amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

~Candy~ · 04-29-2003, 12:20 AM

She is driving me BATTY!!!!!!!!

I do not want to spank so I am reallllly needing some tips on what to do with her. She is so hard headed and strong willed and screams "NO" at everything I say.
Here are some of the things I need help with:
*napping/bedtime~she will not go to sleep
*yelling "NO" at everything
*temper tantrums~these can be b/c of anything from touching her hair to giving her the wrong cup
*getting dressed/undressed and diaper changes~she screams anytime one of these three things happen

any tips for me fromm those who have been there??

TIA!!!!!

mamajones · 04-29-2003, 01:05 AM

Hi Candy,

Just wanted to let you know that I am right there with you with ds. I have counted to 10 more times than I realize lately.

You are not alone

~Candy~ · 04-29-2003, 01:13 AM

thanks melinda

i know it's the age but sheesh!!!!!!!!

does your ds seem to know/understand the counting thing? i've tried that w/ jaycie and she just looks at me...sometimes she even counts with me....ughhhhh

dawnygirl · 04-29-2003, 01:20 AM

No advice from me, I'm going through that now with DS and he's not even 2 yet!! UGH!! I'm scared to see what he's gonna be like in another 6 months! Anyway, just try not to lose your patience I suppose. Whenever Connor starts to throw a tantrum (and boy is that often lately) I just smile at him and say well that's not going to get your point across or something to that affect. Of course I get lots of stares when I respond so calmly in public.. LOL I wish I had a solution for the diaper changes and getting dressed for ya.. Connor would much rather run around in a sopping wet stinky diaper than sit still for me to change it for him! I just try to ignore the screaming.. I know it's hard, but usually if I just ignore the tantrum he calms down quicker. DH just flies off the handle (yelling) at him every tantrum and that makes things worse.. (see.. there's a reason to keep your patience!

) Anyway, sorry I don't really have any advice.. just wanted to let you know you weren't alone..

~Candy~ · 04-29-2003, 02:38 AM

well, at least i know i'm not alone!

jaycie's the same way~she could care less if she's wet/poopy!!

i try not to loose my temper...i usually tell her that i can't understand her when she's crying/screaming and that when she can tell/show me what she wants, i can help but.......the majority of the time, she doesn't care; she'd rather scream. it's just so frustrating when we're in a store or i'm trying to put her in the car seat and she's screaming and people are staring at me like i snatched her......

more sighs......

ElDucko · 04-29-2003, 03:39 AM

When I'm calm enough to do it, I look my dd in the eye and ask her "what can I do to make this better?" in a calm and serious voice. Sometimes she'll just yell "no!" Sometimes she'll actually say something. I try asking her more than once if I get the no or continued screaming, or I'll suggest things, and it really does work. Not every time, but enough times that we use it a lot at my house. I don't think anything is going to work all the time on a toddler.

hth mama!

Oh, another thing is we do yoga at my house. I try to do a video and my girls both try with me. So sometimes I tell her "I think you need to do a yoga breath" and she will sometimes sit down and do them.

Jess

~Candy~ · 04-29-2003, 03:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ElDucko
When I'm calm enough to do it, I look my dd in the eye and ask her "what can I do to make this better?" in a calm and serious voice. Sometimes she'll just yell "no!" Sometimes she'll actually say something. I try asking her more than once if I get the no or continued screaming, or I'll suggest things, and it really does work. Not every time, but enough times that we use it a lot at my house. I don't think anything is going to work all the time on a toddler.

i do this as often as i can and like yours, she sometimes answers and sometimes keeps screaming.

~Amypooh~ · 04-29-2003, 06:26 AM

I still that that Abby and Jaycie are twins somehow.

When Abby starts throwing her tantrums lately, I walk away from her. I don't say anything, I just turn my back and go in the other room.

I wish I had a cure-all answer for you hon!

I miss you!

Morgansma · 04-29-2003, 11:57 AM

Candy,

I am having my own issues with my 3 1/2 year old. Some days it's tough. I don't think there's anything that works all of the time b/c little people are not yet good at dealing with their feelings but I've had luck with a few things (some days

If my dd has a breakdown or tantrum, I never raise my voice or yell back. It just escalates her tantrum and upsets us both even more.

I redirect. I start talking about something else, playing with something else or move her to another location.

My dd fights changing her clothes lately also so in exchange for the change I offer her to play outside for a while, go out someplace in the car, watch a dvd. I exchange the clothes changing for something I know she loves to do and it usually works.

We haven't had problems with the no word but have been through everything else you described and it's stressful some days to say the least. Each phase my dd has been through just ends all of a sudden. So, it won't last forever and you are certainly not alone in dealing with it

Also, I don't know if you like Dr. Sears but the Discipline Book has helped me a bit with dealing with these things. We are still working on a lot but it does get better