Gentle guidanceThis board is not a debate board regarding spanking vs. non spanking. While we strongly believe that children need and thrive with guidance, we also believe that hitting is not the answer. If you have come here to discuss spanking and your reasons, please desist.
Mamas w/ Special Needs kids (esp Autism)...how do you cope??
Mamas...how do you cope?
I mean, Justin has a wonderful day, then something sets him off and BAM! Bad ending to a wonderful day for both of us. Tantrums, kicking, hitting, biting, spitting. We're doing time outs and holding his hands/arms at his side while at his eye level and saying GOOD HANDS, Justin, we use GOOD HANDS, over and over and over.
It gets to the point where I need to put him in his bedroom and have some mommy-time-out before I bust a gut or have an aneurism, yk? I find myself talking or yelling through gritted teeth, it's been so bad at times.
For instance, yesterday we had a wonderful day. We both woke up around 7am-ish. We ate breakfast, played with Scottie (our dog), played and cuddled together, and he drew for about 2 hours straight. At 2:45pm-ish we went outside for some warm sunshine and water fun...we washed our truck probably 6 times over and he was soaking wet and after we'd been wet for about 45 minutes I'd decided it was time to go in. I did a 3 minute and 1 minute warnings to let him know we were going in....even emptied out the bucket with the water and suds in it, and rolled up the hose. When I asked him to come in he started to freak out. I counted to three which, to him, means I mean business. Still a no-go. SO I had to pick up my 53 pound soaking wet writhing and kicking and screaming preschooler and bring him in. I took of his clothing and tried to warm him up in a towel, then a blanket. No-go. At this point he's seeking me out to take a bite out of my leg. I'm at a negative amount of patience at this point because I can literally only take so much, yk? This temper tantrum-ming and fussing went on for over an hour. I ignored him and he sought me out. I tried to cuddle him...no-go. I tried to distract him, didn't work.
In the mean time I started to sport a class A headache and was talking and at a few points yelling through gritted teeth.
HOW the heck am I supposed to make it through this? He's ONLY 4 years old and I feel so helpless! It's not Justin, not really. I just don't feel I have the *tools* necessary to cope well with some of his behaviors! He's a 4 year old, 53 pound, 42.5" preschooler with Autism, SID and verbal apraxia.
What the heck am I supposed to do??
Please...any tips, hints, *tricks* you may use with your own special kids...share them?
Is there a developmental preschool in your town? Daniel goes to one (he has a speech delay) and it's wonderful. It's only half day, four days a week, an all year program, and he loves going there. He can go there until he turns five but we're going to let him "graduate" this month since his preschool (mainstream) will be three days a week.
Your Justin is four already, so check with the school district when school starts. He would probably qualify to go to their special ed preschool?
It's not wrong to know when you need a break. Being a mom 24 hours a day, non-stop is tough. . .
Are there any parent support groups in your area? I don't know where you live, if the city is big enough, or if you live in the boonies in the middle of nowhere like me. We are blessed to have the Developmental Center here in town!
Other than sending you plenty of hugs, that's about all I can think of for now.
>>>Is there a developmental preschool in your town?<<<
He goes to one during the regular school year...from 7am-12:45pm (when bus picks him up and drops him off).
>>>Are there any parent support groups in your area?<<<
I'm sure there are, even found several. Problem is that dh works nights and goes to school days, and with only one vehicle and no babysitter, well, it just isn't happening, iykwim!
Thanks for the positive thoughts! It makes me feel more *normal* that others have similar issues as I am. And I truly think many of them are MY issues, as in zero coping skills for J's behaviors, yk?
Stacy,
"coping skills" are something that every Mama has to struggle with! some days are easier than others, hun. The other night I was telling dh that I was ready to resign from my position as Mama and asking him who to send the forms to.....
I'm glad he can go during the school year - it's probably a good experience for him and he can get his therapies there, right?
Have you considered calling any of the other at-home mamas in the parent groups and inviting them over? Maybe have an informal get together? Hire a teenager to come over and play with the kids outside while you share a cup of tea and some support? Having one car is the pits, we've had that before and I felt like I was trapped on a desert island with no way out and sharks all around me LOL
Mamas w/ Special Needs kids (esp Autism)...how do you cope??
Daniel and me...obviously I forgot to smile 
!
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