amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

mommy2maya · 08-05-2003, 02:36 AM

Tyler does NOT like riding in the car. At all. Ever. He is 12 weeks now, and almost since birth he has gotten hysterical in the car. It is to the point that I don't go anywhere without my DH. Meaning we are at home alot during the day, there is not much within walking distance to us.

Anyway, I have tried so many things- paci, ocean sounds, talking to him, pulling over & nursing him, keeping my hand on him while I drive( not very safe ).

I feel horrible that he cried like this- he sounds like a kitten that got stepped on. He turns very red & sopping sweat. Very fast too, it can happen in less than a minute.

Any suggestions? I hate that he doesn't like the car, but I am really detesting staying home so much. Any ideas?

annb · 08-05-2003, 03:00 AM

A baby Einstein CD. You have to play it enough for him to be used to it and know the songs though.

mikaylasmama · 08-05-2003, 09:56 AM

It is hard isn't it? DD hated the car from day 1. She would start screaming as soon as i put her in the seat. At the time i was feeling resentful that i couldn't just go out when ever but looking back i would do the same things over.

I rarely went anywhere unless i could walk(which doesn't sound like it is an option for you) or dh could drive and i would sit in the back with her. I made only necessary trips,which weren't that many because i went with dh or sent him out to get what we needed. When she got old enough to enjoy looking at board books i would read to her while dh drove and eventually i was able to give her books to read/look at while i drove on very short trips.

I tried to plan to go in the car while she napped. Sometimes it worked.

Could you organize a playgroup that could meet at your place once a week. It isn't the same as going out but it might help meet a need for contact with adults(assuming that is what you are missing/needing)That is one thing i didn't do but wished i had.

tandemmama · 08-05-2003, 10:20 AM

JJ did this too, it was very hard. Eventually I found that singing "itsy bitsy spider" over and over was the magic trick. He'd cry if I so much as took a breath between rounds. As long as I was singing (and ONLY that song!) he was fine.

He eventually grew out of it (maybe 5 months old??) but I remember it being very hard when we were going through it! (((mama)))

bear · 08-05-2003, 10:57 AM

No help here, just lots of hugs. My ds (9mths) still does this. It is very hard to go anywhere.

mommy2maya · 08-05-2003, 11:01 AM

Thanks for all of the tips! It wouldn't be so bad if he was an only child, but I think Maya gets resentful cause sometimes we don't go where she wants to, yk?

It is just the strangest thing for him to cry like this in the car- at home he almost never cries- not even when he wakes up!

08-05-2003, 11:03 AM

My first was not soothable in the car. Nothing worked. My second cried, but putting visual stimulents on the back of the seat they were looking at (while reversed) really helps my 2nd DD. One Step Ahead has a mat for this that gave me the idea. The red, black, and white stuff especially. We have a discovery mat for laying on, and I just laid it over the seat. I have a bright sling, and I've used that to. I try and change it at stops for variety. I also have a CD of songs that play to the beat of a human heartbeat and she loves it. I hope it helps!

Mama*Kristen · 08-05-2003, 11:04 AM

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} It is hard... but it's so unnatural... to be left alone and not know what's going on... most babies hate car seats until they start to understand what's going on I think more towards the one year mark... anyway, my baby is no different she doesn't understand why that's the only time I don't hold her- so I normally don't go anywhere unless someone else drives and I sit in the back and nurse her... of course we walk everywhere all the time but car rides are limited to quick trips where she doesn't get as fussy- sometimes me and her go to garage sales but that's about it!

Good Luck

freedomlover · 08-05-2003, 11:48 AM

(thank heavens my third didn't!!!!!PHEW!)

Anyway......like Tandenmama said.....singing a certain song would work for me......in our case....I would sing either the ABCs alphabet song over and over at varying speeds and volumns OR Twinkle Little Star (baby two loved these words more) and so help me they would stop the crying to listen eventually! Use a lot of vocal expression while singing.

No fun......babies crying in the car!!!

Tap dancin mama · 08-05-2003, 12:10 PM

What kind of carseat do you have him in? My kids hated hated hated their infant seat. As soon as I moved them to a rear facing convertable seat they were happier in the car.

The other thing I used to do was put their carseat in the front passenger seat. I know it's not as safe as being in the back but I figured it was more dangerous for me to be driving with one hand because the other hand was consoling a crying baby. We didn't have a passenger airbag, so that wasn't a concern. In my new van we do have one and If I ever have another baby I would probably have a shutoff installed so I could have the option to put the baby in the front. But all of my kids spent a few months in the passenger seat. I think they were happier becaseu they could see me

mommy2maya · 08-05-2003, 03:40 PM

I am thinking of getting him the larger convertible seat NOW, lol. I was gonna wait until about 6 months, which is when we switched Maya, but I was thinking he might not like the seat he is in.

I would love to be able to move him up front with me, I don't have a passenger side airbag, but my seat belt is on the door, which is a big no-no.

One thing that works sometimes is shushing- if I continually say SHHHHH he's better, but if we slow down or stop, nothing I do helps!

lassie · 08-05-2003, 03:48 PM

LOL Well my dd is not your average kid, but she LOVED the contry groups Alabama's song "If You're Gonna PLay in Texas". ROFL THat was the only song that worked and it had to be pretty loud. To this day she gets with it if she hears that song. She was YOUNG too, like 7 weeks and would scream her head off otherwise. What can I say? She's a true Southern gal!

pmjmomma · 08-05-2003, 04:17 PM

Could he be feeling a touch carsick? My third would cry all the time, and I finally was so desperate that I would give my eldest a bottle of water or ebm to offer as we drove. She would sip on it and it really seemed to calm her.

The reason I say I think the prom is carsickness is because even now at 13 months, she will fuss for a second if we go down a hill or dirve on a curvy road.

branwyn · 08-05-2003, 04:39 PM

my lylly was the same way. this doesnt help but we never found anything to help her out. at 10 months she started not crying on short trips and now, at almost 2 shes jsut fine. i had been told from my naturopath that it might be her inner ears bothering her. that she had found with a lot of babies that howled in the car (with no way of comforting them), that there was an inner ear issue that is normally straightened out by about 18 months.

just my 2 cents :-)

Sharon · 08-05-2003, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mommy2maya
I am thinking of getting him the larger convertible seat NOW, lol.

Unfortunately, this didn't work for us. DS was tall as an infant, so he outgrew his infant seat at 4 months. Switching to dd's convertible didn't help at all. He'd still cry if in the car longer than 5-10 minutes. At least it only takes 5-10 minutes to get to one end of town to another.

But if you want to shop at more than Walmart or the grocery store or go to more than the two parks in town, you have to drive 30-45 minutes one way. Nothing worked to calm him down except for me to ride in the back with him.

We just stayed in town most of the time for his first year. He outgrew it eventually. My dh would take dd to the larger town to the zoo or other places during the weekends, so she was able to get out and around. It was good daddy/daughter time for them and a break for me.

I just hope this baby reacts to the car the way dd did. After 5-10 minutes, she'd be sound asleep! LOL!