Thanks mamas. Really I needed to talk it over w/dh. Mostly I am absolutely sick over being in this position *yet again* in such a short period of time, and I feel like a failure.

But, as my wonderful dh keeps reminding me, we can't change the past, only learn from it.
Moving forward...we've made a decision.
ETA, Maryalene - no you didn't upset me at all. I just posted something that I really needed to talk over w/dh, and he wasn't available at the time.