My MIL's church was doing this and she really pressured dh and I to follow the methods. She gave me a book and I never read it. I did not even realize that Ezzo was also GKGW. If I had I would have thrown a fit. i am stubborn and do not have a good relationship with my MIL. When ever she suggests I do something I become peevish and childish and do the opposite. I wonder though if she really thought the method was good or if she didn't have a clue what it was about. I don't think she would actually agree with putting a newborn on a feeding sced. but who knows? Anyway, I lost the book and I am glad I did. I will be on the lookout for anyone in my church talking about it as well.
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Every single thing I type is full of great reams of wisdom. Take it all very seriously. Because it is. Very serious. Seriously. It is.
Real quick question since everyone here seems to have a christian perspective and an understanding of Ezzo. Are the "Pearl's" teaching the same thing as Ezzo? I haven't read either but have been pressured by other CHristians I know to parent according to the PEarl's books. I skimmed the book she gave me and I didn't care for any of it and threw it away. Are the PEarl's and Ezzo teaching the same thing?
The AAP has made statements about Ezzo as has the Christian Research Institute . There have been articles against him in World Magazine, Christianity Today and Christian Research Journal. The Co-Founders of the program have spoken out against it as have John MacArthur and the church that these programs originated at. Here are a list of the links I emailed to my friend in case anyone else needs them. I am sure that they have all been posted before, but just in case. My fear is that the pastor will say that this is just propaganda(sp) or that well we aren't teaching the first segment in the series Prep. to Parenthood(?) So it isn't that bad. To me, even if there were NO issues with GKGW the fact that it is written by the same individuals as first is enough of an issue. I guess I had better start printing.
I took Growing Kids God's Way when Melissa was a baby. It is for preschool and up (It's the babywise that talks about babies and that I have not read - but heard it's pretty bad). I don't remember Growing Kids God's way to be that bad - lots of natural consequences and talking to kids before you go into the situation about what to expect - practicing introducing people , saying your name, manners- that's about all I remember. I do remember thinking that none of it was really relevant to my child at the time. Our class ended up just talking alot of the time though and we all brought food and had neat snacks - there were about 4 of us with nursing babies there.
Pearls are much worse IMO - someone gave me there book and it talks about things like spanking babies when they cry when you put them down - much bigger emphasis on corporol punishment than Ezzo's from what I remember. (But I haven't read any of the Babywise books, so I don't know really if Ezzo's promote that also). The one good thing I took from the Pearl's book is to pay attention to the baby when they aren't being fussy. (but they also subscribe to ignoring your child when they are crying). I found that since my 1st baby was colicky and held pretty much 24/7 - when I had my 2nd baby - I had the tendency to only pick him up when when he fussed or requested attention. So that was a good thing - I just figured if he wants me, he'll cry or something. There's probably better sources out there to find that out (that was before I found this site - for example)
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Cheryl single mama to
Melissa (9), Michael (8), Madeleine (7)
twins Megan & Maribeth (4)
Yes, the AAP has issued many warnings against Ezzo because of babies being hospitalized and yes, even death, from rigid feeding schedules, stress, dehydration.....And BabyWise also believes it is "ok" to use a wooden spoon and etc. to "smack" the hands of infants 4-6 months and up.......)o: I remember reading about the Pearls, and their "blanket" time, and how "Ezzo" it seemed and was...how both Ezzo and them recommended placing babies on a blanket for "blanket time" and if the baby moved off or crawled off the blanket, to smack them, or their hands if their hands "left" the blanket......I was shocked.
__________________ "Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity."
George Bernard Shaw
I just wanted to respond to the idea that some children raised on Ezzo are well behaved. Like Denise pointed out, at what price? What I wanted to add is that it is not true for all children. My brother took the Ezzo courses at his church and bought into them, as well as uses spanking liberally. My nephew and niece are spanked quite a bit and my brother really feels it works. He bragged to my DH about several times when he spanked my nephew (and described they were good, hard spankings). Anyway, I would not say my nephew and niece are better behaved for it. Indeed, my nephew has been expelled from daycare due to hitting/throwing. He frequently gets in trouble at church nursery for hitting and other physical behavior (hmmmm...wonder where he learns it from). He tries to get away with whatever he can -- tries to secretly hit, grab, etc. I see little remorse in him when he does something wrong. He seems to get angry when my brother punishes him. In NO WAY is my DS perfect (REALLY!), but there is big difference. DS really feels bad when he hurts another child (usually his sister -- but not all that often). Usually if DS does something wrong, he tells me (he tattles on himself). We rarely have issues with DS hitting or being aggresive to another child (knock on wood!). So yes, while I've seen some kids that have responded to Ezzo-ism by being very good, I've seen other children (not just my nephew) who actually seem to have behavioral problems because of it.
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~Rondi~
Wife to Rich. Mama to 8 year old Elisha (aka Mr. Memory); 6 year old Chloe (aka a real life Diva) and 4 year old Jadon Jack (aka Mr Messy)
As a Christian, I believe Satan is using the Ezzos big-time to mess up our families, our children's lives, and turn them against God. I think they're horrible. I would definitely print out all the info you can and give it to the church. If they aren't willing to cancel the class, I would find a different church that will be more supportive and not pressure you to be an abusive parent (YES, I think Ezzo parenting IS abuse and neglect...I'm sorry if that offends anyone). I have not read GKGW, but I have read Babywise and it was horrible enough (I've heard GKGW is much worse).
HTH
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God Bless You-
Beth <><
Wife to my best friend~Adrian
Mama to Gabriel
Christian, Attachment Parenting, Cloth diapering, Whole Food Eating, Extended-breastfeeding, non-vaxing, non-circing, gentle disciplining, loving mama to my "bichito" (little bug); 2-1-02
but the Ezzo debate board at parents place is an amazing wealth of knowlege as well. Several women on there babywised their kids and are now dealing with the consequences (kids with detachment syndrome...I can't think of exactly what its called). I was given a copy of babywise when I was pregnant. I read it and DH and I were very interested and planned to do it. Then after Lauren was born I got on the net one night (remember those NO SLEEP nights lol) and found the ezzo debate board. I sobbed as I read the first hand accounts of mothers whose kids wouldnt let them hug and kiss them....and those that nearly died from dehydration. I knew that was God's plan for me to read and see the damage and learn from it.
j
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Jamie, wife to Joe, momma to Lauren (1/27/02) and Tara (2/3/05)
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Crystal's website (www.aolff.org) and appreciate her yahoogroup beyond words.
People talk down to their children so much, it sickens me. They yell, and, I believe yelling to cause the same psychological damage as spanking or hitting. Yelling is "hitting" someone with your words.
I believe parents don't recharge their batteries and this leads to frustration and feelings of being overwhelmed. I also believe parenting to be hardest job in the world, and we don't support each other enough in day to day craziness.
So I guess the point I am getting at is if you are feeling overwhelmed with parenting, reach out. Make friendships (like here), discuss things and NEVER stop learning.
Just my little PSA of the day...
BTW, I am *not* saying I do not feel overwhelmed or frustrated. I am trying to share my experiences and what has helped me to feel like I can parent better.
Ezzo and the Pearls are very damaging for children. RUN from any teachings.
I think we all have our horror stories from when we were growing up. I don't know about you, but that is my fuel for *not* doing the same things my parents did to me.
See, I think she (this lady from church) assumes that if ds has develop. problems and can be challenging at times that it is because I don't parent by the Book. I guess that I just feel that the Bible urges us to train a child taking into consideration(sp) the individual personality and health/ develop. issues. We choose our battles w/ ds. Some things are just not that important in the big scheme of things but what I get from her is that children should be small adults hopping to each order at lightening speed & never questioning or thinking about it. We are Christians. I have plenty of dreams & hopes for ds but most of all I want him to be Christian as well. I want him to share our faith, but I want it to come from his heart not be something he has had pounded into his head. The same goes for obedience. I want him to obey because he is convicted in his heart if he doesn't not because mommy may be watching. I won't always be with him. I just think there has to be a better way of getting children to that point than the Ezzo plan. Sorry, my soap box of the day... Nice to see that others do feel sort of the same way.
the babywise book was reccomended to me by a friend when I got pregnant. DH and I went to look for it at a book store one day and we couldn't find it (God's divine intervention).
Well, I didn't think about it for awhile, DD was born and I joined a mommy and me class. The class was totally AP (totally opposite of what I was raised), I loved the class, the people there. The leader talked about attatchment parenting all the time, so I sought out information for myself.
Just a side note, we had been co-sleeping and such from day one. We had planned on spanking (didn't have a specified age though) All of our family spanks, we never considered not spanking
Anyway, we read more about AP and decided that was the way to raise well balanced children. Well, I decided that I can't be *against* something I know very little about. So I decided to read "On Becoming Babywise" That book is just evil!
It's quick reading, well worth it to find out what exactly it teaches. DH read it too...we are so disgusted!!!
I worry about all the babies out there who are being abused because people think they're doing "God's Will" by raising their children this way. It makes me so sick.
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Amy, mama to my wonderful girls Veronica and Vivian
If we've had a transaction, please leave my feedback here. Thank you.
It's Incredibly Scary
and Vivian 
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