amitymamaThe Attachment Parenting Community

Mama2miracles · 03-13-2003, 07:01 PM

Oh my sister and I used to get separated by a tape line down the middle of the floor. I have not tried this with my kids, but it might work for designating separate play spaces within the same room.

pmjmomma · 03-13-2003, 07:11 PM

I've taken a completly different approach lately, and it seems to be working. When they come at me with the "she did. . . she did. . . " I answer (calmly) "hmmmm, it seems like you two have a problem. I guess you'll have to work on that". I found that when I tried to get involved in the solution, they felt I was judging which was in the right.

There have only been one or two instances where one child has taken advantage and continued to attack at that point. . . usually, they switch back to using words to try and work it out. Sometimes, they agree that they have a problem, and seperate for a while, sometimes one of them will come to me in tears, but at least they are owning their roles in the situation, and learning to work things out without 3rd party involvement.

Of course, this is pretty new, so the effectiveness will probably wear off. . .

fw221 · 03-13-2003, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CherylE

#3 I inform them that since they can't play nicely, playtime is over it's now time to clean up. Then I have them both start cleaning up their room and the living room. You can add any other jobs you have that you want done. My mom used this with us all the way through high school. This was also the consequence of whining "I'm bored". The response would be "o.k., go clean the bathroom/wash the dishes/vacuum the rug/rake the lawn etc".

ROFLMAO! Did you have my mother?

I can speak from personal experience that this is VERY effective.

amelia · 03-13-2003, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pmjmomma
I've taken a completly different approach lately, and it seems to be working. When they come at me with the "she did. . . she did. . . " I answer (calmly) "hmmmm, it seems like you two have a problem. I guess you'll have to work on that". I found that when I tried to get involved in the solution, they felt I was judging which was in the right.

There have only been one or two instances where one child has taken advantage and continued to attack at that point. . . usually, they switch back to using words to try and work it out. Sometimes, they agree that they have a problem, and seperate for a while, sometimes one of them will come to me in tears, but at least they are owning their roles in the situation, and learning to work things out without 3rd party involvement.

Of course, this is pretty new, so the effectiveness will probably wear off. . .

I like that !