amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

And Babies · 07-23-2003, 09:04 PM

Update:
Well, we have been to story time twice now, and Jeremie has not seen the little girl yet, so no real closure. Not sure I would feel comfortable going up to the mom now if I saw her, as it has been 2 weeks, and will be 3 weeks if we see them next time. Thanks for all your advice! If this ever happens again, I will be prepared.

So yesterday was story time at the library. Dh took dd, since I was babysitting and didn't want to drag 2 babies and a 4 year old to the library. Well, when they got home Jeremie tells me some little girl was pinching her leg. DH said the mom, kept leaning over and telling the little girl something. The little girl was sitting below Jeremie on the next step down on her right, and the mother was onJeremie's left. Jeremie apparently told her to stop but she wouldn't. And then after it was over the girl asked Jeremie if she was ok.

So later last night, I notice that Jeremie has about 5 or 6 little bruises on her leg. This little girl pinched her so hard she left bruises on her! I was so upset. Pinching is one thing, but hard enough to leave bruises is ridiculous. Why didn't the mom stop this?!

I told Jeremie that next time if she sees the little girl not to sit with her. And, if someone does anything that causes her pain and she tells them to stop, and they don't, to say loudly "STOP!" Is that wrong? I feel like she was violated, though she seems less upset than I do.

What would your advice be? DH said if he knew she was doing that, he would have put a stop to it immediately. I believe it too. He is pretty strict, and won't tolerate anyone hurting his children!

Debra · 07-23-2003, 09:11 PM

Hi Mama! I am so sorry to hear that happened to your little one! I would definately go to storytime the next time & speak to the mother about this! That, in my opinion, is something that needs to be addressed. I'd definately let Jeremie know that she does not need to sit around & take that & that if someone is hurting her to let an adult know! I wish I had some more advice but I understand how you feel! I would be pretty upset myself! Hugs, Mama!

happygal · 07-23-2003, 11:53 PM

I agree completely with Debra...your daughter need to know that she should never sit quietly while another child is hurting her. And, the offending child's mother should get it together. If were her, I would have been apologizing profusely to BOTH your child and your husband for my child's actions. I would also have required my child to specifically apologize for pinching, not just ask "are you okay?".

Maybe this sounds like an overreaction to some, but one child hurting another is never acceptable, IMO. At the same time, I know children sometimes do things that are innappropriate. But isn't that a parent's opportunity to guide them?

So, I would go so far to say that if this or anything like it happens again to ANY child and the mother doesn't take appropriate action to stop the pinching, the library staff should be notified of the situation.

pb_and_j · 07-24-2003, 12:50 AM

I agree that you should talk to the mother. But I think you are right to teach your ds to be *very* clear to other children if they are hurting him. He needs to tell them to stop and if they don't, move away or say it loud enough for an adult to hear. Kids who pinch, hit, or push need to get the message from *other kids* that's it not ok.