amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

shaymic · 05-09-2002, 12:28 AM

I'd love to join a list like this!!

Our problem is we HAVE a lot of money put away, so that gives us the illusion we are okay, when we have all this debt that is basically cancelling out our retirement funds

Df disagrees with me and says we are making more on our money put away than we are paying in interest but I don't think so. Oh well. B, he was impressed with your post, but I dunno if he's willing to do anything about it. Truthfully, I have to cut back too, been buying too much. Especially online. And the wedding...ARGH.

Anyhow, daily inspiration would be a nice thing

arasmama · 05-09-2002, 12:39 AM

B, instead of fly lady you could be debt lady

It helps to have someone there supporting you besides dh! B is my 'get outta debt' friend. Whenever I buy something (like the digital camera) I have to justify it to Bernice. We will be out of debt this year!!! Whoohoo! And we will never be in debt again! That includes a mortgage. Next everyone has to read "Mortgage Free!"

tandemmama · 05-09-2002, 01:37 AM

We need help too! this is something we are struggling with big time. I've got a job interview this weekend because we cannot keep our heads out of water. We always pay our bills first. I have every bill for the month written down in a notebook with the due date and amount and I cross it off when paid. dh gets paid twice a month so I split them up and subtract them from his pay to show what we have to spend on groceries and gas. on payday I sit down and pay the bills for that half of the month and we immediately go grocery shopping. I make my list based on a 2 week menu that I write. We don't buy soda or chips or snacks. We barely have enough to buy the groceries to get us through the 2 weeks. with gas we usually end up putting it on a credit card or picking a bill not to pay and push forward so we can buy the gas. Right now I've got 3 bills from last payday not paid and the next payday won't be enough to cover it all so I'll have to push something else forward. this is not working

part of our debt is from a voluntary repo. 5 years ago. We still owe them this money and so every bank that we've got to for debt consolidation turns us down. I don't know what else we can do to pay this off. We are already depriving ourselves. we can't go out to eat at all, much less spend less on it. Right now we have 6 days until payday and only enough groceries for 3 more dinners. The kids need summer clothes and I've been out of some beauty essentials (shaving gel and powder foundation) for a couple of months now. We don't do birthday presents or mother's day/father's day at all. I don't see any other choice but for me to go to work. We have about $25,000 total debt with our loans and cc and car. We don't have cable and only have internet becasue it's a contract, so we have to keep it for 2 more years at least.

We are ready to file bankruptcy....any ideas??

mom2anj · 05-09-2002, 01:57 AM

Thank you so much for this post--you have truly inspired me.

And I would love a group--it would be great to support each other and share ideas.

herc · 05-09-2002, 02:06 AM

tandemmama--
i dont have much time to post right now, but have you considered credit counseling??/ We went through Genus credit management. They will "consolidate" your debt into one payment that they draft from your account. It is NOT a loan though-- they simply work with your creditors to lower your interest-- boy I am feeling like a commercial--lol! But it really woked for us-- we still have some debt-- I have student loan we havent started paying on yet, and we owe on our house, and both vehicles (although one of these is from consolidating thae last bit of our debt-- we basically used the vehicle as collateral) Anyway, both vehicles will be paid off in Dec., then we plan to start putting that money towards my student loans-- my economic deferrment should end around then !

Anyway, through Genus we paid off about 7000 worth of debt, and then we consolidated the last little bit with a car loan so we could pay it off more quickly (and it would show positively on our credit report! Anyway, you CAN do it!!!
heather

littleturtle · 05-09-2002, 09:08 AM

Here's our story!

We each have over $26,000 in student loans. No car loans, we rent, and less than $500 in credit card debt. Our student loans are in deferrment right now, becuase we wanted to save the $400+ dollars a month for a downpayment on a house. We pay all our bills on time (excpet for the gas bil lately, becuase it's ourageous, but I got us on their budget plan last month so we'll be caught up next month)

Not too bad, you'd think, right? Well, we just ried to get pre-approved for a mortgage. Our credit SUCKS. When we first started dating, Dh wasn't paying on his student loans, and they almost went into default, so he had to do this huge repayment thing for a year. I had a credit card charged off in college (was on my own, no help from parents, and stupid!) There are like five or six collections accounts from medical bills that we had NO IDEA about. So we were denied.

Point is, check your credit, it's a real wake up call. We thought we were doing okay. Of course, we don't have any money invested for the boy's college, and nothing for retirement. We have a little over $5000 in savings, and that's it! We keep deluding ourselves into thinking because we're only in our 20's we don't need to worry about retirement yet. WRONG!

I'm all for a new forum, I think it would be a huge help to keep us all on track

05-09-2002, 12:10 PM

OK, I was really nervous about posting what I did!
I always seem to say the wrong things (sagitarius! I have 'open mouth insert feet' pretty bad!)
But, I am glad I did!
I would really love to have a forum!

I felt I needed to come forward and admit my problem.
Can not talk to anyone IRL life about it.

Dh works in this type of business, and sees it every day.
He used to get upset at our debt, now, it is, everyone else is in it, see it everyday.

Renne
How my paypal is set up is it takes money first from my paypal balance, then I have it where if there is not enough funds in my account, it takes funds from my checking account (through my debit card)
This is a good thing for me, because I am very careful about my checking accounts, and keep them balanced.

BUT, I had a little box I could check called other funding options, I had a credit card there..
Not anymore!

This works for me, because I am not going to go on a shopping spree using my checking account... some might...
You have to do what works best for you.

As I mentioned earlier, has always been hard because we do so many things already that budget cutting books suggest.
Dh takes his lunch I pack every day (he is lazy, and if I don;t pack it, he buys out, so, I pack it!), I iron his clothing for work instead of dry cleaning, I use a clothesline (except for diapers!), I buy our clothing second hand, we do not eat meat,no cable, we make our own cleaners, do not use make-up, and, except for my business shopping frenzy! I never was a big consumer,etc...

However, I see areas where WE can do better... (and I know we are in some very bad debt for our income! we are one serious case here! you may not have to do what we do!!)
I am going to go back to making our own soymilk.
I can buy a big 50 lb bag of soybeans and they last us a year.
I buy really expensive toothpaste, and to make it worse, I order it, so that really makes the cost go up with shipping! We can use baking soda and a bit of peppermint oil in it-
I splurge and buy a cartoon , ok, TWO! of chocolate silk every week, it costs $3.29 where I live, that is $368.48 plus tax a year
Because I will be making soymilk for pennies, I can make my own carob ice cream for lots less (in our $3 yard sale ice cream freezer), something I enjoy more than the silk!

Something I can do is charge actual shipping with my business!
I mis calculate terrible and lose quite a bit at the post office every week.

I know by doing these small things, that will add up to quite a bit at the end of the year!

OK, enough from me until we get a forum on this!

Mama2littleman · 05-09-2002, 01:27 PM

That's it! I'm cancelling my paypal account. The hubby and I are working our way out of debt, but reading the orignal post I realized We could have already been debt free. Since I only seem to go on spending sprees here, and on-line ... The best way to curtail that addiction is to stop using paypal. that way the money I was spending here can go to debt!

Thanks for inspiring me!

Nikki

Melony · 05-09-2002, 01:38 PM

It is so important to get your debt under control, and the sooner the better. It takes some major self-discipline, but it certainly can be done.

Please do remember me though if you are considering bankruptcy and before you go to debt consolidation companies...please???? I am a WAHM who provides debt counseling and I promise I'm not pushy or rude.

I just really like to help those who feel like their debt is beyond the point they can do it themselves...and sadly, that does happen.
My company's plan isn't for everybody, and if it doesn't fit your needs, then I wouldn't try to convince you to do it, but I would be so grateful for the opportunity to offer help!

My web site is below if you want to check it out!

maryalene · 05-09-2002, 02:04 PM

Hey B!

I had printed out your post to look it over again, and I just wanted to double-check - did you pay all your bills twice a month? So let's say, your electric bill averages out to $50.00 a month, would you pay $25.00 at each payday? And then at the end of the year, would you skip payment on utilities for a month? I've heard about your type of budgeting plan before (though never explained in such detailed) and it is my understanding that one of the best things about this method is that you actually end up making an extra payment each year on your debt. Of course, this is great for paying down debt, but probably not necessary for utilities. I'm just wondering how you dealt with this. Also, did any of the companies give you a problem about paying twice a month? I can't imagine they would, but I don't know if they would think we were being a big bother.

I tend to obsess about things and about a year ago budgeting was my big thing. I read just about everything I could find on the subject and made all sorts of budgets. I think I just found one that might work for us, but I really like your system so I might do a sample one and see how it works out for us. My biggest problem is that I love to plan and research, but when it comes to actually following through to do something, I seem to lose my motivation.

BsKnees · 05-09-2002, 05:29 PM

Maryalene- YES EXACTLY! I was going to go into that but my post was getting too long already LOL! Ok so say our budget amount is 58.00 a month, I pay 30.00 EVERY 2 weeks, so basically they are asking for 696.00 a year, but we actually pay 780.00 a year, PLUS since you are beginning to get frugal you will likely buy enviro friendly bulbs to save money, keep your furnace running less, turn down you hot water heater, line dry etc and so even though you are paying for you OLD gas/electric habits you will actually burn less and therefore at the end of you 12 month period have only used 620.00 worth of gas/electricity. This method also safe guards you if you have an exceptionally cold winter or something else that ups you bill. There is nothing worse than working hard to lower you debt only to be surprised by another! So if all goes well you will be issued a check for 160.00 at the end of the year which you can smack right down on you debt. The thing is it is really only costing pennies a day pay a little extra but in 12 months this amounts to 160.00 that likely would have never found it's way onto your debt. Last year we got natural gas price rebates from the Alberta government, since I was on a budget amount for our old consumption I never used the portion that was paid by the government, so with my slight overpaying, decreased energy usage, and Gov. rebates we got back a whooping 650.00!!! Let me tell yo how nice that was!! Our utility company does not mind that we pay extra though they do call now and then to see why we have a credit (want to know if I am a little old lady who doesn't understand my bill LOL) Allison thought that in her State the utility company wouldn't issue a cheque, in this case once it hits a certain point stop paying you bill until it runs out **BUT** make sure to then redirect that money onto you debt so that it doesn't just get absorbed and be sure to contact you utility co and tell them you are doing this so they don't get their knickers in a twist. As for motivation, I bank online and every time I see that debt drop it keeps me motivated LOL. I like that I always have access to my accounts so that I can be reminded on an ongoing basis. I have been know to log on and transfer 10.00 to the debt LOL...hey every little bit counts!!

Nikki- good for you!! I know my paypal account is one of my weak point too.

Hope- I have to come clean with ya mama....we have a carton of chocolate silk in our fridge right now too! We have yet to start making our own milk. I really would like to get a vita mix for making things like milk, nut butters, etc. I have to be able to justify to myself first though that I will be able to not only cover the cost of the vita mix but then save money in the end. Though a vita mix is certainly a more environmental choice given the waste produced when we buy soy milk. What do you use to make your milk? Just a regular blender or something else?

Littleturtleknit-why can't I remember your name mama? Even though we are doing a transaction right now? YIKES mama brain! LOL You are so right about having a credit check done, it can be a REAL eye opener! UGH. Though I must say that sometime in the future it could turn out to be pleasant experience! We look at ours now and the money lenders are always SO SO SO impressed with us, telling us we are dream clients. I always ask about dh default on his loan and they tell me oh that was 5 years ago and your credit is fantastic now...of course that is when they want to give us a BIG FAT LOAN to get us back into debt!! Because we have juggled our student loan three time we have three sizable completly paid loans on our credit bureau, and even though they are the same loan (we paid the first with the second, the second with the third and then paid it off) they don't care. They don't care if you are in debt up to your eyeballs as long as you have made all your payments on time KWIM? They really are vultures!!

herc-I don't know a lot about credit counseling, as we never did it. Plus the systems in Canada and the US work differently. Anyone who can share with me how they work, I would appreciate it. I have heard some are a scam, how does one tell the difference?

tandemama- Oh mama I have been there!! IT feels like your drowning doesn't it?! I wouldn't even open the bills when they arrived! My first suggestion would be to get "your money or your life" (from the library since that is FREE!) and follow the first few steps. This way you will get a COMPLETLY ACCURATE picture of where your money goes. Try that first mama and let us know how it goes. {{HUGS}}

Amy- I know that dh was much wore than me in the beginning but now I would say he is even better than me at not spending. He used to eat out when he worked, now he has have a "just in case" 20$ in his desk at work for over 6 months! (I think I might have spent it by now, but shhh don't tell him! LOL) It definitely helps to have a spouse who is willing to work with you. Good luck on Thursday! When the debt forum opens please let us all know how it is going.

ALLISON!!--Yes Allison has been a BIG help to me, not only because it helps to have someone to have to justify spending to and commiserate with when you want to eat out but also because she is the THRIFT STORE/CO-OP QUEEN!! She finds me things I had used to pay full price for, helps me with making my own stuff, and always has great tips on saving money. Plus we have canned together which saves money and is SO much easier (and LESS boring) to do with a friend. Having a friend to help you on your path is of immeasurable benefit. LOL Only problem we have is our phone bills are too high! Oh and I DEFINITELY want to talk about living mortgage free, I have not read the book yet but it is next on my list!

Tamara-As much as I hate to say it (and you better not tell him I said this) Darryl is partial right LOL We have put money away along the way because interest earned now while we are still young will be of great benefit in retirement. One thing he hasn't realized yet though is that learning to live on less money means you guys will have a whole lot more to save once the debt is paid. Think about this we paid over 400.00 every two weeks to our debt every two weeks. If we were not to have to move this year so our mortgage stayed the same we would over 10,000 dollar extra next year to put towards retirement. If we put away 10,000 a year for the next 10 years and then just stopped, the interest by the time we were ready to retire would carry us no problem. WE WOULD NOT HAVE LEARNED TO SAVE THAT AMOUNT OF MONEY HAD WE NOT WORKED TO PAY OFF OUR DEBT AND LIVE ON LESS MONEY!!! .PLUS if you are used to living on less you don't have to have a million dollar to retire on because you are not that expensive to keep!! LOL So you can retire earlier! This is explained very well in "your money or your life" Now we do put away 150.00 every two weeks because as Darryl said earning interest while you are young is important, but you really can do both. (Ducks from Darryl's evil glare LOL) Early retirement is almost 100% dependent on learning to live on less. the guy who makes 100,000 a year will likely not be able to retire until he is 65 so long as he lives on 100,000 a year...KWIM? Plus if he wants to continue to live on 100,000 a year his retirement fund is going to have to be AWFULLY BIG! We plan to retire at 49(dh) and 47 (me) all on one income but it sure as heck is not a 100,000 dollar income!! P.S. Hope everything is coming along well for the wedding SMOOCH!

Ok that is all for now, LOL I am going cross eyed again and dh is bugging me to go outside and enjoy our first day of weather above 9 degrees. Amity contacted me about starting a new forum, hopefully it will be up and running soon

Namaste

maryalene · 05-09-2002, 05:46 PM

Thanks B

The more I think about it, the more I think a two week system might be a good thing for us. We live hand to mouth and even though we make just enough to cover all our bills, we never have the money when the bills are due since we are both paid bi-weekly. If nothing else, at least this way, maybe we could avoid late fees since the company would have at least a part of our month bill by its due date. Thanks again and have a great evening everyone!

05-09-2002, 06:05 PM

Thanks so much for this great advice. We managed to get way into credit card debt while dh was in school. I knew how to be a smart consumer myself, but when I found out that dh didn't I (stupidly) decided that if he wasn't going to go without that I wasn't either. It has take years for me to finally get over this ridiculous attitude and take control of my life. Instead of wondering why I had to do all of the cooking and refusing to do it half the time I have learned to really enjoy cooking. Instead of letting my husband buy a pizza every weekend I have gotten into the habit of making pizza every weekend. And since I know that he gets bored with the same thing every day for lunch (which leads to fast food instead) I have learned to be creative and give him lots of variety. When he knows that food is already waiting for him he doesn't seem to mind eating it as much as when I wait to ask him what he feels like today. And of course, my biggest enemy (myself) has learned that the only one I hurt by buying unnecessary things is myself. Thanks again.

Cary

05-09-2002, 06:37 PM

Ugh, let me say I hate making soymilk, but it is something I can do and I know it is a real cost saver
The price I quoted was JUST for the chocolate soy milk treat, that did not include the price of regular soy, almond, and rice milk!
YIKES!!!

I use a regular blender, a big pot, some cheesecloth, and my stove.
And, soybeans and water

I use the recipe from the Farm Cookbook
(the people that brought you Spiritual Midwifery)

I had an electric soymilk maker and loved it,but it broke in less than a year

Not sturdy enough for the use I put it through I believe!!!!

I do not think everyone needs to do this, as I stated above, we all have areas we can save in, where to others, it would not make a difference... (maybe not everyone is a soy-milk-a-holic

or everyone is $45,000 in debt- that hurts everytime I say it, but makes me see what a serious issue it is!

Thanks again for bringing it up!

Myrrh · 05-10-2002, 01:30 AM

THANK YOU, THANK YOU for posting this thread! We are finally stabilizing our debt. We live on a military base and only have cable and phone bills, our car payment, and pay a small amount toward the land we own. I find myself spending WAY too much money here online and when I go to Walmart. The Wal-Mart thread made me decide to very rarely go in there, and avoid at all costs.

I'm gonna make a budget tomorrow, so that we can start putting more money on our car loan (our only debt besides the land). I want to build a house next year on our land, so I need to get myself together.

I'd LOVE to see a support group set up. THANKS AGAIN!