amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

Barb · 03-10-2005, 02:52 PM

We're going on a multi-family camping trip next month, and Chelsey just isn't into it. Not even if she invites a friend. That might change if the mom of the boy she's sorta 'friends with' says he can come (under much supervision) but basically she's saying she doesn't want to come with us or miss a day of school.

We'd be leaving on a thursday afternoon around 3pm. She'd be home from then til the next morning when she'd go to school. Gramma would meet her here at the house Friday at 3pm and take her to their house til we get home Saturday afternoon or Sunday morning.
Gramma and she are really pushing for this.

She IS extremely responsible and I have no doubt she would just talk on the phone for hours, eat junk food and play on neopets.com.
She would not invite anyone over. She would keep the doors locked.

I still don't like it.
I mean it IS a family camping trip. I know the activities are geared for all the little ones, but if she brought a friend?
Will talk it over with dh tonight, but I'm just not thinking its something I want to do.

Would you do it?
Have you done something like this?
Am i off base in not wanting to do it?

~MamaCharly~ · 03-10-2005, 02:54 PM

IMHO, not really knowing chelsea I think she's def. old enough to be left alone, my parents left me alone w/my 11 yo sister at that age for a weekend and we were fine

I think if you think she is responsible enough and maybe if you have neighbors to keep an eye out for her she will be just fine

arasmama · 03-10-2005, 02:56 PM

My older brother and sister always refused to go on family camping trips/ vacations. They totally regret it now!! They missed out on some great trips because they were surley teens (not saying that Chelsey is surley).

My parents use to leave my younger brother and I when we were 15 - 18 so they could go on trips alone. We threw some kickin' parties

Okay, maybe I am not the best person to ask.

Could she spend Thurs night with a school friend?

maryhannahkali · 03-10-2005, 02:56 PM

My 14 yo dd? No way! Your daughter - definately. From all I've read about her she sounds very responsible. Mine would let a burgular in. Hmmmm........wanna trade teenagers?!?

my2girlz · 03-10-2005, 03:00 PM

She sounds very mature for her age. I would do it.

A_Furry_Thing · 03-10-2005, 03:00 PM

I think I would rather not bring a moody moping teen on a trip they didn't want to be on. My dd is a bit older, she's 16, but she can be a PITB if she has to do something she doesn't want to.
I think I would rather she had a friend stay with her tho. I would trust her to stay by herself as long as there was someone she could call if she wanted or needed to.
I think your dd would do great by herself. She seems very responsible.
Mindi

Amber · 03-10-2005, 03:06 PM

My parents left me home at that age overnight and there were never any issues. I felt the same way as her about a few trips, one of which I was forced to go on and I being a teenager was pretty cranky having to go when I didn't want to and made it not as fun for everyone else. When left home alone overnight my parents always had a contact person for me though, that person would call that evening just to check up on me or if I needed something I had someone I could call for help. I think from what I read of you dd she id responsible enough to have the house to herself for a day.

SmartyMama · 03-10-2005, 03:08 PM

she sounds very responsible so yes, I would allow it. if there will be an adult checking in I think she will be fine. my oldest DS sounds just like Chelsey and I would leve him in those circumstances.

miraclemom · 03-10-2005, 03:10 PM

I'd let her do it. If she really doesn't want to go it could ruin the trip for the rest of you. At this age, there's really no point in "forcing" family togetherness, kwim? Chelsea sounds like a really responsible teen and it sounds like she could use a little room to spread her wings right now. 24 hours alone is the perfect way to let her do that. Now, if it were for the whole weekend, I may think differently. LOL!

RFamHere · 03-10-2005, 03:11 PM

I wouldn't feel comfortable with it, but that's me. I like the suggestion above about her staying at a friend's house that night if she won't go.

Shifra · 03-10-2005, 03:17 PM

Ok- so you know that there is a "boy-friend" who you would not leave her alone with on the trip, would he come over??? I say have her stay at a friends for the night. I was the one at home and based on what "I" used to do there is no way I will let my DD stay home alone!.. She is 16 btw and does not have a boyfriend right now either. Too much temptation.

03-10-2005, 03:25 PM

When I was 14-17, my parents worked 3pm-11pm, Monday thru friday. I never saw them. I was home alone every night, and the worst trouble I ever got in was that I boiled all the water out of the kettle and ruined it. I'm sure Chelsey will be fine.

Sharon · 03-10-2005, 03:36 PM

I wouldn't do it. I'd have her spend the afternoon and night at a friends if you allow her to stay home. I was left alone one night too and promptly had my boyfriend over. And I was considered responsible and mature for my age.

Maiden Comfort · 03-10-2005, 04:45 PM

Nope - no way, no how. I remember what I was like as a teen - given that much freedom I would have run with it (and did I ever!!)

Barb · 03-10-2005, 04:52 PM

nods, i appreciate the thoughts. I really don't believe chelsey would invite a friend over if told not to do that. As for the boy she's 'friends with' - its a weird thing....she wont' call him her boyfriend because she's not sure she believes in pre-marital dating. She's trying to figure out if she'll date or wait to "court" (its a Christian thing) and she's taken a celibacy vow with her group of friends at church (tho i do realize that could mean absolutely nothing)

My stepmom says that I am wary because of who I WAS at 15. And maybe she's right. My dad was gone, my mom in and out of hospitals and I was a crazy wild kid. I was doing things I am ashamed of when I look back. My Chelsey is not that person. I don't think , from those i've met, that any of her friends are like that either - honestly, they're a bunch of jesus freaks

and geeks LOL. And I can't say i have a problem with either.

The problem with the neighbor thing is that the only neighbors we're close with are coming with us camping! lol. I like the idea of her spending the night at a friends house, but her two best friends - neither goes to her school. I'm going to talk to her about some of her church friends cuz i know at least one of them is in her highschool.

plus i still have to talk to Tommy.

oiy. Raising teenagers is HARD !