amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

~MamaCharly~ · 08-17-2004, 01:47 PM

We adopted Nestle back in Mid April. He took a week or so to come out from behind the couch but once he did he HATED my kids. He is always great at night when it is DH and I and the kids are in bed, but he absolutely is nasty to the boys. I feel horrible, they want a kitty they can play with so badly and they are not abusive or scary to this cat in any way. They will gently approach him if he is being still and try to pat him and he scratches. The boys will just be standing still and the cat will come up and jump up and scratch their neck or arms for NO reason and I've witnessed it first hand and it makes me so angry!
I keep telling the boys we will get rid of him and get a nicer cat but they say no we love him don't get rid of him. Would you try to return this cat to the shelter so he can be happy in a home with no children or would you keep him because your kids want to? I'm also afraid if we return him to the shelter they will not let us get another cat.
Is there a way to make him play with the kids? I'm so irritated. I have owned 5 cats in my life and all of them loved my child/ren so I really feel bad and hope to get one that does.

WWYD

GranolaMomma · 08-28-2004, 03:38 PM

That's a hard one. But personally, I would get rid of him. The shelter should not deny you another cat, because it is pretty common for some animals to not do to well with children...weather the children are sweethearts or not.

If either of my cats made me feel the way that yours does I would give them to a child free hom ASAP. Before something horrible happens.

Either way good luck!

mommy2maya · 08-28-2004, 09:51 PM

Our cat was like that til we let her live in the basement. She has free roam of the basement & outside, and she is pretty nice now. She will let Maya hold her, pet her and even carry her around. But, man, inside the house she was a b!tch!! Same way- only came out at night after the kids went to bed, ran away from them, etc. She was never aggressive with them, never scratched anyone. But, she did start peeing around the house, and that was the last straw, I was getting rid of her. Then, someone left the door open, she got out, and from then on, she has lived downstairs.

skyblue · 08-30-2004, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Would you try to return this cat to the shelter so he can be happy in a home with no children or would you keep him because your kids want to? I'm also afraid if we return him to the shelter they will not let us get another cat.

Shelters are not rescues. And yes, most shelters (and to be honest good shelters) would not let you take an animal after dropping one off for a set amount of time (our shelter has it set at ninety days). Don't just "get rid" of the cat; give it to a rescue and see if they have a child friendly cat. If you call a rescue and say I just brought my cat to the shelter and we want to adopt a sweeter one, no rescue will adopt a cat to you.

Is there a way to make him play with the kids?
I really doubt there is because you are talking about a cat, not a dog. For the sake of the cat's needs, not just your family's, bringing tha cat to a rescue would be a good thing; just don't take it back to the shelter. Also if you adopt from a rescue, they can let you know what the cat's personality will be after it warms up which can take 6 months or more depending on how that cat handles stresses in its life. Although it will be a stress on your current cat to find it a better home through a rescue, it will be way less stress than returning it to the shelter where it may be put down and some shelters might even do that as soon as you brought the cat back because your reason for returning the cat will deem it "unadoptable".

Jenn