Gentle guidanceThis board is not a debate board regarding spanking vs. non spanking. While we strongly believe that children need and thrive with guidance, we also believe that hitting is not the answer. If you have come here to discuss spanking and your reasons, please desist.
I know for most households pre dinner time is the worse, but at my house it is a time for screaming, fighting, hang on mom. I cannot take it anymore!
It seems I have whinny/clingy kids anyway, but 4pm rolls around and all h@!! breaks loose until bedtime. The kids run around the house screaming and just being loud , then usually start fighting about something, then they are crying, the baby is crying because he wants to be held and nurse constantly. I can't even attempt to get the house picked up before DH comes home let alone try and start dinner.
Then there is dinner where there is complaining of what is for dinner. And the just plain not eating. Which is their choice, but nothing else it offered.
After dinner the kids immediately want to wrestle with DH, but he has just eating and also gotten home from work and isn't ready to wrestle.
The kids just seem to be wild and have way to much energy? They usually get sent outside to hopfully burn some off.
This isn't a once in awhile thing, it is every night
I have tried having things planned out such as playdough, coloring, different simple projects, but it seems it turns into he took this she did this and the fighting begins!
I just feel like I CAN NOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! I am going CRAZY!
Right now the two older ones are sent to their rooms and Austin in content playing for the moment.
Ooops let me change that he is now pulling at my leg and whinning
Thanks for letting me vent
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Cherise
SAHMama to 3 blessings~ Abbigail, Steven and Austin
NAPS, NAPS, NAPS! Sounds like your household is in need of naptime and if naps aren't an option I know some parents have "quiet time" where each child goes to their room or own space and spends an hour or so doing a quiet activity like reading.
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Because you are my life
the center of my world
the sun that holds together
the universe unfurled
within my heart you're held
each day goes by you grow
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Debby...Mom to Sammy 12/97 and Julia 3/00 and lots of furry beasties!
NAPS, NAPS, NAPS! Sounds like your household is in need of naptime and if naps aren't an option I know some parents have "quiet time" where each child goes to their room or own space and spends an hour or so doing a quiet activity like reading.
Yes, I agree, but most days it is easier said then done.
Today I tried to get ds#1 to lay down for over 1.5hours. I laid with him (which he didn't want), told him he didn't have to sleep just rest on his bed. He kepted getting up and coming out to see what I was doing. UGH!
It just becomes more of a battle.
Even the days he does take a nap it seems we have a hard evening. I just do not know what to do
your not alone! I have 2 boys and they are such a handful from dinner time until bed, its consistent and regardless of how much time we spend outside playing, hiking.... doesn't matter they run around, fight, jump off furniture... total chaos. I get frusterated too. Any mama's with advice I'd love some too............. hope things improve for ya
Valerie
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'Simplicity clears our vision, frees us from false values,
brings greater beauty to our lives'
Valerie, mama to Noah (9) and Zach (7)
and expecting a wee one Nov 3rd
I have the same problem here....when I can manage it, I feed the kids dinner at 4pm. My dh then eats dinner on his own later.The kids do not go through that crazy time when I do this and, even though my dh and I prefer for us to eat dinner as a family, no one enjoys the kids bouncing off the walls when we all eat at 5:30. I tried to feed the kids a good snack at 4, but then they aren't hungry for dinner at 5:30. Feeding them dinner at 4 works.
Good Luck!
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Jeni - wife to a great guy and mama to 3 at home plus one adult child who is expecting Feb -09!
Would it work if you were able to have the older kids in their rooms for about an hour before dinner? They could have a special book or toy that they only had during that time. Then maybe Austin could be in his high chair in the kitchen with you coloring or playing with play dough.
I'm not sure how that would work out for you, but gosh, I feel for you!
Yep. I call that the 'be-bit$ching hour' . I've found that giving them a little snack then helps. Not something huge and heavy- just something for low blood sugar. Maybe some veggies and dip- a little bread & butter- yk, things they give in a resturant to pacify you as you wait. lol
Also, there's an interesting book called The 7 O'clock Bedtime a friend of mine got through www.chinaberry.com. While some of it bugged me, there were some good tips about getting this part of the day under control. You might find a couple of good ideas in with the annoying ideas. lol
The snack might help out a lot! Maya gets really crazy whenever she is really tired or hungry. Tyler is always in need of being held/nursed SOMETHING while I am trying to cook.
Here are a few more suggestions for that crazy hour, though they are much easier said than done, lol, I have been trying to get myself to do them for a long time, and it hardly ever works.
Anyway, here goes:
Set the table for Dinner right after lunch is cleared away,
Get dinner ready early in the morning, when kiddos are happily playing- slice any veggies, prepare meats, yada yada
Do crockpot meals whenever possible.
Midafternoon snack- we don't eat til around 6-7, so I do feed my kids a snack around 4-5, something little, like some fruit, share a pb sandwich, some cookies, cold veggies, just something to get over the hump. If they are really itchy, and haven't napped, I will feed them both right then, and then put them to bed shortly after dh & I eat
Do quiet time activities during dinner prep- reading books, coloring, watching a movie
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Mary,
momma to Tyler 5-14-03 And Maya 1-19-2001
And Ciara 1-14-06
Wow, I'd be at my wits end, too! I'm sorry, that sounds so rough.
Here's what I would do, but keep in mind we are sort of strict about a few things.
~I'd reinforce naps or rest times in the afternoon. If I tell my girls they need to do something, like lay down and rest, that's what they need to do. You make the rules, you are the parent.
~I'd give each child a few chores that they are to do while you're cooking dinner. Older kids can set tables, get out silverware, younger ones can get out the napkins and so on.
~I'd watch and see if the wildness correlates to eating processed or sugary foods. Some kids get really amped up from sugar, atrifical colors, that sort of thing. I'd also have the kids help with preparing a fruit plate or something healthy for snack.
~I don't allow screaming/fighting. If my girls can't get along for whatever reason, they spend time in separate rooms. Usually five minutes of this and they're dying to play with their sister again.
As far as the discipline issues, I feel like as a parent you have a right to call the shots. If your children are acting this way daily, I would think about making some consequences to the actions. Whether it be losing a beloved toy for a day, or losing the "priveledge" of the TV of videos for a certain amount of time, or whatever suits your situation. It doesn't sound like you get a whole lot of respect.
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LOL Meeshi- I don't know why i am always amazed when you post about your 'strictness'. It sounds like thoughtful parenting to me. Fi, my children to not touch each other in anger. There is no hitting, period. Lots of people have asked how I maintain that rule-- don't sibs hit each other? Isn't it 'natural'? Not in my house it isn't.
From the time they were very young, I was right there, redirecting, reinforcing, physically moving and holding children who might want to vent on a sib. Sometimes I see people sit on their butts and call, "Don't hit your brother'. As if. I wanna scream, "get up, and go to him!" Nobody gets a hand laid on them here. Nobody gets a ride through the McDs drive through, either though. lol It's just how we do it. I don't know how I got so off topic here. LOL I was just thinking that kids need constant guidance and reinforcement. I know that doesn't sound terribly AP, but there ya go. And this has nothing to do with the OP! LOL I was just trying to think of one of our no way, no how rules. I have never come up with a rule about not crabbing and cranking at the end of a day! Dang!!
Laurie, in our circle of friends, J and I are known as the "strict parents". We have very specific rules that we expect the girls to follow as far as treating other people. And they know that if they do not listen when we ask them to do something, then there are consequences. They know the possible consequences, and we try our best to be conisitant. Consistant in the behaiviour we expect, and consistant in how things are dealt with.
Strict or not, I think the method has worked for us. We always get compliments on the girls, so we must be doing something right!
LOL Meeshi posted much of what I was going to say. I require nap/rest times, there is no arguing about it. Blake is a beast without a quite hour or two alone in his room, so is Marlie. My 3 share a room, so Mar naps in my room, Blake in the kids room. If he dosen't fall alseep within a half an hour or so I let him get up and play *quietly* as long as he stays in his room.
As far as fighting goes, it's not tolerated in my house. I send the boys to their room for a half an hour when I see/hear persistent bickering and fighting. They lay on thier beds, with no talking or playing. We simply do not treat each other like that.
How old is your baby? The dinner hour is when I was most thankful for a swing, bouncy seat, exersaucer, backpack etc...I've cooked many a dinner with a baby in any number of gadgets, to keep her happy.
I just feel like I tell them they need to stay in there rooms or take a nap, but they keep coming out and coming out and coming out. I take a way toys, tv, privledges, etc, but it just doesn't seem to bother them for more than a minute or two. I have yet to find the one thing that gets them, so to speak. Then I just get so tired of fighting/arguing with them for 1-2hour that I give up. I know I know it just make it worse the next time. But they just wear me down and they know this
Today, I did persist with Steven on taking a nap, because he was just whining over everything. It took 1 hour, but he finally went to sleep and is still sleeping. As far as persisting I just kept taking him back to his bed everytime he came out and told him he was going to take a nap!
He would come out again and say, "I'm a Happy Boy now!" but I would take him back and say
'yes, but a nap will help you to say a happy boy."
Meeshi, thanks your post always inspire me!
Tap dancin mama, I am going to try the backpack. I remember using it with dd when she was little, but I guess just haven't thought of it with Austin (he is 13mo) Thanks!
I am at my wits end!!
Cherise
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