Gentle guidanceThis board is not a debate board regarding spanking vs. non spanking. While we strongly believe that children need and thrive with guidance, we also believe that hitting is not the answer. If you have come here to discuss spanking and your reasons, please desist.
My dh and I are just getting back into 18th century reenactments, after taking a couple of years off. Now that we have a child, a hypothetical question we've had all along has become not so hypothetical. How do we handle the gun issue? We love reenacting and don't want to quit, but how can we tell our child not to play with guns and pretend to kill people when her daddy is doing exactly that. Sounds hypocritical, huh? I figure there will eventually be a time when she is old enough to understand that he does it as a demonstration of how things were, but that is a long way off. Right now, she is only 9 mos. old, so she doesn't really understand what he is doing, and of course I don't take her to watch the battles, but we need to decide how we'll deal with this issue soon. Any ideas?
Personally, I don't think guns are bad! So, maybe this isn't the point of view you are looking for.
My DH hunts - he has lots of guns (and archery equiptment) around for that. We also have livestock, so we have several guns that are for putting animals down humanely. And, unfortunately - we also need guns around to deal with stray dogs that chase our livestock.
Anyway - so we have guns. My kids know that guns kill. They have seen it happen. We make no secret of where our meat comes from, we stress that when something dies it is gone forever. This is a lesson that begins very early, that you continue to discuss till you think they have a reasonable understanding of it.
My 7 yr old, I feel has a good understanding of death and its finality. He also has a very good grasp of gun safety. This comes from years of teaching. We have attended youth conservation days where they teach gun saftey too (done by JAKES).
My 2 boys (7 and almost 6) each have a BB gun that they may use with DH so they can practice gun safety and target shooting. They also have bows because DH is a big archery enthusiest. They always had toy guns when they were little.
Our rule is clear - there is no pointing a gun at a person or at the livestock or pets. When they had toy guns, if that rule was broken, they lost the priveledge of playing with the gun for quite a while. They did not recieve their BB guns till they showed a high degree of gun safety. (And they are never allowed to shoot without an adult).
(BTW - though I refer to my boys, my dd is welcome to the same treatment, so far she shows no interest in guns or hunting and has gone so far as to say 'that's for boys' with great distain!)
So - I think when it comes to your DD - let her share in your hobby. Teach her gun safety. Teach her that guns kill. Teach her that your reenactments are pretend, but that guns really do kill. I don't think it will confuse her to have rules that you never point guns at people and then see daddy do it at the reenactment. Just like I won't let my boys point guns at animals, but DH goes hunting.
They can understand, they can learn saftey. I wouldn't stress over it. Your DD will not grow to be some violent killer because you all do reenactments!
Melinda
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Melinda
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Thank you so, so much for sharing your experience. Most of the parents I spend time with do not have guns and don't do anything gun related. Many reenactors I know, and most of the ones I come across who have kids, have no problem with their kids pretending to kill each other, so I can't ask them for advice. As far as I know, we are also the only reenactors in the world who don't believe in spanking! I hope this is not really the case, but it certainly seems to be. Should make life interesting as baby gets older. Anyhow, I really feel better knowing we're not alone.
My husband is a former Marine, who enjoys going shooting,is a marksmanship instructor, and is hoping to start hunting, now that we live somewhere where he can hunt. I agree with what the other poster said, that with education comes safety. My girls have both been taught the proper way to handle a gun, and have been taken shooting, so that they know the power and possible destruction of a gun. Our weapons are kept in a locked safe, but they also know that they are only allowed to touch when a adult has said it is okay. My husband has also "tested" them by leaving an UNLOADED pisol sitiing on the coffee table. Neither girl touched it, but one of them did go and told daddy that he left his gun out, and that he needed to put it away. He has even taught them how to check to make sure the safety is on.
My husband has always believed that they needed to be tought how weapons are used, and when it was appropriate. I had always believed there would be a "no play gun" rule, but he has since changed my mind. he believes that forbidden things are what they will be drawn to, and if we educate them about guns, and other weapons, they will choose to use them reponsibly.
Anyway that is my 2 cents! What you are doing teached history, and that is very important!
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