before I shed some blood I thought we were all set to do Dave Ramsey. we were just waiting to get our tax return and a bonus. Both have come and gone. My not so DH said this week that he thinks we should just use CC if we need them and pretty much thinks we should live like that in general.
He is the one who pays the bills and handles finances and that has always been fine but it's really ticking me off now that I know how much we owe (and we can pay it off this year if we tried even without me getting a job).
How can I smack some sense into him? I really don't want to bash him in the least but what the heck is he thinking!
that's a tough one....you both have to be on board for it to work. maybe you can have a talk about it when you're not feeling emotional about it or frustrated. just ask him what he's thinking and why he doesn't want to pay it off.
__________________
~julie~
mama to savannah, jackson and baby scarlett due in 2009! STUFF I HAVE FOR SALE
Location: When I dare to be powerful -- to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
Posts: 9,502
You could also ask him what he thinks is "worth it" to put on credit. Perhaps if he was looking at a set of things he wanted it would be easier to balance between saving for those things and paying down debt. They both end up equaling the same thing over time.
For example: Dh wants new TV. Instead of paying $200 a month extra onto debt, you could put it away in a savings acct where he can use it to buy said TV when you have the cash to do it. You know? That way, he doesn't feel as though he is waiting until you have your debt gone to get the things he wants, but at the same time, you are not putting MORE on credit that is unnecessary because you have the extra to put on debt in the first place. Paying minimums for 8 mos to get him that TV he wants would be worth it, if that means that is $1600 that ISN'T on credit.
The only thing I would really put my foot down about would be little things. If you want to go out to dinner, but can't afford it and he just wants to go anyway, I would say HECK NO to that one. You know? Becuase although those are small, they build up fast, and you have very very little to show for it in the end. So it is completely not worth it IMHO.
Val
__________________
Val; Living the dream we have been working towards for over 5 years.
Mama to Alex, Cyan, and Logan. Wife to my very best friend.
Its really difficult to get a dh on track who doesn't want to be on the track. LOL Trust me, I know!
I think you might have to take a "slow & steady wins the race" approach to your dh. If you know your exact financial position that is a great first step. next you need to figure out your financial goals & consider what it will take to acheive them. Consider the big picture. Retirement & all that. Then start gently bringing your thoughts to your dh & discussing them.
I know that my dh ran the $ show for years. he was also very very bad with money. After quite a few years of marriage I put my foot down & took over the $. I would get things great, he would take over again & screw it all up. It wasn't til we bought this house (that he insisted we could afford) & we lost all of our saving trying to keep afloat that he finally realized I was right & now I call all the $ shots. he really wishes he had listened to me all those years ago. If he had we would be in an amazing finanacial position. Because he did not we are struggling, which someone with his income should NOT be doing!
Read lots of $ books & watch lots of shows about money (Suze Orman,etc). Start talking about the interest rate on your home, money market accounts & things. Your dh will be way intimidated by your obvious wealth of knowledge that far exceeds his. LMAO
It took years to get us on pretty much the same page. Now that DH is finally convinced that what the Joneses have isn't all that fabulous, we are making great strides.
The statements contained herein have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.
Any products mentioned are not intended to treat, cure, mitigate or prevent any disease.
eh, my dh isnt on the same page at all... he says one thing then the atm receipts come flowing in. He is on board about not buying big things... but he $6 and $8's us to death running to the gas station for soda and chips...150 in two weeks....
sigh... he just doesn't get it.. oh well... hopefully we will figure it out eventually....
__________________ ~Selena~
Mama to Daniel (5/00), Anna (5/02) & Chloe (11/05) All natural soaps, essential oils, lotions, butters, perfumes, salves and more at Motherhues!
Embroidery designs, Waldorf Inspired Doll Pattern and Handsewn Felt at Madebymotherhues.
Would you like to read my blog?
Last edited by Mamaselena : 04-23-2007 at 09:50 PM.
Location: firmly planted in the postmodern pastoral economy
Posts: 12,991
It's back and forth for us still, Selena. But baby steps...he *will* get it. Those little purchases really add up and my dh has a tendency to do that too. Matt didn't get that until he had to write down everything he spent. Then he started to realize.
I thought we were all set to do Dave Ramsey. we were just waiting to get our tax return and a bonus. Both have come and gone. My not so DH said this week that he thinks we should just use CC if we need them and pretty much thinks we should live like that in general.
If you know your exact financial position that is a great first step. next you need to figure out your financial goals & consider what it will take to acheive them. Consider the big picture. Retirement & all that. Then start gently bringing your thoughts to your dh & discussing them.
Linear Mode
