amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

05-10-2003, 01:21 AM

We have a 34 month old and a 3 month old. The first few months were smooth,but now my ds is acting out constantly, in a very aggressive manner towards us, the pets, his sister,and even kidswe come across at parks, etc.. I am tandem nursing, and the kids seem to enjoy nursing together. When the baby is sleeping (and awake) I try to spend as much time with my ds as possible(my house is a mess)but it doesn't seem to make much difference. I'm feeling kind of desperate because I find myself yelling (lack of sleep = lack of patience with me ) and not enjoying the little rascal that my sweet son has become. Although (I'm sure things will cool off, I would love some ideas on how to get through this. He just doesn't seem to get that hitting is unacceptable. I'm constantly running to stop him from torturing the dog, I'm terrified he will get bit. Help please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MGray · 05-10-2003, 09:38 PM

Sounds like typical 3 yr old behavior to me. I know it is exhausting - I'm there!

Sounds like you need to teether that one to you and keep him under constant watch - this too will pass and what will get you through it is consistancy, consistancy, consistancy (and a lot of love). Do not grow weary in doing good, one day you will wake up and realize, DS hasn't hit anyone in quite awhile, and you will realize that you are over that hump.

Good luck - Melinda

Empathic~Heart · 05-19-2003, 01:18 PM

what a rough transition for all of you! I'm sure that he adores his sibling, but is confused about his "new" position in the family. He's having to share his mama - the most important person in the world to him, and it's hard to do! He's used to your 100% attention, and you simply *can't* give it to him all the time now.

I also think that developmentally he is at a stage where limits are for testing! My dd is just about 39 mos and has been constantly challenging boundaries, her own, mine, the pets etc. This is the time for individuation to begin, and children will start doing things that are their own ideas regardless of what is being told to them. It's their job - as annoying and frustrating and confusing as it is.

I would like to recommend the book "Siblings Without Rivalry" and also the booklet "Raising Children Compassionately" by Marshall Rosenberg http://www.cnvc.org as tools for helping you navigate this new path.

Keep talking mama - even if I don't have anything new to offer, I can always empathize and offer you support from a distance.

Hugs,
~Amy