amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

Claire Berry · 01-26-2005, 05:39 PM

If you didn't want your child to become sexually active, would you buy them a sex toy so they could please themself without putting themselves at risk.

I just recently became a Passion Party consultant, and although I don't think this would be a good way to promote my business, I think it is a very realistic solution to a very tough issue. I, personally wouldn't have a problem promoting masterbation instead of safer sex to my own children when they are old enough, but

What are your thoughts on this?

heather4285 · 01-26-2005, 05:45 PM

hmmm. not sure i would be too comfortable with that. not sure why, just my personal feelings.

Glitterbeam · 01-26-2005, 05:47 PM

No, I definitely would not.

sewlittletime · 01-26-2005, 05:54 PM

No I wouldn't. I don't have a very good reason, just seems inappropriate to me.

Amethyst · 01-26-2005, 06:01 PM

Uh, yeah. Inappropiate as h*** IMO.

Claire Berry · 01-26-2005, 06:06 PM

I'm sorry you feel that way and I hope you are referring to how you feel about doing that for your child, and not my bringing it up in a thread. I don't want to offend anyone, I just think its a very interesting subject.

I know that a lot of people might feel uncomfortable bringing something like that up to their child, but with the STD statistics the way they are out there, I would sure take the chance of sharing an uncomfortable moment with my kid if it would keep them safe. KWIM?

SmartyMama · 01-26-2005, 06:14 PM

I would not buy one of my children a sex toy. I did not even own one until I was married for 2 years lol. That is something they can do for themselves. If my daughter bought one at 17 I would not fall over dead or anything.

Amethyst · 01-26-2005, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by peacelilymama
I'm sorry you feel that way and I hope you are referring to how you feel about doing that for your child, and not my bringing it up in a thread.

I personally didn't mean the thread. I meant the idea of going to 13 or 14 yr old one day with a huge neon pink fake penis saying "here honey, let me show you how to pleasure yourself so you won't go get it elsewhere.". As well as inappropriate, I find it unrealistic. I like dildos, but still like my husband better.

Mamaselena · 01-26-2005, 06:21 PM

I have no idea how I feel about this... yes, its A MILLION times better than an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy and STDs but still... I just don't know... it's considered statuatory rape if a girl has sex under what, 16-18? And those things are instores that require 18+...

I doubt seriously that I would ever offer but I think I might purchase or give a credit card number (for her privacy) for an older teen who asked for one... maybe... gosh.. I just don't know, LOL!

Or maybe just a book or website on self pleasure.. not sure if a toy is the right thing for a teen..

hannahsorchard · 01-26-2005, 06:27 PM

heck no! it's one thing for them to learn to get pleasure from their own bodies, and we want them to know that it is 100% ok and healthy. But it is a totally different thing to hand them something that is supposed to simulate sex. They don't NEED a toy to learn their body.

No way.

mamabuzzybee · 01-26-2005, 06:36 PM

Hmmm. I remember having a similar discussion on the Personal Place board earlier this year. I don't think it is a bad thing to be open with teens about sex toys, although I think that if they are going to masterbate, they will do so whether they have a toy or not. We have a fantastic women-owned sex shop in Madison (opened by a lesbian couple--one a social worker and the other a doctor) and I would be comfortable bringing a teen to it (there are many resources on sexuality, being comfortable with your body etc, including books and classes). I think that kids are going to do what they are going to do, and either we can be upfront with them and possibly understand what they are going through, or we can pretend it might not be happening. I would much rather my dd went to a classy business with me, than a downtown, sticky, and gross sex shop. That said, I don't think I would just hand over a dildo to my daughter--I would want to, however, convey the message that masterbation is okay, and if she wanted to use a toy, that I wouldn't be horrified.

Debra · 01-26-2005, 06:38 PM

I absolutely will not buy my child a toy. No way, no how!

~Bethany~ · 01-26-2005, 06:41 PM

He!!, I wouldn't even buy a girlfriend a sex toy for a shower or something. It ain't my bidness how people like to get off, unless they are in bed with me.

So, no.

Glitterbeam · 01-26-2005, 07:02 PM

If you're willing to buy a dildo for your dd, are you also willing to buy a pocket pussy for your ds? Bleh, those are sick.

~Denise~ · 01-26-2005, 07:10 PM

I remember this discussion on the Sex board not too long ago...

And my answer was, and is, no. Teens are not often having sex to pleasure themselves. IMO most teens are having it out of wanting to be accepted, because they want to try it, because they want to fit in....low self esteem, etc. Not all, no. And those having it with someone they love, because of the love, well, imo they don't need a sex toy...it ain't gonna stop a 16 year old girl who is in love from experimenting with her boyfriend imo.