Location: firmly planted in the postmodern pastoral economy
Posts: 12,991
Birthday planning...
So as most of you know, both my kids' birthdays are Aug 22. This is the first year Katie has asked for her *own* party. She will be 9, and Jake will be 7.
So what I'm planning to do, is have her invite 3 (girl) friends to sleep over - that is what she wants. It will be easy - movies and popcorn popped on the stove, cupcakes or a full cake of her choice for celebrating (I'll bake it). We have a new above ground pool, and the trampoline and a sprinkler that goes underneath/through it, so I anticipate them having a blast without too much effort on my part. Jake will sleep with us that night, and we'll set up sleeping bags on the floor in her room. Super easy, fun, simple. If I have energy and they want to, we'll do pedicures, or style each other's hair, or something similarly girly and fun - but I'm pretty sure they'll amuse themselves quite nicely.
Jake's party, I'm planning to keep simple and fun as well. Again, the pool and trampoline provide a natural focus for the party. For his I plan to invite just our neighbor families, kids he's used to having over - last year when friends from school showed up he freaked and spent half the party in his room having a meltdown! We'll grill hot dogs and hamburgers and veggie burgers, serve some chips and dip and salads, cupcakes or a cake.
So all of that to say - I have the parties under control and planned. My area of concern is PRESENTS.
We're quite broke - no extra at all right now - because we took on an extra car payment and ins and we haven't done the HEL yet to consolidate CC bills - have been waiting to see if Matt got this job because then maybe we'd wait and just try to pay them off rather than do a HEL.
Katie is "saving my money for a dirt bike," - I think she means a mountain bike, LOL! She asked her grandma for "just money" towards it. (Good girl!) Jake has shown some interest/skill in riding a bike as well, but doesn't have one. So, I thought a great gift would be a bike for each of them. BUT - that's rather spendy. And we only have dirt driveway, and dirt roads that are too dangerous (few cars, but those that do go 40-50 mph) for them to ride on alone (not to mention steep and hard to pedal on). Plus, if we get them for Aug 22, they will have about six to eight weeks of riding before it's too cold or snows. So, is it a waste? Katie has a used and somewhat rusty bike that she rarely rides right now. I feel like Jake doesn't even have a chance to learn to ride because of lack of a bike, but he could use Katie's.
The other thing Katie's asked for, for birthday and/or Christmas, is Playmobil - she is in love with this stuff, suddenly (she loves imaginary play and creates elaborate scenes and storylines with it).
Thanks if you made it through this. I *ought* to be writing, but I had this on my mind and needed to talk it out with someone. I just can't quite figure out if spending $$ on bikes is wise or foolish! I'm leaning toward foolish...
(And, I wish I could say - hey, here's the pool, it cost us $130 to get the dirt for it, and even though it was paid for by a grant for Jake for sensory stuff, it's for both of you, and there ya go - there's your present, happy birthday, LOL. We are also getting a mini tramp, so that could be part of it. I almost wish I hadn't told Katie it was part of a grant! Also I just bought her riding boots and pants that cost a freaking fortune, but she just looked at me so strangely when I said "That is part of your birthday gift." Finally, my sensitive-to-chlorine girl wants the $200 sal****er pool system to keep the water clean - I would love to do that, but again, it's $$!)
__________________ Be realistic: Plan for a miracle. ~Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
The statements contained herein have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
Any products mentioned are not intended to treat, cure, mitigate or prevent any disease.
Location: firmly planted in the postmodern pastoral economy
Posts: 12,991
Honestly? Nothing else. Books - Katie devours them, Jake is in love with them. There is nothing else they need/want/desire. They have a bazillion toys, Katie inherited a veritable American Girl doll fortune from an older cousin, and Jake doesn't play with many toys appropriately (and those that we want to teach him how to play with, are packed away in the basement and getting taken out one at a time...we have plenty of that, and Playmobil type stuff is the focus since we're working on symbolic/dramatic play).
I just ordered the salt water pool system. I feel guilty. Definitely not in the realm of "not buying it." But, we are doing the HEL and have a chunk set aside for home improvement/etc and a few things are coming to less than we had set aside, so it will be okay. I am actually considering pitching the pool as the big present, and buying them a few inflatables for it. My mom just told me today that she is getting them each one $15-20 gift (and I suggested small Playmobil sets, LOL!) and sending them $100 each! So I am actually thinking it would be good for Katie to contribute all her birthday money and saved money toward a bike, and see if we can find an end of season deal on one, and then if she's short about $50 (what I'm guessing), I'll put that amount in. For Jake, I'm not sure yet what to get him - a bike too, or something else. This way, Katie feels like she is contributing to her bike, I'm still giving her a present (but it isn't me buying a $200 bike flat out, I'm only spending $50, which is what I usually spend on each kid for b-day...).
Oh I'm such a rambler today...thanks for listening to me talk it out.
Well, a bike doesn't have to cost $200. In fact, that is pretty excessive for a kids bike.
They are going to grow a lot and will need new ones again in the next few years. I do think saving for part of it is an amazing accomplishment and she should get what she likes within reason.
Also, remember 6-8 weeks to a kid is a loooonnnnggggg time. They'll have a blast.
If you can't afford it though, you just can't . There is nothing wrong with that. The flip to that is that buying the top-of-the-line is just not wise. It just isn't. The time for top-of-the-line is later when they don't need to size up IMO.
Geez I'm bossy!
__________________
************
My Parenting Blog! Respond with Love
I ran the Inaugural Fresno Marathon and lived to tell the tale!
Love on granite Let go of all your heart’s holding
Everything weighing you down
And lay here with me, let the world be
For now
~Catie Curtis -For Now- from the Sweet Life album~
****************************************
Location: firmly planted in the postmodern pastoral economy
Posts: 12,991
Is it too much? I just looked quickly when we first moved here, at the local bike shop, and he showed me entry-level, not top of the line...a kids' mountain bike. We need mountain bikes - no paved roads at all in our town. Maybe I should look elsewhere, hmm?? It seemed like a lot to me, but what do I know.
I seem to be having tact issues lately so please forgive me if I came off as harsh.
A bike shop will cost a small fortune. Also, you don't necessarily need a "mountain bike". You just need a bike with nice wide and fat tires. A child might not need 21 gears right now. The fewer gears, the less-expensive the bike normally. You can find a nice bike w/fat tires and even hand brakes that will work great on really difficult roads.
I would look on-line for bikes with free shipping and handling since you would rather not shop at a wal-mart or similar. Costco.com has some bikes. Even with buying a low-level membership for use on-line, it is still cheaper than $200 per bike.
I am 100% for shopping local, but if you don't have $200, shopping local doesn't create that $200 in your pocket. Also, if the kids really get into the sport, then you can really use that local store as a resource and a place to buy then.
There are all sorts of off-brands that would be cheaper too I'm sure. I just looked up those two brands since I know you see like you feel more comfortable buying known brands of items. I don't really feel that way until I am looking at a specialty item OR the "bike for life".
Location: firmly planted in the postmodern pastoral economy
Posts: 12,991
Nope I'm not particular about brands. I'd rather not get it at Walmart, true - but then I have a massive made in China PVC pool I just got through Walmart (grant money but still), so who am I to be picky. And my problem w/online is that I feel the child really needs to get on the bike and make sure it's a good fit - I have no idea what size to get her. I think she wants to pick it out, yk? But, we could take her in to the bike shop, see what size is right, then buy it online.
I agree, no need for 21 gears, LOL. But I don't think I've seen the type of bike you are talking about. Not that I have looked much. I see things like this, D!ck's is a not-so-local retailer (1.5 hr drive each way to buy something like this in person):
I just threw out $200 in my post above, as I was kind of thinking aloud (and my bad, I should think more before I post). I was really just guessing based on me having gone into the local bike shop when we first moved here and asked the guy what he'd recommend. I haven't done any research. Nope, doesn't have to be a mountain bike per se, but she will be riding on off-road/backcountry trails (that is what's around here) and hilly/steep dirt roads (we live on a mountain). Again, by using the term "mountain bike" I'm just meaning something with big, fat, wide tires with good treads and at least a few speeds so she can get up the hill back home.
For Jake's I was certainly going to get a cheapy bike that he could just ride around on the grass/driveway...I didn't expect to pay $200 for his.
You sounded a little curt, but I'm pretty hard to offend. I actually really appreciate the input - obviously I need to do some research, and I haven't. The only way you were "harsh" is to assume that I'd researched and decided to buy her a top of the line mountain bike. And that I'm brand conscious or something. Nope, just hadn't looked into it that far - assumed that was about what one had to spend. I remember my Schwinn that I won in the Rice Krispies cereal box drawing contest when I was 7 was $100 way back then (what, 1980), so I can't imagine getting a bike much cheaper than that. But ya know, I don't get out much, ROFL. I don't get to comparison shop in person, and haven't had a chance to do it online, either.
I think I've decided what to do, anyway. I am going to let her save all her money for her bike. She should have enough to pay for all of it (my aunt and cousin tend to send her small checks for bday). And if not she can save and get it in the spring. The pool, salt water system, and pool toys will be the kids' gift from me and Matt. Plus her riding boots and pants (I still can't believe I spent the $ I spent on those, it was basically the whole birthday budget and a weak moment and bad planning on my part) - she was told if she wanted to keep them, they needed to be at least part of her bday present. With the $100 J is getting I can get him a bike, or I can save it and get his in spring. I will probably buy them each a small something so they have something to open. And that's all.
I didn't even mean brand-conscious in a bad way. I think there is a time and place for such a thing. I know you know this. Sometimes buying a product w/a brand name is the right thing to do.
I think I read too fast too. I read it as "We're broke, but we're considering buying them $200 mountain bikes for their birthday". I jumped in with my fire extinguisher instead of reading it more than once to see if there was a fire.
I panic out of love, not disrespect. It's that slippery slope thing. You're just almost at the top and I didn't want you sliding back down again.
Location: firmly planted in the postmodern pastoral economy
Posts: 12,991
ROFL. I appreciate your words of caution. I came back to post "look at how cranky and defensive I got, but Stacy you know I love you - enough to bicker with you like a sister once in a while!" I think I took it defensively because yes, we are broke on a day to day basis/monthly cash flow basis and yes I'm considering buying them both bikes. And YES this is the crux of my problem w/finances - and I posted here at least partly for that accountability.
The problem is, we've been living on quite a low income, with rather high basic expenses and only a few hundred left over for food, gas, clothing and everything else, for going on nine or ten years now. I tend to jump to putting a present on the CC because, well, that's what I've always done. Sigh.
I think I really earnestly want to find a way to figure out how to make this birthday work within reason. It's not going to work within our budget from our checking account, let's put it that way - I paid for the riding boots/pants with a check and now have to put off some utilities till the 15th. This is a sudden crunch though, that we knew we'd face or chose to face when we did a couple of financial juggles. Ongoing things *were* going fine before we took on the second car payment and delayed applying fort the HEL.
Anyway, I read too fast too - and sorry I got defensive and jumpy. I *am* glad you said something. I honestly haven't researched the bike thing, and am actually really glad I can get them each something decent for way less than that...if that's what I end up doing at all.
I have been thinking all afternoon about the guilt I feel about "providing my kids with stuff" that led me to buy the riding boots and pants (a whole other story, I should write an essay about it - I had no idea what we were getting into as far as price, it was right before closing and she was going to camp on Sunday morning, it was something I didn't want to buy the entire time we were there, as I paid for it, and as I walked out and drove home) - anyway, I've been thinking about that all afternoon and how I absolutely *need* to address that.
Thanks for ...well, everything. I'm glad to have you as a friend. I only wish you lived down the road from me.
Last edited by mamabear : 08-03-2007 at 09:07 PM.
Reason: just to clarify a few words and omit a sentence i wrote twice :-)
There is a great bike shop in Burlington that has a bike swap in the spring and I'm not sure if they have one in the fall or not. We bought M's bike this spring for $45 or so. It's probably 2-3 years old and still in great shape. They won't sell box store bikes, so they are good quality bikes at a great price. They also swap strollers and trailers and such. It might be worth a call to them to see if they still have any used bikes or when the next swap will be. They are less than 5 min from the airport.
Location: firmly planted in the postmodern pastoral economy
Posts: 12,991
Awesome!! Thanks Kaight. I remember hearing about that swap on the radio when we first moved here, now that you mention it. I will call them tomorrow. Hey I did mention we will be in Burlington on the 11th? Wanna meet up? Matt's plane doesn't get in until 4:20 and Katie really wanted to see the farmer's market - last time we were there it was just closing up and she was bummed. So we were going to go early and make a day of it.
More rambling because I can't seem to make my point, but I think I hit on what I'm not saying clearly about my whole decision-making process and dilemma. Basically this will be no money out of my pocket if Katie saves her birthday money for it and I use J's birthday money from my mom for his. I'm just feeling like I'm cheaping out by doing that - not getting them a cheap bike but because I won't be spending any money on their presents myself. I've spent money on the pool this summer, the boots and pants, about $100 of other stuff for camp (extra sunscreen, shampoo, clip on fan, etc etc, $20 for each canteen/camp store), and I am feeling weird about saying "Happy birthday kids, here's your pool, we worked hard on setting it up and put a good bit of our own money into it, and here's your inflatable dolphin ride on toy!" But why should I? Should I? AND, we're broke - not in a big way but in a gift-on-the-CC-paid-off-next-month way. AND, I'm giving them both proper birthday parties. I feel like that's enough, but I feel like I'm being stingy or that I'll be ruining their birthdays.
See? I'm just wacked. I knew when I started the not buying it this year that I would never include the kids' birthdays. Sigh. I'm hopeless.
See, at least we talk often enough to bicker. My own sister and I don't even do that.
That bike swap sounds perfect and wonderful! Wish I was coming to Burlington soon.
You do bring up an interesting thought though. If I get money to spend and I don't have to dip into my pot, I consider it a windfall not a cop out. I'm thrilled when I have to spend very little out of pocket. You are absolutely not ruining their birthdays. You've given them the gift of camp, a pool, etc... It is so wonderful and meaningful that you can give them these experiences. You are in no way stingy, and if your kids think you are, that might be something to mull over as well.
I am, by all means, not the end-all, be-all of saving and earning, but I will share a little tip that helped us.
In times of true financial hardship, I had to think in $5 increments. I got in the most trouble when I still thought in terms of $50's and $100's and using $20 as my starting point, when all I really had was $5. If I thought of 5's, I could consider two ice cream cones a treat. $10 was a dvd rental, microwave popcorn, and a soda. $15 (I was starting to get in trouble)... It was helpful to start my "mental negotiating" at $5 and work up or not. I rarely went from $5 to $50 yk?
I'd absolutely love to have you and your family as neighbors. If only I liked snow...
Thanks for having the grace to forgive my foot in mouth disease.
Here's my 2 cents, because well, ya know, you need them LOL. Buy smallish playmobil sets for each of them-- something 25 bucks or so (or get your mama to look at stores like Tuesday Morning or Marshalls or the like, they have good deals on Playmobil. Target is also doing a HUGE toy clearance, so thats another place to look). Get them each a nice book, and a pool float. You can even have them share a 35ish set and just get them both a book and float, and you can prob get away for 50-60. You have spent a little money, given them several useful gifts, and everyone is happy.
The reason I am voting this way btw is because Katie won't want toys for very many more years. If this is something that they really play with, then I would encourage it (says the woman with more Little People than the law should allow, LOL)
__________________
Heather , mama to Liam, born 12-19-01, and Simon, born 04-17-05 wife to Mark, married 09-23-97
My area of concern is PRESENTS.
I feel guilty. Definitely not in the realm of "not buying it." But, we are doing the HEL and have a chunk set aside for home improvement/etc and a few things are coming to less than we had set aside, so it will be okay. I am actually considering pitching the pool as the big present, and buying them a few inflatables for it. My mom just told me today that she is getting them each one $15-20 gift (and I suggested small Playmobil sets, LOL!) and sending them $100 each! 
It's that slippery slope thing. You're just almost at the top and I didn't want you sliding back down again.
Linear Mode
