to a's and b's (one c right now). She dropped band cuz she had too much going on. She goes to teen ministry monday nights, teaches awana on wednesday nights and usually has a friend spend the night on friday or saturday night. After school she does homework, helps with the kids, talks on the phone to her friends, dances with zoey, dyes silk with me. We all go to the mall on saturday. She shops with a friend while the kids and i play in the play area or ride the carousel.
When theres nothing going on she and I watch 'chick flicks', she plays her games on the internet, we look for new music (we both like the same stuff these days), she likes to work with dad - she gets paid to help him make fittings for work. She babysits sometimes. She writes poetry.
i can honestly not recall the last time she said she was bored.
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~Barb
Mama to Chelsey,19, Zoey,8 and Roman, 5
Happy Holidays from my family to yours!
Dylan has lots of activities that she does on a regular basis. That is part of what is so frustrating. She is getting 'bored' with everything. It is all "old" and she wants new and exciting things. But she couldn't really tell you what that means. lol. Its that "I want to do something, but I can't figure out what it is" kind of bored. I do know that if I chose something for her or tried to 'make' her do something she would rebel against that. She is very much like her mama in that respect.
If I have to hear her tell tales of woe about how bored she is one more time I may scream. It is not for lack of interest in things - she knits, reads, needle felts, blogs, paints, is learning guitar - just to name a few things. We homeschool so she really has pretty free reign over the types of activities that she can choose to do. There is no lack of opportunities in our area either as we are really lucky to have a strong homeschool support in our community. Yet this )!(@#)!(@_ teenage ennui has set in big time. She says "I know I want to do something, but I don't know what it is." , so I try to get her to just pick one thing and start from there. She may go as far as to choose, but when it comes to following through on it she drops the ball. This is when she ends up sitting around heaving heavy sighs and commenting on how she is always available to babysit (she has a steady clientelle) because she has no life. 
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