amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

amy373 · 07-25-2003, 10:20 AM

Hi Mamas,
Our beautiful 12-month-old has begun pinching. She pinches my breasts when nursing (I'm going to get busy beads to keep her hands on something besides me.) but that isn't as bad as when she pinches other people.

She pinches my mom, sister, anyone who is holding her. It REALLY hurts. Is there anyway to guide her to not pinch? My mom asked if we should slap her hands, I said of course, no. I usually take Veronica's hands, smooth them with my own hands and say, "Nice touches." I feel I'm on the right track, but what have other momma's done?

Empathic~Heart · 07-25-2003, 01:21 PM

"Gentle" is the word we used. I would also suggest you tell her how much it hurts - "Ouch, that hurts mama. Gentle touches." and take her hand and show her (like you would if she were petting an animal).

This is totally a phase that kids go through, pinching, hitting, biting...they get through it! I think it's really part of their fine motor development process. It does hurt though!!!

Seriously, smacking a 12 month olds hands is not going to be effective and it always amazes me when I hear it suggested as a viable option. She won't have a clue why she's being hurt and it breaks down the trust she has in the adults who do it.

Good luck mama, keep us posted!

amy373 · 07-29-2003, 08:01 PM

Thank you, Amy.

I'm working on being consistant--everytime she does it I now say, "Ow! That hurts Mama. Gentle touches." She's been really agressive with the pinching lately but somehow, I'm staying above it all.

She has started pushing DH's shirt up on his arm so she can pinch his skin when he holds her. She gets upset if she can't push it up fast enough and he gives in and pushes it up for her. I asked him not to do that. He's working on it. He doesn't like to say no to Veronica.

At least she's not biting!!!!!!!!

Thanks, again!