OK, so I've been thinking a lot about how I parent, how I want to parent, how I need to approach parenting and my household in general.
I've decided I really need to look at it as a job--as if I am getting paid for it, have a superior watching over me, etc. I have to think about how I would want someone to treat my children, what I would expect to get done around the house, etc.
Right now, I would not be happy if I were employing me. I would expect me to spend more time doing things with the kids. I would expect basic household chores to get done. THIS IS MY JOB. Now, of course, there are some things not taken into account, like I am at my job non-stop, with no real breaks, but, nonetheless, it helps me to think about the fact that this is my job. It is important that I present myself to my chilcren as the kind of mommy I *want* to be, even if I don't feel that way on the inside.
Anyway, just a thought. Am I setting myself up for burnout?
I don't know, but some things have to change around here, and this perspective is helping for now...
__________________ Jody
Mama to two boys (5-10-98 and 6-01-01), and two girls (11-18-03 and 1-11-07)
Oh ((hugs))....sounds LIKE burnout to me Mama. Something many, all, Mamas go through now and then. You need a break, you need a fresh day, a fresh start.....a time to get away for you, time to think and believe in you.....then a start, a fresh one, plan somethings with your kiddos, maybe consider why this happened, maybe a looser schedule, a firmer one, more time alone, more breaks, more to do.....more interaction with others. Many things cause burnout, and there are ways to fix it and help prevent it. (((HUGS)))
__________________ "Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity."
George Bernard Shaw
Jody, I think this is a wonderful way to have a "mind set shift". There are certain "jobs" we need to do, and do well. I think this form of mental accountability is good.
Just remember, employees get breaks, lunches and weekends off.
You know, at first I was suprised by Denise's reply. I was thinking this was a healthy way for me to approach things, and I think it is, but what has put me here is not so healthy.
I haven't had really any kind of break since DD was born in November. My MIL has been over a few times, and the boys play with my SIL and her and I tend to cook or clean the house. DS (33 months) wants to nurse all the time, day and night, especially night, every 2 hours on average. Between him and DD, who sleeps more, btw, I am up much of the night. Plus, I've had a toothache and a yeast infection that have been keeping me up as well. I do need a break. Actually, my boys went over to the neighbor's, and Molly fell asleep, so now I'm resisting the urge to run around and clean and sitting here on the computer.
I'm not quite sure what to do with myself....
Actually, thinking of this as a job and thinking about what I expect of myself has helped. I don't get this time back, and I do need to make some definite changes. I think it will be easier in a few more weeks (I'm hoping) when we can get outside more. Before too long, DS will be out of school and our community pool will open, and I'm hoping to spend a lot of time there this summer. Going away from home forces me to actually "be" with my kids and not get distracted with other stuff.
Anyway, this topic may not have fit on this board.
I hope my reply did not surprise you in a bad way....I jsut saw a bit mf myself in your post, of how I often think and feel when I am burned out or entering being burned out. I think it's excellent that you are thinking at all about mothering...it shows how much it means to you. But I do think your post made me think of how important it is to take care of you too. What makes you or made you feel like you were not doing a good job, kwim? Don't be hard on yourself Mama. ((HUGS))
Jody
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