Mamas with Teens and PreteensOh dear- the eye rolling, the attitude, the whines of 'OH MOM'... hormones? just a phase? being a teen is tough- being the mama of one is tougher...
Those with older girls...period questions...help me please...
How old was your daughter when she started her period?
How did she deal with it? Happy? Embarrassed?
What does she prefer to use, supply wise?
What were her biggest hardships, or none, with this new change in her life?
Was she embarrassed for her dad to know? How did you deal with this?
Anything else I need to know?!?
AKA Give me some support and ideas and whatever the hell else here...I think *I* am having a harder time with this than she is...but I really do not want to be. Sigh.
__________________ "Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity."
George Bernard Shaw
I don't have a DD, but I remember the day I got mine. I remember the 2nd one I got also. I don't remember telling anyone for a LONG time. I remember telling my mom, but it wasn't anything special.
I found my calendar ESSENTIAL! That was from the VERY beginning. I tracked EVERYTHING on a calendar, not a diary. I carried a pocket calendar b/c it was my "journal" and I didn't have to show anyone. I do remember having to argue EVERY MONTH about what pads I wanted b/c teh ones I liked were "so expensive".
How old was your daughter when she started her period?
I was 10. I got my period on April 13, 1986, just 7 days before my 11th birthday.I was in 5th grade.
How did she deal with it? Happy? Embarrassed? I was horrified. I'd wanted it badly, but I got it when horseback riding with my cousins and it wasn't at all like I expected.
What does she prefer to use, supply wise? At the time, I prefered Stayfree Silhouette, I changed to Kotex Natural Ultrathins in Middle School and High School. My mom straight up refused to all me to use tampons even for sports, cheerleading or dance team. Can you imagine doing high kicks with a bulky pad on? If I had to choose today, I'd probably want a cool pack of cloth pads and/or a Keeper if they make them for teens. I'd want information on tampons and the ability to use them if I feel it's needed.
What were her biggest hardships, or none, with this new change in her life? My hardest thing was the fact that EVERYONE (once they knew) kept telling me that I was "off" or "backward" because I wasn't "regular". I wanted to be on the pill from 6th grade on b/c my cycle wasn't 28 days exactly and EVERYONE was all on me about it (our health and pe instructors were the worst). Well, I was PERFECTLY regular (as my "journals" will attest). My cycle has ALWAYS been 33-35 days long! Make sure your DD knows that it's normal to not be "regular" for several months to a year after starting, then make sure she understands that 28 days is an AVERAGE of all the women in the world.
Was she embarrassed for her dad to know? How did you deal with this? I was very very private about this stuff. I didn't want ANYONE to know. I don't know who my mom told, I am sure she told a lot of people. I told people on my own. This was no one's business but mine!
Anything else I need to know?!? She needs to know that it might make her feel really crummy. I was soooo sick on the first day EVERY month for most of my life. She needs to know there's nothing wrong with her. She needs to know that it's important to keep a record of her period for herself, not for others. Please don't confront her about it if she hides messy panties in the laundry or tries to get it out on her own. Teach her how to clean up messes b/c there's nothing worse than being confronted about something that might be embarrassing. It's ok to take midol and it's ok to hide it in a Tylenol bottle in her locker...lol. I bet her schools has a policy about keeping pain meds in the kids' possession, so her school nurse is going to need to be talked to. Make sure that the nurse doesn't try to talk down to her. You might want to be there with her.
These are just things I remember soooo clearly! I think I need a shrink...
I love the idea of a care package with a wall calendar, a pocket calendar, midol and some cute pads. Also, she's going to need a bag to carry her supplies in for school/slumber parties. It should be something cute that doesn't scream PERIOD SUPPLIES!
__________________ Katie,
Wife to Matt my knight, Mom to Zachary my c/s baby and Lorelei my UBAC baby
Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
-- Elizabeth Stone
Last edited by ZandLsMom : 01-13-2005 at 08:58 PM.
How old was your daughter when she started her period?
chels was 12
How did she deal with it? Happy? Embarrassed?
she was thrilled. she'd been waiting to start
not embarassed at all - we'd talked about "becoming a woman" and i presented her with a box made by a wahmama with her new pads, some incense an article on red parties (she chose not to have one) and then i took her out for a mom/daughter date. Gramma took her for a manicure that weekend too
What does she prefer to use, supply wise?
she picked out her own fabric for cloth pads. Teen size pads... longer but thinner
What were her biggest hardships, or none, with this new change in her life?
mostly just tracking it so she wasn't taken by surprise at school with it and no supplies. first few months were so sporadic she had a tough time and carried a pad with her and a change of pants everywhere she went
Was she embarrassed for her dad to know? How did you deal with this?
nah not chelsey. She told him straight out "i have cramps be nice to me i got my first period". He gave her a hug and went out and bought her a chocolate bar and some midol. LOL
Anything else I need to know?!?
like i said the toughest part for my dd was tracking when she was due to get her next cycle so she could be prepared. She kinda guess for a certain week and carries a pad and change of underwear with her to school that week and wears a sweatshirt just in case that she can tie around her waist if she leaks (happened once and she handled it very well)
otherwise the hardest part for ME is her moodiness - she gets hardcore pms and then pretty nasty cramps. I try to keep her moving cuz when she's walking/active she seems to be less miserable
hope some of this helps...
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Mama to Chelsey, turning 19, 8yo Zoey & 5yo Roman
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She dealt with in a very matter of fact way, although she was somewhat excited, I would say. She uses tampons, not my choice, but that is what all her friends use, and she is quite the conformist, a reaction to her non-conformist familiy, I fear.
I can't say she has experienced much in the way of hardships, she seemed to take it in her stride. She rarely mentions it to me now, only when she is in need of supplies.
She wasn't embarrassed about DH (her step-dad) knowing. She had an "accident" once and Toby came up saying loudly that Ginny's "wee wee" was bleeding, my father and step-mum were staying with us at the time and I can tell you my dad was way, way more embarrassed than she was!
ETA: she seems to be lucky in that she doesn't get cramps or much discomfort. She is always moody, so I don't think I can blame that on PMS!
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Deborah
Mama to: Ginny 18, Sasha 11, and Toby 8
Separated at birth? Toby and his soccer coach, CO Rapids goalie, Justin Hughes.
I hope you all have an idea on how happy and appreciative I am here...with you sharing stories, ideas, etc. I NEED to hear it. I grew up being taught to be ashamed of my period, dirty, etc. I STILL carry those feelings. I know they are wrong, and off. And I can tell you that. But deep down?! I am still bothered. )o:
Having you all post and share is making this so much easier for me. Seriously. If you asked me to, I'd pay you for these posts. LOL. I seriously need to hear these things so badly.
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Posts: 22,861
Rachel started last year. She was close to 14.
Of course she was thrilled becuase her friends had already started. I told her that her diet was not quite like her friends and that it *may* have something to do with her getting it later than her friends.
That is unknown of course but speculated that processed foods may cause our chidlren to ahve puberty sooner-who knows.
Anyway, since she was mad at me for feeding her healthy food anyway, I was glad she finally was blessed on her womanhood journey.
She gets cramps sometimes-she can seem PMS y anyway so who knows if she really gets it or not.
I have seen in both my teens going through puberty that anger can come much easier. It can be rough!
She craves fries! I ahve made her watch Supersize me 3-4 times so she knows that those fries do not break down quickly and that she needs to eat fries in moderation.
Now you know why she hates me *lol* but she will be thankful for it 20 years from now
As for supplies, she has cloth pads she wears at home and she prefers tampons at school becuase she feels mroe secure with one in.
She was embarrassed at first to tell her brothers adn step dad, but I told him and we celebrated as a family together and shared that it was so wonderful and not to be embarrased over. Then we took her out for Thai
How old was your daughter when she started her period?
She was in 5th grade, poor thing!
How did she deal with it? Happy? Embarrassed?
Oh My gosh! It was a hoot! I had been at a birth the night before, so she had been with Dad and her baby brother the previous evening. I was checking my email in the morning and she came running it jumping up and down saying "Guess what I got! Guess what I got!"..my first thought was "the new Harry Potter book?", because it had just come out, and she and my husband love to hang out at the book store. She lauged and said "No! My period!"...so uh,,,she was pretty thrilled! LOL!
What does she prefer to use, supply wise?
She started off with just regular pads I had left over from my menstral history (I had a hysterectomy when my youngest was 4 months old), but when she read a book her step-grandmother gave her (American Girls about growing up) they mentioned cloth pads there..so she asked. I was reluctant to go there, but eventually we made the full switch. She did start using tampons occasionally that year, as she unfortunately got her period the morning of her class swimming party later that year! So we use unbleached ones, but she has been working on a package of 16 for a year now, so really it is cloth pads.
What were her biggest hardships, or none, with this new change in her life?
She is cursed with really bad cramps sometimes, as I was. That has been the only thing,,she was eager for the change, seems to welcome it each month. We did have a ceremony for her about 3 weeks after her first period,,with women in her life coming with blessing or a poem or a song, prayer, we all brough beads to make her a beautiful necklace,,it was a special evening for us all, sitting around the table talking about becoming a woman, telling the "period tales"..you know, how you managed to get out of math class that time you leaked on your pants,, so on.
Was she embarrassed for her dad to know? How did you deal with this?
That was almost as funny as how she told me. I am remarried, so she is very close to her step but now adoptive father. As soon as she blurted to me that she got her period that morning, she insisted on calling him on his cell phone to tell him! (wasn't sure how he would take that!) He had a flower arrangement sent to her at school..pretty sweet how close they are, and how open she is with him. He felt lucky that she wanted to tell him like that.
My dd got hers right after she turned 12. She was embarrased for anyone to know. She had planned on using cloth pads, but changed her mind & will only use disposable. To her it signalled the end of her childhood & that really bummed her out. She did NOT want to grow up!
She wanted no aknowledgment of any kind.
Only now at 14 1/2 is she able to be more relaxed about it - and just a bit more relaxed at that!
How old was your daughter when she started her period?
Trystan was almost 10. Summer before 5th grade.
How did she deal with it? Happy? Embarrassed?
She was pleased, but not prepared. What I mean is she was talking about getting her period, but wasn't able to really handle what that meant...umm like not leaving a mess in the bathroom, changing her pads before they leaked, and what not. She is much better now! But she has now been dealing with it for 4 years. (wow that is a long time!)
What does she prefer to use, supply wise? She uses disposable pads. She has used some cloth ones and has said she wants to use them but is embarrassed about using them at school. She says cloth is more comfortable, but can't get over using them at school
What were her biggest hardships, or none, with this new change in her life?
Umm the cramps and PMS are the worse. She gets really grumpy right before her period and has cramps for the first couple of days. She swears by Midol. Her face also breaks out really bad right before she starts. It gives us a warning of what is to come.
Was she embarrassed for her dad to know? How did you deal with this?
Nah...it embarrassed DH, which means Trystan wants to talk about it as often as she can/ She loves bugging her dad!
Anything else I need to know?!?
You can handle this You can't do worse then me. We were shopping when Trystan started. She came out of the restroom and told me that she had started and I started telling no honey you couldn't have started, you are too young. She had to convince me that yes she did start. I felt so bad!
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Mama to Trystan 8-16-90, Ty 5-12-93, Gracie 6-19-95, Gavin 1-22-99 and sweet Emilianne Elizabeth Rose 4-18-03
Written by GladRags own Michelle A. L. Singer, Passage is a comprehensive menstruation guide for girls. Biology, history, menstrual options, the moon and emotional health come together in a lively, positive approach to menstruation. Written with the health of bodies, attitudes, and the environment in mind, this book provides a great introduction to an important new phase of life.
I thought that this book might be helpful or at least interesting.
I don't have any daughters, but I can tell you about when i got mine.
I had just had my eleventh birthday. I remember it was morning and I came out of the bathroom and told my parents. They were both so excited and happy for me - I believe I got hugged. The first thing I did at school was tell my teacher - who was also the principal.
I can't remember which pads I used first - I think maxithins and then I switched to sillouettes. I never used tampons and had never even heard of cloth.
I had and sometimes still have horrific cramps. I also had very, very heavy periods - I learned to put pads in my underwear crossways so that when I slept at night I had a better shot at not leaking. I also slept on a towel.
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tyuipos?? NAK
Rivka; mother of A, N, and R & the twins
Mine hasn't gotten her's yet. But one thing that she has devoured is The Period Book. She enjoyed it so much that dh read it too. (He received zero education on this subject ~ but being the father of 3 girls, he figured he'd better get up to speed). She's only 10 but so far it seems to mean alot to her that he's interested in the subject & will talk about it.
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Re: Those with older girls...period questions...help me please...
Quote:
Originally posted by ~Denise~ How old was your daughter when she started her period?
I only have boys so I'll talk about myself. I was 12.
How did she deal with it? Happy? Embarrassed?
I was pretty happy. It seemed like such a competition to see who would get it first, so I was relieved. I even knew girls who lied about it.
What does she prefer to use, supply wise?
I used Maxithins. My dad had said no tampons, but got overruled when I got my period the morning of the 4th of July swim party. Started with Tampax, switched to Playtex and sometimes o.b. I have to say as a teen I would have been too embarrased to use cloth or a Keeper, so don't take it personally if she prefers disposables.
What were her biggest hardships, or none, with this new change in her life?
I was a heavy bleeder; I could go through a super plus tampon and a pad every hour on my heavy days. It was tough trying to change between each class. I would also leak, so I always had a sweatshirt with me.
Was she embarrassed for her dad to know? How did you deal with this?
I was, and for my brothers too. Eventually I got over it.
Anything else I need to know?!?
Trust your daughter if she says she got it. My mom looked at my panties and then made me lie down while she looked at my vulva. Talk about embarrassing! Also, I hated being told "You're a woman now" by my grandmother. In general I wan't a woman; American girls get their periods so early. I was a girl with a functioning reproductive system.
AKA Give me some support and ideas and whatever the hell else here...I think *I* am having a harder time with this than she is...but I really do not want to be. Sigh.
Thank you...
You can't do worse then me. We were shopping when Trystan started. She came out of the restroom and told me that she had started and I started telling no honey you couldn't have started, you are too young. She had to convince me that yes she did start. I felt so bad!
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