Need to get out of this funk!

[3Gs4Me]

I usually do not post about negative things but man, this last month has been really crappy and has put me into a rut. I haven't even been posting much because I don't feel inspired to say or write anything helpful.

The last month has been filled with my bro's marital problems (way more to it but we will leave it at that), finding out I am pg (which is good) but that my insurance will not pay for the $3600 birthing center birth that I need to keep me away from the c-section happy dr.s in my area (Gabe was a C, Gavin was a successful V-bac, but most docs still want me to have a C even if I breathe wrong because Of having one in the past), and our washing machine took a puke this weekend which means another $400 in the hole. That all on top of my never ending feeling that I just don't fit in this mainstream area is just to much to take right now.

I have no idea how we are going to come up with $4000 of unexpected expenses in the next 7 months. I am already extremely frugal and have NO unnecessary bills so I don't know what I can do. It just all makes me so darn sad to be faced with such hard luck lately

Sorry to be a bummer and dump on everyone but at least I know here that some of you will understand how these things can impact ones life. When discussing it with my family they all think I am nuts and should just get an elective C-section because then I could pick the babies B-day

[Suzie]

Sorry you are feeling down, mama. Maybe it's this time of year as I'm starting to feel it, too.

But.....you are going to have a baby and that's always a reason to celebrate.

I say, you only birth a few times in your life. Raise as much $$$ as you can and (ducking and running here) get a loan for the rest. It's really not that much. I'm sure you can raise the bulk of the funds by then. You're a clever mama!!!

[3Gs4Me]

I do agree that this time of the year is bad. Our house has alot of windows but the roof over extends them so from Nov until Apr we get very little sunlight. It has also been very cloudy and rainy here (we actually had a thunderstorm last night) so that has added to the glumness.

Funny you mention a co-op Laurie. We are actually going tonight to check one out and are hoping to meet some more like minded people. I also want to get on board with LLL with this pregnancy but the group that is local is very mainstream and makes it seem like you only go to so many meetings and then you are done (this is a far cry from the support that I hear other AW mamas talk about).

I wish the washer was our only bill. It is true that we don't have any unnecessary bills and I just paid off all but one small CC (still owe $385 on my sewing machine interest free until June 1st). What kills us is our student loan and mortgage payments. When we bought our home I had no intention of quitting my part time college faculty job so when we decided it would be beneficial to have me be a SAHM we were hit hard by that missing $600-800 a month. Dh will either get a raise or an admin job next fall so things will look up a bit then but right now is just really rough financially.

I know that this too shall pass and fortunately my dh is taking my mood in stride. The kids have also been great with entertaining themselves with minimal strife the last couple of days.

Thanks again for your kind words.

[Chels~]

Sending some cyber {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

[mamabear]

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. {{{hugs}}}

I think going into debt for a birth is the best possible kind of debt. You don't give birth that many times in your life. It's a major, special event that has a lifelong impact on you and your child and you betcha the birth you want is worth every penny, in interest too if it has to be.

I agree w/Laurie, though - let yourself feel all the crappy feelings, don't talk yourself out of them.

Can you get a used washer for now? Until our last washer we bought used ones for $100 or so. Older, 70's Kenmores, and dh bought a manual and learned how to fix them. I shouldn't say "them" because it was actually only one that we even bought, in between using laundromats and then we had a 70's Kenmore in this house. There's one part that always goes bad on them and it's $10 and easy to fix yourself. I can't remember what it is called, LOL. Something to do with the drive. (LMK if you want more info.) Just an idea, I think a new, sturdy washer is a great investment in a house w/kids, but just an idea if you want to reduce your debt load for the moment.

[Kbsmama]

I can't type long, but please know I am thinking of you. I wish I lived just a little bit closer to you and we could be buds IRL--if you could really use a visit, let me know; I am sure the boys would have a great time together! .

I'd be glad to give you my phone number if you need someone to "talk at" in person (I know sometimes it is useful to just talk it all out out loud!!!).

Take care!

[Stargazer441]

(((hugs)))

Saw your post on the other board about finding a doc so I'm sure you're feeling somewhat better on that part.

On the washer/dryer... Lowe's has great scratch and dent sales - we got a full size upright freezer there for $50 a few months ago! If you call around and ask for their appliance department and then ask if they have any scratch and dent washers, or any on clearance, or floor models for sale, you might get lucky!

Hope things get better soon!! And here - pretend...

*~*~*~*~~sunshine~~*~*~*~*

[kerc]

hang in there.
several thoughts...kind of random order here:

re: LLL maybe there ARE other mamas like you , who want to go on a continuing basis and you can maybe lead the way? Just go with the attitude that you want to be an example for the new moms, and maybe some others will stick around with you. When I started going to LLL in Nov 2002 there were 3 mamas at the meetings. Now the room is so full we don't have enough space. I think we just all kept coming back and now there are new mamas still coming.

re: washer. we are soooo there right now. We just had ours fxed yesterday and the guy said it would be a good time to start shopping sales. Bummer. And I can't live without a washer.

re: vbac, etc. Don't give up on what you want. People told me I was lucky to have had a csection too. I thought they were crazy.

[TeresaLock]

Sorry mama that things are rough right now. Maybe you can do some sewing and whatnot to help raise some money. I could think of 2 projects that i'd love to pay someone to do (LOL) Hopefully by the time the baby gets here your dh's raise will have come into play and that will help. Oh, can you possibly refi to get a better rate and help out? good luck

[volvomom]

I was thinking if all else fails why not go to the hospital at the last possible moment so that birth is imminent (SP?) KWIM?

I am thinking positive thoughts for you.

Warmly,
Debra

[3Gs4Me]

I found out that my family practitioner can deliver babies at two local hospitals. I am going to go with him because he has many of the same beliefs as us (homeschool, AP, natural labor, no vaxx, etc...)

I also am hiring a doula who is almost certified as a midwife so I will be able to labor at home as long as possible. I feel pretty good about this situation now and can finally relax a bit.

[mamabear]

Oh, that's wonderful! Sounds like a good situation all around.