I need a motivational kick in the @ss.

[ThirtySomething]

I'm up to my old spending tricks. I have found my trigger though! Oddly enough it is "unexpected expenses" that make me spend more.

I had to spend $217 on the plumber this week and that made me want to buy takeout dinner and clothing for the baby. I have a looming expense of $178 for the dog's medicine and I am having an internal struggle not to buy something else.

I need to stop myself from doing that. Since February, we've had almost $3000 in unexpected expenses. It is wreaking havoc on my brain. We were able to pay it by using my kitchen remodel money and also some of the tax return.

I have the rest of the tax return in savings so it will be there if we need it. However, I am so upset about the kitchen remodel money. How stupid is that? I feel no closer to completing the project than I was 4 years ago. I could probably do it if I could just stop my stupid spending and hold some more back.

My house feels like a huge unfinished project that I will never have the money to complete.

So, that is my whine. I have no right to complain. So many of you are working so hard to get out of debt. I'm so proud of you. I really am. Keep working.

[Sandi]

I can relate on on some points

It's saving and having a 0 balance after everything is paid that triggers my desire to spend. It's screwed up - I see no money, so I'm trying to figure out how to return/exchange anything I've still got around to buy more stuff for no good reason.

It's so hard for me. It just doesn't come naturally - it feels like punishment. Isn't that sad?

Is there anything you could use for Miss Sweetness? As I go through re-packaging our storage and outgrown things, I could keep an eye out. She's SO big sitting up in your siggy. Made me smile this morning

[ThirtySomething]

Originally Posted by ChasingChe

It's so hard for me. It just doesn't come naturally - it feels like punishment. Isn't that sad?

My upbringing really clouds this. I was brought up with the fact that we didn't have a ton of money to waste. It was sort of a "You must appreciate this because you are lucky you have it" upbringing. We never needed for anything, and quite frankly, didn't want much either. However, our family went through a crisis when we really did not have money and I felt like my dad had cried wolf all that time. Suddenly, our frugalness turned very extreme.

I think I'm afraid of that now. I struggle between "living a little" and "saving a lot in case something bad happens."

Is there anything you could use for Miss Sweetness? As I go through re-packaging our storage and outgrown things, I could keep an eye out. She's SO big sitting up in your siggy. Made me smile this morning

I can't believe how big she is. Thank you for your kind words. You are very sweet to offer too. She probably doesn't "need" anything. She gets some hand-me-downs and I have some things for the next season already. If you find something you want to pass down, that would be fine, but don't worry if you don't get to it. There might be another baby girl in your future!

[mamabear]

I think it's great that you have found your trigger. Isn't it incredible, how emotional this money thing can get, and how much of it is influenced by how money has been tied to emotions in the past?

I think I might have a similar trigger...it's like if we have to spend money on something we need, I might as well get this or that that I have been waiting for or not buying because of money...how can I have the money for the repair or need but not for the want? I might as well indulge it all...My thoughts go something like this.

Right now I could use some motivation too. I'm swimming in a sea of unmet *needs* and not sure how to wrangle it all to come out properly within our means. The temptation is to throw caution to the wind and get all the needs and some wants too! But I'm trying to keep the reins tight.

[Katie]

Kudos for finding your trigger. That's fantastic.

I can see similarities in my own life. Already bleeding money, just keep the vein open.

It's a struggle but I do feel a bit of success only because I've stayed on budget....which I've never really done before. But I also haven't paid anything down and I am spending:

*Some fabric that I made myself feel ok about because I got rid of stash at the same time.
*Birthday gifts.


I can feel my perspective changing and try not to get down on myself because just a shift is a success in itself. I think so anyway. Old dog trying to learn new tricks, yk.

[Sandi]

Katie - I love that analogy. It instantly made me think "uh huuuuh - exactly!"

[waterlily]

I understand, I think. We just got slammed with a septic pumping, oil bill and dental bill all at once. It can't all get paid this month. The kids need summer clothes and bathing suits. And everyone's birthday is in April, May, June. We just finally got current with all the bills and are dedicated to not putting anything on credit. But it really hurts to not be able to pay for this stuff right now and it makes me feel like saying, "screw it, I am just going to put the girls stuff on credit and get some stuff for me while I'm at it." Because credit isn't real. But every year since we moved to this house we have been buying on credit and paying it off with the tax return. And the stuff that needs to get done on the house, etc, gets put off another year. Probably due to this emotional spending when we feel like we don't have what we need so we might as well get something we want. (and pay for it later) Screwy.