Dh spent all our extra money on me this month for v-day & still, I cant control myself. I have never EVER been like this! I used to be so frugal, I never spent so much as a dime on just me stuff for nearly all of our marraige (we have been married for 10 yrs) except for when I absolutely needed clothes & then I always bought just enough, at discount places like ross & still tried to get it on sale & now I am just going crazy spending! And where will the $ come from? Our food budget. Not that its so bad - we still havent used up all the wheat products in the house (going off for allergies - esp the baby's),so we have plenty of food really. But still.....
Fabric. I just *had* to get fabric. I did get $10 off $30 - but did I really need that fabric? And there is more that I want, but I am trying to sell stuff to buy it - but I told dh I was going to return some of that stuff - and I definitely didnt say I was gonna buy fabric with the $ !
sigh..... off to go sew - cant spend any money doing that!
Location: When I dare to be powerful -- to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
Posts: 9,469
Be gentle... very gentle.
Do not feel so terrible. Try to be really easy and see that perhaps this is a phase you need to go through to see the true benifit of being frugal again. I have done it... I think we all have. It is our beromiter for telling us the difference between where we want to be, and where we are. And it is important to know when you have stepped over the line and when you are getting something that you will use and love with the "money you can not spend." I have gone and gotten a beer with the ladies a couple evenings when it has been on the CC or out of a budget that it was NOT designed for, and I bet you (just BET you) that the sanity saving grace of being out with a group of stressed out mamas, and having a couple beers SAVED us money... money that would have taken the entire family out to dinner the next night had anything gone ari in my day and I had NOT taken that time to destress regardless of our monitary situation.
Love Val
PS... very gentle.
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Val; Living the dream we have been working towards for over 5 years.
Mama to Alex, Cyan, and Logan. Wife to my very best friend.
Someone told me this weekend, just beacuse you "mess up" (so to say) in your plans, doens't mean you quit. You keep working towards your goal, and realize that everyone has setbacks. Everyone. Everyone on a diet has the inevitable splurge. Everyone trying to quit smoking strugles not to give in. Spending is a habit. Sometimes a good one, but sometimes a bad one. I've read it takes 17 (or 21??) days for somthing to become a habit. So maybe instead of trying to set a goal of non-spending for the rest of your life (seems very daunting and unduable and easy togive up on) maybe set a goal that you wont spend anything for so many days, and then you get a small reward(like a $5 gift) and then try for a bit longer with rewards at each goal met until you find you don't need it anymore and YOU are in control again. Start little, but aim high! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! You are NOT a failure, you just took 1 step back instead of one forward!
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Allison mama to:
DH (lol), Chrissy 15, Mikhail 12, Kiera 10, Kivett 8, Aislinn 6, Alannah 3, and fresh from the oven Kian Oliver-Bell 11/15/07
Location: When I dare to be powerful -- to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.
Posts: 9,469
Put me on the frugal faliure list for today... grrr... I hate it when I know that I should not, but I just want to splurge. Oh well... I am being as gentle as I can, and I know tomorrow is a new day... I am going to spend today making menu plans and updating my notebook for this year. That will make me feel back on track...
I have also decided that I am only going to spend once a week. On anything. Groceries, toiletries, etc... everything. If I can narrow it down to one day, it will make it easier to see how much I am spending. When I go every other day (or whatever), to make it easier on me or the kids, I end up getting lunch out, or getting something that is not on the list, because it seems as though I am not spending as much. So if I run all my money stops in one day a week (or every other week if I can get organized again) it will add up in my head more accuately I think.
OH and I have decided that when I need to get ONE thing, I am sending dh... he honestly does better at getting just one thing than me. Funny, but true. (send him with a list however and I will get 25 different forms of "on sale" junk food. :men: )
Thanks mamas You know, its the computer that has been my downfall. For the first 6 yrs of my marraige I spent virtually no $ unless it was for the house & kids. And hardly any at that. But since I've been online its gotten steadily worse & worse.... I hope now that I've got a sewing machine it will get better - I can sew for my kids & myself soon instead of buying from all the WAHMs. Thats my biggest downfall. I'm going to try to not feel so bad about sewing purchses, because they arent all that pricey & they benefit my family,and it feeds my need for creativity. I dont buy clothings & such for myself too often. I definitely feel guilty about a lot, but maybe I dont need to quite so much. I did spend a ton on yarn & wool lately, but I will be making blankets & soakers & things with that, which benefits my family as well.....
okay. I just need to rein it in a bit. I can do that. I am going to commit to bringing a bunch to the thrifts tomorrow & I wont buy an more yarn or wool til I use what I have. I'm trading a bunch of my fabric, as I dont feel experienced enough to use really nice right now anyway & I need the space in the house. I'm gonna get cracking at all my crafts & get things in order.
(seems very daunting and unduable and easy togive up on) maybe set a goal that you wont spend anything for so many days, and then you get a small reward(like a $5 gift) and then try for a bit longer with rewards at each goal met until you find you don't need it anymore and YOU are in control again. Start little, but aim high! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! You are NOT a failure, you just took 1 step back instead of one forward!
You know, its the computer that has been my downfall. For the first 6 yrs of my marraige I spent virtually no $ unless it was for the house & kids. And hardly any at that. But since I've been online its gotten steadily worse & worse.... I hope now that I've got a sewing machine it will get better - I can sew for my kids & myself soon instead of buying from all the WAHMs. Thats my biggest downfall. I'm going to try to not feel so bad about sewing purchses, because they arent all that pricey & they benefit my family,and it feeds my need for creativity. I dont buy clothings & such for myself too often. I definitely feel guilty about a lot, but maybe I dont need to quite so much. I did spend a ton on yarn & wool lately, but I will be making blankets & soakers & things with that, which benefits my family as well.....
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